Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...

10.31.2003

Powered by audblogaudio post powered by audblog

Found this funny bit over at jennifer's. Read all the way to the end. Too funny.

Gertrude M. Jones
...Gertrude M. Jones, 81, passed away on August 25, 2003, under the loving care of the nursing aides of Heritage Manor of Mandeville, Louisiana. She was a native of Lebanon, KY. Her husband, Warren K. Jones predeceased her. Two daughters survive her: Dawn Hunt and her live-in boyfriend, Roland, of Mandeville, LA; and Melba Kovalak and her husband, Drew Kovalak, of Woodbury, MN. Three sisters, four grandchildren and three great grandchildren, also survive her. Funeral services were held in Louisville, KY. Memorial gifts may be made to any organization that seeks the removal of President George Bush from office.
Times-Picayune 10/9/2003.


omg I thought this picture was so funny...this is why our cats hate us, you know.

We have spooky ooky music playing outside, luminarias lighting the walkway, and a few lit candles here and there on the fence. It looks fun and inviting, I hope the little ones bundle up and come and see.

Listening to: Thursday
Eating: Chips and dip
Drinking: Diet Pepsi
State of Mind: Rushed
Thats fucked up: It's so damn cold

Ok, forget what I said when I was complaining about the weather still being too hot. Now we all have 3 inches of ice on our car windows, and the biggest decision of the day is deciding which credit card to use to scrape it off. (Ice scraper burned up with the rest of my car). Tonight would be such a good night for our first fire of the year in the fireplace. Ah, maybe tomorrow.

And now, kiddies I have to bundle up and trek to the bank and post office. I can only hope that the post office clerks have dressed up for halloween, and I can laugh at them after I leave.

I feel the beginnings of a really bad headache, but am trying to shrug it off due to lack of interest and time.

You know how you can tell sometimes that product warnings have come about because some idiot did it before there was a warning? Or maybe an addendum will be added to product information because a company gets continuous calls about it? I'm thinking thats whats happened here. In my tivo manual it says:

You cannot manipulate programming that has not been broadcast yet.

What?! Really?

You mean I can't fast forward through a show that will air next Tuesday night? Damn.

School last night was a little better, but not stupendous or anything. I did get signed off on one skill, but there were several others available to work on, but I just didn't wanna. I did splint traction, which I could do in my sleep if necessary.

I tried to sleep late today, but only made it to 10am when the damn peeping tom mailman came ringing the doorbell about 5 times, then knocking LOUDLY just to give me a package that didn't even need to be signed for. I'm getting so irritated at him. For some reason I can let a phone go unanswered but ever since the car fire I can't let the doorbell go unattended to. Grr.

I have an overnight stint in the ER tonight, so I'm gonna try to get a nap or two in today. Katie is having friends over tonight so she is busy getting ready for that. Yesterday was Charlie's 18th birthday, so they will be celebrating that, and halloween. I wish I was going to be here, but the ER calls and I must answer the beckoning! lol. Hopefully we'll have some good stuff come in.

By the way, here's a silly picture I took at class the other night. The "patient" had been in a car accident and the "emt's" are packaging him up for transport. Whee.




10.30.2003

Stop the ride, I want off.

So on my way to school last night my dad calls and said that Dr. Bob had died. Our family physician since I was very small. I remember being in his office as early as about 5 years old. He retired 3 years ago, and then got cancer. The funeral was this morning, so I went with my dad. There was easily 500 or so people there, and the church was standing room only. We got there early enough to get a seat, been then was asked to move because they hadn't reserved enough pews for the family, so we ended up standing in the back. It was really sad, and lots of folks had good things to say about him. It was an open casket, and he actually looked pretty good. There was a reception afterwards, but I couldn't go cause I had to get home and get ready for Emma's party.

So the party went well, it was pretty low key...as low key as kindergartners get, I suppose. We played a game, decorated cookies, and had a veratible free-for-all. Dy drove up for it and was a big help, as was Mark. There was a lot of other moms there too.

Now, I have to get ready for school again. Last night was not great at school. We did scenarios and I don't think I did very well and left feeling pretty bummed. I talked to another student that I've become pretty good friends with and he was very encouraging. Let's hope it goes better tonight.

I'm just so tired.

10.29.2003

Oh and there's 17 book orders waiting. Great, just great.

Have been to Target, Wal-Mart and the grocery store. With a toddler, so that counts as like 2 Targets, 3 Wal-Marts and a couple of grocery stores.

I think I have everything I need for Emma's party, and then some. I just need to make some finishing touches on things and we'll be good to go. I just got done making 5 punkin shaped ice trays full of jello jigglers. Hope they come out. Each tray has about 30 little punkin holes. I'm also making iced sugar cookies and orangey krispy treats, but am going to do that tomorrow. I have games, and I have prizes. I have goody bags and a big black cauldron for dry ice fun.

Can I have a nap now? Oh nevermind. I have to go to school! Arg!

I swear, no matter how late I go to bed I can't sleep past about 8am. That is so messed up.

I need to go to Hobby Lobby or some shit today to get the finishing touches for Emma's party tomorrow. And to echo Derb's post about parents who don't pay attention, I called a parent in Emma's class to see if they were bringing something to the party.

"Oh yes, I'm bringing cupcakes"
"Well, actually, the PTA has asked that we not bring any cupcakes"
"I know, but I asked Mrs _________(Emma's Teacher) and she said it was ok"
"weelll....she may not be informed about the rules the PTA put out about the parties"
"I'm still going to bring cupcakes, I always bring cupcakes"

Fine, bring cupcakes you sanctimonious bitch. Sheesh.

Dy, Mark and Katie are all coming to the school party - I think that will make it a lot more fun and a lot more comfortable for me. I just hope the kids have fun. Especially the pink pony kid.

10.28.2003

Grr.

I feel like it's been a loooong day. In reality Emma is just being Emma and I'm just being me and daddy is late because he's selling a car.

I'm really grouchy.

Listening to: Saves The Day
Eating: Just had some cotton candy
Drinking: Diet Coke
State of Mind: Lazy
Multitasking: Nope
Who Im chatting to: Some BF people
Thats fucked up: It's dark too early


Just watched White Oleander. Pretty good, I hadn't really heard much about it so I didn't know what to expect. I like Michelle Pfieffer and she was wonderfully bitchy in it. Gotta love that.

Had a lot of errands and catching up to do today, then the midget and I went and hung out at McD's play place for an ungodly 2 hours. I read the paper, she found a million kids to play with. It was nice down time, even though it was peppered with the squealing of too many toddlers.

I scheduled another ambulance ride, but it's not till November 18. I really need to have all my clinicals done by then, but I thought what I would do is just get as many rides as I can and even when I'm done with what's required, I'll keep riding just for the hands on experience. This ride will be at a pretty busy station, another student rode there and had about 10 calls in 24 hours. That'd be nice.

I'm not quite feeling up to snuff, I think I'll head back to the couch and get under some covers.

10.27.2003

Listening to: Dr. Phil
Eating: Had some Progresso tomato soup a bit ago...yum
Drinking: Diet Coke
State of Mind: Lethargic
Multitasking: nope
Who Im chatting to: no one
Thats fucked up: Daniel's not here yet and we're supposed to go to Kmart.
______________

Mark and I did a Noglenn book run today, just like old times. Was pretty fun tho a little rushed, as Emma only has a half day on Mondays.

Came home and have been doing catch up paperwork ever since. Insurance forms, school forms, something stupid from the IRS, calling around to try to get more rotations on ambulances, etc...

And I am entirely too tired to hear a lecture this evening. I need to get gas, go to the post office, and take Daniel to Kmart still. Where's my clone.

10.26.2003

Listening to: Good Charlotte
Eating: Ugh no, full from breakfast at Denny's
Drinking: Diet Dr. Pepper
State of Mind: Relaxed
Multitasking: Watching TV, downloading music
Who Im chatting to: No one
Thats fucked up: No one's called me back re: treats for Emma's school party.

___________

I'm trying something new, putting the above as a permanent part of my template, to fill out each time I post. Well, probably not each time..but frequently. We'll see how it goes and if it's fun or stupid.

A day different that what was planned. But that's not always a bad thing.

We were supposed to go meet Mr. My Typing Sucks in Colorado Springs for lunch. Was looking forward to that, I always like meeting people I've been reading about. But then that was canceled, not exactly sure why. At any rate, Mark and I went out to breakfast together instead and talked about a lot of good stuff. Now I'm gonna get laundry done and have a nice veg-type day.

The Free Association meme found at LunaNina

the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word:

  • Roadtrip:: Fun
  • Honey:: Sticky
  • Flanders:: Simpsons
  • Vampire:: LeStat
  • Justice:: Of the Peace
  • Marine:: Biology
  • Protractor:: Math
  • Rubber:: Glue
  • London:: England
  • Jerry:: Seinfeld

  • SimilarMinds.com Compatibility Test

    Your match with Mark
    you are 91% similar
    you are 79% complementary

    How Compatible are You and Your Friends?

    10.25.2003

    I tried to audio blog from inside the haunted house but I couldn't and eventually just hit "end" because I was too scared and I was just screaming screaming screaming and burying my face in the back of Mark's coat.

    It was really really cold, and we had to wait in line for 2 hours. Mark was such a trooper, just going along cause I wanted him too, then going in front inside the house because neither Daniel or I would. Daniel was even holding my hand. lol It was seriously so damn scary.

    It was fabulous.

    Now we have coffee brewing and SNL on the tube. We bought some decadent sweets at Heritage Square's little candy shop, and those will be devoured post haste.

    I found it!

    Writing that last post reminded me of something so funny.

    Emma and I have this little thing going where she constantly gets me to try to love horses, and I get her to try to love penguins. She'll say

    "Why don't you like horses?"
    "Cause I just don't. Do you like penguins?"
    "No, I hate them"
    "Well I hate horses"
    "OK."

    Sometimes we'll just be walking down the street home from school and we'll do this:

    Me: "I love penguins"
    Emma: "Well, I hate them"
    Me: "OK."

    It's a mutual understanding.

    Sheesh.

    I've just spent the last two hours compiling a CD for Daniel. 2 hours you say? Well, I had to get all the songs that go on the CD, test them all to make sure they were complete and clear, put them in the right order, burn them, THEN I looked up ALL the lyrics, VERIFIED them against the actual songs while they were playing, tidied them un into a neat word doc, printed them off and put them together nicely.

    So now Daniel has the newest Good Charlotte release, and all the lyrics printed off. I'm trying to motivate him to pull his grades up a bit to go to the concert with me. I bought 3 tickets, but I told him he's not going if certain grades don't improve. And he knows I mean it. I would have no qualms about dragging Mark and Katie with me or some other alternative.

    I totally fell in love with this CD while doing all this, I am so damn excited for the concert.

    Tonight we are going here. The Rocky Mountain News says:


    Nightmare at Spider Mansion Grade: A

    This 20-minute haunted house is a great mesh of scary ideas. Detailed spooks come one right after the other, each one unique and surprising, creating the perfect place to come for those looking to scream. Composed of high quality scares that are different from other houses (such as a windy, pitch-black crawl space), Nightmare at Spider Mansion is a fun and welcome haunt.

    In a scene reminiscent of Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, you encounter a long hallway with eerie, twin girls standing side-by-side at the end. As you cautiously approach them, the lights suddenly go out for a few seconds. When the lights come back on, you discover that the girls have disappeared. You know they'll reappear - but when...and how?

    Prepare for one of the most creative and spooky endings of any haunted house. It starts as you walk by an old-fashioned showtime display into a small movie theater auditorium, its seats filled with corpses. As you walk down the narrow center aisle, notice the grainy, black-and- white screen and worry whether there are some living movie patrons among the dead.

    Nightmare at Spider Mansion is cheaper in price, but that doesn't mean it's cheaper in terror. This house utilizes many detailed and dark scare tactics, but with its own twist. Containing exclusive and fun scares, Spider Mansion effectively combines dramatic buildup and psychological suspense with spontaneous, jump- out-of- your-shoes frights. Looking to be scared? Spider Mansion has almost everything you can dream of - or rather, have nightmares about.



    I LOVE haunted houses. I can't wait! And the best part...

    NO HORSES!

    I was supposed to stay at the firehouse from noon-10pm. I stayed till 2am. And we had..count em...

    One Call.

    14 hours. One call. One. Uno. Ein.

    One, solitary call. Ridiculous! It's Friday night for heaven's sakes. What are you all doing? Being healthy and driving safely? How dare you. Humph.

    And the one call we did have was a big snooze. Geriatric trauma, a woman slipped on some leaves while walking down the street. Helllooo? Watch where you're going! It was still fun tho. I love how you pull up with a fire engine and an ambulance and instantly 500 neighbors are outside. I felt so important. Too bad I wasn't. lol.

    But now I am going to have to schedule more ambulance rides so I can fulfill my patient quota. Oh darn.

    All the firemen were really nice, my preceptor was a wealth of knowledge and even helped quiz me a bit on things. He said "wow, I'm impressed. You've got it down."

    And yes, some of them were extremely cute. Aren't they always?

    10.24.2003

    Oh, one more thing. Vivor.
    Good lordy. Why is Drake so tolerant of Jon? Are they completely oblivious to how ridiculously annoying he is? C'mon! I know for one thing, it's painfully apparent how much Probst hates him. And what is this Johnny Fairplay finger salute thing? Someone take him out and leave him for the pelicans, please!

    Actually, I was secretly hoping that Rupert would be the one to go. His pirate attitude is getting on my nerves a bit, matey. Although I agree that keeping him around till the merge is probably a good idea. Problem is, now he knows some folks are out to get him. Though it looks like next week he's on the warpath to see who wrote his name down. I did think it interesting that while the tribe seems to have this unexplainable affinity for Jon, no one told him what they were doing at the vote, and now he's come off looking the jackass.

    And the previews for next week. I think someone is coming back. (ok, I lied - I know someone is coming back. I found a spoiler site....lol) I won't divulge, don't worry.

    Ok, now you've all made me late - gotta run!

    I'm up, I'm up!

    Katie said "why don't you ever sleep in anymore?" Yea, why is that?

    Gotta jump in the shower and get ready to go hang out with hopefully handsome firemen all day. heh. I'm doing a noon-10pm shift, I hope it's busy. Not that I'm hoping that people are collapsing and getting in car wrecks all over town today, but well,..you know.

    I had to go to arc and get a white polo, the ones the school provided are huge! I could fit a few of us in there all at the same time. I hate ordering a size when you can't see the shirt beforehand. All we need is a plain white polo, and lots of folks at school were complaining that they couldn't find one anywhere. I said "where have you looked?"

    "Target, Kmart, WalMart, golf shops"

    Amateurs.

    I went to arc 20 minutes ago and am already home with a fine white polo. I had to dig deep for the $1.06 it cost me too! lol

    Ok, well off to the shower. Wish me luck.

    To echo my sister's sentiment...

    muwahahahaha.

    Loveland Ski Resort was slated to open tomorrow. What do you think? Are they gonna make it? Let's have a look at the past couple of days:

    Denver Tue: 86
    Denver Wed: 84
    Denver Today: 84
    Pueblo today: 92
    Lamar yesterday: 95
    Aspen today: 74

    Love it!!

    Can you tell we could care less about skiing? Hahahaha. Maybe all the beanie heads up there with their poles at the ready can roll down the hill curled up inside an innertube.

    10.23.2003

    It is soooo mommy day.

    Emma had a meltdown about getting her toys together to go to mommy's. But we had to let it happen.

    We instituted a rule a few weeks ago regarding toys being schlepped back and forth between our house and mommy's house. The rule was basically...NO. lol

    It got to be a big hassle and a big stink everytime it was time to go to mommy's house because Emma wanted to load up every adult in the vicinity with armloads of toys she wanted to take to mommy's. And similarly, she would return with armloads of toys that never got played with, but sat right at the front door where she left them when she got here.

    So no more toy transfers.

    Well, she brought toys this week. Big toys. Lots of toys. lol.

    Mark and I decided when she got here that since she decided to defy the rule, she would have to manage the toys completely and totally herself.

    So today, while getting ready to go to mommy's she had considerably more toys and packages than she could handle. She had to bring everything upstairs on her own, which was no small feat considering what she'd brought. Then about halfway up the stairs everything fell open and scattered from here to kingdom come. After several minutes of trying to re-contain everything she finally had a complete hissy fit, threw everything down the stairs in a huff and said "THIS SUCKS!"

    She hollered for Katie to help her but we stopped her and reminded her that since she chose to break the rule, she had to manage the consequences. It took her more than a few minutes and she cried more than a few tears while getting all her belongings together. A harsh lesson, but necessary to get the point across. "Yes, it sucks to get all these toys together. We don't like it either, that's why we're not doing it anymore."

    And at the end, when everything was neat and tidy and ready by the front door she said "That was so hard!! I'm never bringing another toy over here."

    Music to our ears. Sometimes you only have to put your foot down once.

    This is really weird.

    Katie and I were musing the other day about how we go shopping and then sometimes don't even unpack the bags. Especially with thrift store stuff. We'll find something we think we can use, then it just gets moved around the living room in the arc bag for two weeks, then finally someone puts it in a closet and we forget about it.

    Well, I was reading The Presurfer and saw a reference to the Butterfly Alphabet. It totally jarred my memory about how much I loved this litho. I've always loved it, and always wanted a copy.

    Then I remembered. Wait a minute, I found one of those and I think I bought it. I think I showed it to Cindi. It was a large framed litho, and I think I bought it at a sally up north. If I didn't buy it, I definitely saw it up there, and I'm gonna be mad if I didn't buy it. But I think I did.

    But you know what, I have no idea where it is. God, that's weird.

    10.22.2003

    Class was good. Blood guts and gore. Eyeballs poppin outta heads. (On the video, not among the students.) We talked about sexual assault, and things people get stuck in their various orifices. You don't want to know.

    Edit - I just realized the google hits that will result from that post. - heh.

    A pretty quiet afternoon, Emma took a nice nap after she came home from her buddy's house, and so I took advantage and took one too. Now am showered, dressed and ready for the trek north for school. We're dealing with trauma this week, and it's been really interesting. Very blood and guts and gory, but very cool.

    This Friday I will be at a nearby fire dept from noon-10 pm, and riding the ambulance with them on their calls. I hope it's busy. A lot of other students have said their fire dept rotation was boring and to bring a book..but hell, even I can't read for 10 hours straight.

    Time to get crackin.

    Oh something else funny about Emma on her computer. She has several games set up, and some on CDRom. She loves playing them, but changing them out are a bit of a problem for her sometimes. So whenever she gets tired of one game, we'd have to go in there and change it out for her. Well, I stopped letting her play games on her pc because she was wanting to change them every 3 minutes and it was becoming highly annoying. So Mark decided to institute a rule that she had to wait 15 minutes before changing games. We put a kitchen timer in there and when it goes off, she can have her game changed.

    Well last night she was playing a game and the timer went off. After about 2 minutes she came to the top of the stairs and was starting to sniffle and cry a little bit. She was sad cause wasn't done playing that game yet! She thought you HAD to change the game when the timer went off, regardless. Ha.

    Sorta like old times today...

    We got up early and had breakfast at McD's while Emma made friends on the playplace. Then went to arc and sally but didn't find much. Emma found a plastic case with Spirit on the front, we let her take it up to the cashier and pay all by herself. She was ecstatic. She's now two doors down at the neighbor's house playing with The Girl Who Is Too Big For Her Age.

    Last night Emma tried to pull a fast one. She hadn't watched much tv during the day so I told her she had time to watch about 3 shows, or one movie. She opted for shows. She watched 2 episodes of "Kindergarten" on HBO. After they were over I said "do you want to watch another 30 minute show, or do something else and save your last 30 minutes of tv time for later?" She said:

    "I think I'll watch a movie now."

    heh. Nice try.

    Actually tho, she ultimately opted to go do something else, and went in her room for about 90 minutes, playing with her dollhouse and surfed the net on her pc. She never did ask to watch tv again. Bonus.

    She's got quite a few websites that she visits, and one of them has sheets that you can print off and color. She's so good, she sits down at her pc, opens Internet Explorer, knows exactly how to get to her websites, knows exactly what to click to get to the coloring sheets, knows what to click to print them and then toddles downstairs to the printer, takes them off and colors em. Such a geeklet!

    I have a few things to get done, but I'm feeling a little poopy. I'm gonna set the timer for 30 minutes, take a nap then go get the midget from the Big Girls house.

    Hope you all are having fun.

    10.21.2003

    Money...it's a bitch

    Too many things to do, and I'm too distracted to get any of them done. I am going to list some books, because Mark asked me to. He doesn't come right out and ask me to do very much at all, so I know he felt like it really needed to get done. I still feel like I'm recuperating from being up all night on Sunday, but I have certainly slept enough to get caught up on my sleep already.

    I did do some running around and then watched the Phil-e-meister. Very good today, about couples and people in money trouble. As always, one quote stuck out in my mind.

    "It's a very peaceful feeling to know you are paying all your bills on time, and living within your means."

    Something I have only experienced in the last couple of years, and it's true that it is a peaceful feeling. It seemed that for all my life I was borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, and spending my paycheck the day it arrived. I never saved any money, and had no emergency plan. I paid myself first (in toys) and paid my bills last. Now everything is paid on time, I have no revolving debt, no car payment, a full refrigerator, and my lights are on. And money to spare. And considering how little income we have in this house, that's nothing short of a miracle.

    For the last 15 years or so of my life my first thought in the morning was always a feeling of dread about money. That's one of the most nauseating feelings, ever. "How am I going to pay the phone bill?" "I can't pay for car insurance this month because I have to pay my credit cards that I didn't pay last month." "I wonder if my mom will loan me money for utilities".

    I can attribute most of my progress to Mark. Debt is not in his vocabulary. Late payments are not in the realm of his reality. He pushed and pushed and pushed me to get my shit paid off - at the expense of a lot of other things I was used to. It's amazing how much money we (all of us) nickel and dime away. Dinner out, a magazine, toys for the kids. The entire two years I lived in my apartment I literally bought nothing that wasn't absolutely necessary. Every extra penny went to my debts.

    If was excruciating. But oh my goodness, the feeling I have now is literally "priceless".

    And, I attribute some of my progress to my mom, though she probably doesn't even realize it.

    Very soon after I was separated, I found myself in a minor money pinch and asked her for a loan. Very small, I think it was $150. I'd asked her many many times for loans before. Always small amounts, to just tide me over. Well this time she said no.

    No!

    We had a huge fight, and didn't speak to each other for over two years, even though we live less than 5 minutes apart and had in the past spoken nearly every day.

    I don't know if her intention was to force me to fend for myself, but that's exactly what happened. I realized it was not my family's obligation to get me over the financial humps. I was in my 30's for goodness sakes! It wasn't like I was a college student newly out of the house.

    I resented her for a little while, but soon realized that I would never get anywhere while leaning on her. I had to quit a job that I loved and get a job that paid better. A job I didn't like and was overqualified for, but kept me afloat. Essentially, the job that got me out of debt. And now that times are good, I can work on getting the job I've always wanted, and be done with struggling.

    I suppose it's a maturity thing, to realize that the people kicking you out of the house and kicking you in the ass are doing it for your own good. I know a lot of folks are in the boat I was in, and I hope they can dig their way out, too. I know it's hard. It wouldn't feel so damn good when it's over if it was easy.

    So now here I am getting ready to embark on a totally different career. Money be damned, I will be making a difference.

    The happiest thing I can think of is that I will never ever push papers for someone else. I'll never be in charge of ordering copy paper. I'll never type labels for file folders. And I'll never wear pantyhose or highheels to work again!




    I think the title bar thing is fixed, but now my page seems to take an inordinate amount of time to load.

    Maybe it's time to go back to a spiral notebook, hmm?

    The truth and nothing but..

    It's amazing how honest of an answer you will get when you ask kids questions.

    When we pick up Emma from school, we always ask her:

    "How was your day?
    "What was for lunch?"
    "Did anything fun happen?"
    and -
    "What did you get in trouble for today?"

    We started asking her the last question about 2 weeks ago when she volunteered that she'd gotten in trouble for something or other, and we acted surprised. Then she said "Oh, I get in trouble almost every day."

    Oh.

    Of course it's always minor, but it's also a very good indication of areas that could/should be talked about. Today, she got in trouble on recess for going too close to the fence. Yesterday it for yelling. (She can be quite yelly, yanno.) So we talk about those issues when she gets home, and maybe figure out why she got in trouble for certain things, and more appropriate ways to behave.

    She's also been talking alot about kids that have been teasing her here and there. Usually it's related to her size, one boy continually calls her a baby, for instance. But today she was irritated about a boy that she said was teasing her at lunch. I said:

    "Well, what did he say?"
    "He said hey you! Where did you get that food?"

    Wow, that's brutal. heh.

    10.20.2003

    I'm here, don't panic.

    Tiiiiired. Got home and ate some foodie, then went to bed for the next 6 hours. Now it's time to get ready for school. Aagghh....

    I now totally know what firemen mean when they describe their jobs as 6 hours of sheer boredom followed by 15 minutes of insanity. There was a few interesting patients here and there, but after about 3am it was deadsville. We had a motorcycle crash where the guy nearly severed his "boys", an attempted suicide by OD which was nutso. This guy took approximately 20-25 pills, two different anti-depressants and he was whacked out. It took about 10 of us to hold him down till some sedatives took effect. He was bleeding really bad from his nose, not sure why but that complicated things. Then of course after they gave him some charcoal to counteract the effects of the pills he was a puking maniac. Whee!

    A few other minor things, but nothing earth shattering.

    Mostly I'm just tired, tired, tired. Mark's being a dear and bringing me frequent refills of coffee, and generally keeping me encouraged - and awake.

    Gonna go have a nice bath and head north for class.

    10.19.2003

    Everyone keeps telling me I should be trying to take a nap. Are you kidding me? I'm freaking out. No way can I sleep right now. Hell, I can't even sit still. And I'll probably be so wound up when I get home tomorrow morning, I probably won't be able to sleep then either.

    On one hand, I'm hoping it's a quiet night. On the other hand I'm hoping for mass casualties and numerous gory trauma. Full report to follow, of course.

    You all have a good night. Back around 8am. mwa!

    I had a dream last night about working in the ER tonight, it wasn't scary or nightmarish or anything, but I woke up with my stomach cramping really bad. I got up and threw up a little, and proceeded to sit on the throne with the runs for 45 minutes. We're havin some fun, aren't we?

    I don't know what I'm so hell fire nervous about. I'm doing better in class than most people, so I should just be able to step right in and get things done. I'm just nervous. Can't help it.

    Katie and I are heading to WalMart for some "therapy." heh.

    I've made two pages tonight, one page of photos of people that I write about in the blog, and one page of photography photos. I've linked them over on the right there, under photo galleries. I've taken off the link for the yahoo gallery pages, because that was just a pain. I will add more photo pages as I get the time and inclination. These took me about 4 hours to put together.

    Please go take a look at some of the pictures, I spent a grand amount of effort on them and it would be nice to know it wasn't a waste of time! Come back here and leave me a comment about what you think, or something you thought was cool, or funny. I could use the strokes tonight.

    Also - please let me know if something is funky or not working properly.

    10.18.2003

    Blogger has gone so downhill since google took it over. Nothing works like it's supposed to, and they never answer your inquiries anymore. What about this title bar? That never works. Now my pictures hosted at blogspot aren't displaying.

    Had lunch with my mom, Applebee's of course. Yummm fried chicken salad. No other plans for the rest of the day, and that's nice. I considered going to the Starz Film Festival but I think I just wanna hang out and do nothing. I have a bunch of movies taped, and a nice comfy couch very near here. I'm pretty sure there's no comfy couch at the film festival.

    I love sleeping in but I feel so useless and groggy in the morning. Must get motivated.

    HASH(0x8739f7c)
    January


    Which month are you?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    What a great night.

    Had my dad and stepmom Marla over for dinner and it was so fun. Katie made the most delish salad, and the ribs came out melt-in-your-mouth tender as usual. Man, it was tasty.

    Lots of good conversation, and my dad liked his big ol' radio. I felt bad that he had to haul it home, hopefully he can get it in the house and down the stairs ok.

    I found out that Marla (stepmom, not the cat) is going to Pharmacy Tech school and is due to take the test in November. Wow! Everyone is getting into the Pharmacy groove. She had some good advice for Katie, who is mulling over her options.

    I have to apologize to Marla here (she reads, who knew?) because I kept mentioning that my dad was coming to dinner and never once mentioned her name. And after my poutfest about the "stepmom outburst" at kindergarten yesterday, I felt terrible about my leaving her out. It made me feel that maybe having the official title doesn't mean squat, and what matters is how people treat you. I'm treated quite well, and I'm thankful for that. I know I will be more concious of her feelings about this in the future.

    Tomorrow will be a virtual blissday. Daniel is going to his dads, Mark works the long late shift, and Katie will probably work and then hang with the Char man. No bother, I'm getting to appreciate my time alone. I'm so damn nervous about my ER rotation on Sunday night anyway, that I probably wouldn't be very good company.

    10.17.2003

    Me and Katie have been shoppin shoppin shoppin. Home Depot, Kmart, The EMT Supply store, King Soopers. What a bundle o' fun. I finally have all the stuff I'm supposed to have, goggles, EMS scissors, and I finally got a watch too. I think that's absolutely everything I need. In 55 hours I will be doing my first rotation in the ER.

    Got all the goods together for a yummy dinner tonight (A big salad with tomatoes, mandarin oranges, raisins and balsamic vinagrette - BBQ Ribs, cheese and garlic biscuits, veggies, and brownie sundae for dessert.) Oh yumm oh yummm.

    My dad called today and said he was going to go talk to Mark at work about a new car. Lord. My dad is so impatient (you think I'm bad) and just will not put up with once moment of dicking around. I hope it goes well.

    Saw this somewhere, a long time ago. It still makes me laugh:

    MOTTOS FOR EVERY STATE:

    Alabama:
    At Least We're Not Mississippi

    Alaska:
    11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

    Arizona:
    But It's A Dry Heat

    Arkansas:
    Literacy Ain't Everything

    California:
    As Seen On TV

    Colorado:
    If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

    Connecticut:
    Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character

    Delaware:
    We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water

    Florida:
    Ask Us About Our Grandkids

    Georgia:
    We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism

    Hawaii:
    Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
    (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

    Idaho:
    More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good!

    Illinois:
    Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

    Indiana:
    2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

    Iowa:
    We Do Amazing Things With Corn

    Kansas:
    First Of The Rectangle States

    Kentucky:
    Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

    Louisiana:
    We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

    Maine:
    We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

    Maryland:
    A Thinking Mans Delaware

    Massachusetts:
    Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's*
    *For Some Tax Brackets

    Michigan:
    First Line of Defense From the Canadians

    Minnesota:
    "10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes!"

    Mississippi:
    Come Feel Better About Your Own State

    Missouri:
    Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

    Montana:
    Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else

    Nebraska:
    Ask About Our State Motto Contest

    Nevada:
    Whores and Poker!

    New Hampshire:
    Go Away and Leave Us Alone

    New Jersey:
    Ya Wanna Fuckin' Motto? I Got Yer Fuckin' Motto Right Here!

    New Mexico:
    Lizards Make Excellent Pets

    New York:
    People Without Cars

    North Carolina:
    Tobacco is a Vegetable

    North Dakota:
    We Really Are One of the 50 States!

    Ohio:
    ...Fire ...on what lake?

    Oklahoma:
    Like the Play, only No Singing

    Oregon:
    Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

    Pennsylvania:
    Cook With Coal

    Rhode Island:
    We're Not REALLY An Island

    South Carolina:
    Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

    South Dakota:
    Closer Than North Dakota

    Tennessee:
    The Edjucashun State

    Texas:
    Si' Hablo Ing'les - Translated = Yes, I speak English)

    Utah:
    Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

    Vermont:
    Eehh, Yep

    Virginia:
    Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

    Washington:
    Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

    West Virginia:
    One Big Happy Family-Really!

    Wisconsin:
    Eat Cheese or Die

    Wyoming:
    We're On Your Way To Somewhere Else

    We got our midterms back last night, I got an 89%. Not bad, not bad. Then when we did our simu-birth test last night, the proctor said mine was flawless. During my scenario, my baby got stuck in the birth canal, the shoulders were a bit too big for the pelvis. I knew what to do, but she asked me "What's this situation called?" And I drew a blank. She tried to prompt me..

    "It's called sshhhoooulllderrr....."
    Me: "uh...stuck-a-mitis."

    Haha. When in doubt, make em laugh..and she did.

    And here's a little story, called "Just how dumb are you?"

    There is a night EMT class, and a day class. Our teacher teaches both, and she is forever telling us how low their test scores are, how poorly they are doing on their hands on exams, etc. It creates quite a rivalry, and of course we just eat it up.

    Well last night was the only only only day you could test for simu birth. The woman (droll, monotone) that comes in to do it only comes in once. So we're going along last night and at about 7:30 the proctor said "how many more people have to do this?" and about 4 people raised their hands. She said "Oh wow, the day class took 4 and a half hours to finish, you guys are doing great!" So we were of course feeling all full of ourselves.

    Then these two people come in that we don't know. A weasle-y looking guy and this woman. Oh man, this woman! Heelllooo? Full hair and makeup with heels is sooo not EMT class. They announced that they didn't get a turn in the day class and they wanted to do their simu-birth. Fine.

    So the weasle and this woman sit in the farthest back corner of the room, she's flipping her hair, putting her perfect size 7 high heeled black boots on the desk and laughing at various night people attempting to get through their birth. Already people were muttering under their breath.

    Then at one point the proctor looked at her and said "You don't have to sit way over there, you know"

    She barely looked up from her compact and said "We don't want to get the "yuck" of the night class on us".

    Excuse me? First of all you're in the night class right now. How stupid are you to sit and disrespect all 40 of us when you are such a big fat zero?

    Everyone in the room started making their under breath mutterings a little louder. Finally, when it was her turn, we did a little laughing of our own. She was horrible, she had no idea what she was doing. She took 15 minutes to get through a 4 minute birth. This proctor was ultra lenient, yet ditz-brain didn't pass. Hahaha! She had to wait till everyone else was done and then try again. When the proctor announced she failed, everyone started slapping their palms on the tables, nearly rythmically, like "Get out..get out...get out...get out..." It was quite the scene.

    So anyway - it's blissday you know. My day of aloneness while everyone is off doing what they do. I need to go to the store for my dad's dinner tonight, and run to the post office too, of course. I had intended to have a lie-in today, but at 8:05 Mark calls and said

    "I need you to drive down to the end of our street. I think I left my portfolio on top of the car."
    Christ.

    So I get dressed, put my contacts in (soo blind) and head outside. But right at the front door, there's his folder on the desk in the living room. Gah.

    So now I'm awake, and might as well "get dressed and ready for the day". Oooh, that term. ha. It's something I always told my kids to do when they were little, even if we weren't going anywhere all day. They always wanted to lounge around in their pj's from dawn till dusk but I always made them get bathed and dressed just as if we were headed out the door. - to this day it is a pet peeve of mine if Mark stays in his bathrobe for longer than an hour or so in the morning. It just seems sloppy and lazy and unmotivated to me.** I've used the same term on him. "Why don't you get dressed and ready for the day?" He balks...I usually win. lol. I know, Im weird. Hey - some of you are weird too.)

    **This opinion is that of the writer. It is in no way intended to imply that you yourself are sloppy, lazy and unmotivated if it is noon and you are still in your pajamas.

    10.16.2003

    Back from kindergarten hijinks. I got to meet:

    The Girl Who Is Way Too Big For Her Age
    The Boy Who Only Speaks Russian
    The Boy Who Speaks Russian and English and Helps The Boy Who Only Speaks Russian
    The Girl With A Lot of Missing Teeth
    The Really Really Quiet Girl
    The Distracted Boy
    and finally..
    The Boy Who Wore His Pajamas To School.

    However, in that boy's defense, I sent Daniel to school in his pajamas once, when he continually fussed about getting dressed in the morning. "You don't want to get dressed? Fine with me. Off you go."

    I only had to do that once.

    So who knows, maybe pajama boy fusses about getting dressed. Or maybe he just likes to be cozy and comfy at school. Who knows.

    We made spider legs, we traced our name with orange glue. We ran out of time and Nell ends up finishing everyone's spider after they've gone to lunch and turned the lights out on me. Pft.

    And I am simply and utterly sick, tired and frustrated of being called...well, nothing. Emma's teacher introduced me as Emma's step-mom, which of course brought a loud and demanding uproar from Emma, who got out of her seat to stomp around the room and shout "She's not my stepmom! How many times do I have to tell you that!"

    To which Emma's teacher replied, "well then, what is she?"

    Awkward deathly silence. 21 pairs of little eyes looking at me. My heart sank. I got that shitty feeling in the pit of my stomach - the one that makes you mutter "Fuuuck....." under your breath. Emma's teacher finally bailed me out and said "well, it doesn't matter cause she's here to help us and that makes her special!"

    Kinderspeak to save the damned.

    Sorry, a bit more moving and shaking on the blogroll. Took out a couple of links because they recently switched to black backgrounds, and it's just too hard for me to read. I will keep checking em tho, if they switch to a design I can read I will certainly put them back up, because I enjoyed their blogs.

    Other folks hadn't posted in some time, a week or more..so I gotta get rid of those too. (except for Katie, she's exempt..lol)

    If you're looking for a regular read of yours that is missing, let me know and I will email it to you.

    Based on the popular novel for young adults by Frank Sacks, this heart-warming drama concerns Billy Hastings (Kevin Zegers ), an 11-year-old boy whose life is shattered after his leg is permanently damaged by a drunk driver. Billy and his mother Julie (Anne Archer ) move to a new town in hopes of escaping the bad memories of the accident. Not long after they arrive, they visit a threadbare circus, where they discover a neglected horse. Feeling sorry for the animal, they arrange to take it home, only to discover that the horse is pregnant. That's the least of their surprises, though; the horse shortly gives birth to a unicorn, which appears to have magical powers.

    I found this movie on some forgotten channel in the middle of the night a few days ago. Can you guess who loves it? Can you? Can you just imagine who in the world would go nuts for this movie? Anyone?

    I'm putting it on video so she can take it to mommy's today! Have fun, mommy!

    Gotta go be the volunteer da jour in Emma's classroom in a little bit..but I'm sluggish.

    I slept so fitfully last night. I kept dreaming of patient assessment and my clinical rotations. Soo nervous about it all. I was up no less than 5 times - going to the bathroom, getting a drink, etc. It doesn't help that we went to bed after 3am, either.

    My dad is coming over for dinner on Friday night, so Katie and I are renting a carpet cleaner today. It sooo needs it. After the living room rug is pretty again, I am going to go buy an over-rug. You know, a rug to go over the carpet that we can dirty all we want and then go buy a new one. =) I'm not sure what to make for dinner, but I'm sure I will come up with something fabulous.

    Ok, gotta get ready. More java first tho. There's entirely too much blood in my caffeine stream.

    10.15.2003

    Gah...school was so boring.

    This woman they had come in to teach us about emergency childbirth was just so droll...and monotone..and uninteresting.

    The subject could have been dealt with in an informative, fun manner. But it was not to be. She must have dealt with some pretty dumbass paramedics in the past cause she must have told us 5 times - if the baby is coming out, don't try to push it back in.. Well that's just a great big DUH.

    She also talked some about stillbirth, and telling a patient that her baby is dead. Something I'm not all that comfortable with, and really isn't EMT protocol anyway. I think our other teacher "L" gave us the best advice yet when dealing with someone asking - "Is my husband going to die? Am I going to die? Is my baby dead?" is to merely say - "I don't know, but I'm not giving up, and I don't want you to give up either." I think that's a very reassuring statement, even if you know damn well there's no hope. There are people in the hospital that are trained to give bad news.

    My class is so funny, even when things are dull, dull, dull they find things to heckle about. And we do heckle, believe me. Not in a mean way, but it loosens things up.

    Tonight this woman was talking about delivering the placenta and how the OB kit in the ambulance has a plastic bag to put the placenta in. But she explained that the bag had an opening at the top that was realistically too small to "catch" the placenta with, and so we should use the box that the OB kit comes in to catch the placenta, and then put it in the plastic bag. She mentioned this about 3 times. Put the placenta in the box. Put the placenta in the box. Put the placenta in the box.

    Then later, she asked the class "How would you keep bystanders away from an emergency childirth scene?" Of course someone piped up:

    "Let them hold the box".

    Amazing!
    NEW YORK (CNN) -- A ferry filled with New York commuters struck a pier Wednesday afternoon as it approached the Staten Island terminal.

    Afterwords, the ferry master went home and committed suicide.

    Wow.

    (Edit - the story has changed to reflect that the ferry master tried to commit suicide, but didn't..)

    __________

    Am having some yummy Fazzoli's chicken salad before I head off to school. Did you all hear that someone was kidnapped from Fazzoli's yesterday and forced to rob a bank? It was the same Fazzoli's Katie works at! Turns out the woman kidnapped works at the bank targeted, so it wasn't exactly random. Still very weird.

    That's about it for today. I hope everyone that has kids watched Dr. Phil today. Enlightening.

    omg, I love this blog. I've read three days worth and I am hooked. People have told me that when they read my blog it's like sitting down to a cup of coffee and having a chat. And now, I totally get it. This is exactly what I feel like when I'm reading this blog. And her site is huge - pictures, issues, stories, and more and more pictures. Vegetarian, a bit new age and earthy, homeschools her children, Oh and she scrapbooks. And of course everyone in her life is driving her crazy.

    Cindi, the queen of "I just want to read about people going to the grocery store and stuff" will love it.

    You all know that I am an admitted reformed Phil/Oprah hater. I couldn't stand Oprah. I loathed Dr. Phil. I thought their blind army was loaded with putty brained, conformist, needy fools. But in truth, I'd never really watched them that much. I'd never listened to anything Dr. Phil had to say. I'd never paused for one moment while he was on and listened to what his mantra was. So, well - long story short, I started watching both Oprah and Phil. Mostly because of my coolie moolie generic Tivo.

    (BTW, tomorrow's Dr. Phil is "Disciplining Children - what works and what doesn't". I am SOO there)

    So now I tape them every day. I only watch about 30-40% of what I tape, because I will start it and see that topic is something I could care less about. Like Celebrities. Good lord, I hate talk shows about/with/featuring/talking about celebrities. I love reading about and seeing talk shows about the entertainment media - because I like movies, obscure music, popular music, etc. I just couldn't give a rats ass about the celebrity usually.

    Anyway - where the hell was I going with this? Oh, right.

    So this Dr. Phil that aired today was the hands-down best marital advice I have ever heard in my life! It was all about newlywed couples who are having detrimental problems, to the point of considering breaking up. Anyway, his advice was right on and his wife had some very enlightening things to say too. One thing she said, that gave me the shivers was:

    "Nothing you can do will make me leave"..

    It was like a revelation, because most of me and Mark's issues (and they really are few and far between) are about commitment. I see holes in his commitment, that in reality don't exist - when in fact, he's proven his utmost loyalty time and time again. And I can see that the only thing that will make that go away is my mistrust of it. I've totally had a change of heart.

    When Dr. Phil's wife said that, you could tell she meant it. It was a core piece of their commitment to their marriage, and I wanted that, and I wanted Mark to have it too. He worries that I will stop crying Wolf one of these times and really break it off for good. But from the deepest part of my heart, I know that nothing he can do will make me leave.

    Mark always feels like I don't believe his commitment, and in reality sometimes I don't. Or I do, but I wonder when it will change and I won't be necessary anymore.

    Baggage? We both brought a full set.

    Till now, I've kept myself just a short distance away, so maybe I'll still be strong when it's over. But I don't want it to ever be over even though I've never let Mark believe that. I have to just admit to him that nothing he can do will make me leave. And I have to start believing it when he says it to me.

    10.14.2003

    Not much going on, just trying to get ahead of the game since things are getting busier. I start volunteering in Emma's classroom on Thursdays, starting this Thursday, I guess I got the "all-clear" from whatever background check they do. I also need to call a few more people re her halloween party, and in addition to school I have several overnight clinicals starting this week. This Sunday night I'll be near downtown from 11pm-7am in the ER. That should be fun. And in relation to that, I still need to get a watch with a second hand. Don't have one of those yet. Must do. soon. soon. I have one pair of EMT pants, but I feel like I should get one more. And why in God's name is every EMT shirt issued to us WHITE?! Bleh. I can't stay clean in white anyway, much less dealing with a multitude of bodily solutions.

    My test went well I think, it took me 90 minutes, and I'm pretty sure I did ok. There was a very few things that I had to guess on, and when I came home to look them up, I found that I got about 3/4 of those right. So I should be....right about where I always am, in the mid 80's percent.

    Getting ready to head out to the post office for now, and then maybe the cleaners. Wow, so exciting!

    10.13.2003

    I've been taking online quizzes and vocabulary flashcards all day for my midterm tonight. I've been hovering around 67% which isn't great, but I tihnk I can improve upon it.

    Here's some fun news - I have my ER rotations scheduled, and one of them is from 11pm - 7am on HALLOWEEN Night! Whee!

    Off to get ready..later gators.

    10.12.2003

    Fuck. A big chunk of the tooth that I'm getting worked on next just broke off. Now I will have to try to get in asap before the root realizes it's exposed and starts screaming bloody murder.

    Am sick, sick sick. The whole left side of my body is achy and sore to the touch. I have a massive sore throat and am sooo tired. I've had a 2-3 degree fever off and on all day. Mark and I went to a brunch buffet and about half-way through it, I knew I should have stayed at home.

    Tomorrow is Daniel's birthday and Katie and I are scrambling to put something together for him. Although Friday was his "celebration" with the concert and all, it looks like his actual birthday is going to go by without fanfare. I told him I would take him shopping in the morning, then we're gonna have a quick cake and candles around 4, before Katie goes to work and before I go take my test. The rest of the evening he'll be pretty much home alone.

    It's my dads birthday tomorrow too, gonna call him tomorrow and try to set something up for next weekend.

    Now, I have to go lay down again. I have spurts of about 15 minutes of feeling ok, then 2 hours of feeling shitty again. My 15 minutes are up.

    10.11.2003

    The concert was great fun..but really really HOT. You could feel cold air blowing in around certain places in the auditorium but the colume of bodies in such close proximity just made it really really stuffy and sweaty. But damn, it was fun. Daniel and Craig had a really good time too.

    Not doing much today - had lunch with my mom, Mark and Katie. We went to Chili's, had bad service, and got a generous amount taken off of our bill. My first complaint was "could you fiind our waitress? We've been seated for some time and haven't seen her yet." My second complaint was "Could you send the manager over to take our order, please, we still haven't seen a waitress." After our second complaint they couldn't do enough for us. And, the manager did indeed end up being our server.

    Mark and I are off to Target now, for lack of anything better to do. Neither one of us are feeling 100% and there is nothing on tv. I know, a billion channels and nothing to watch.

    10.10.2003

    Grrroan. I think I'm getting sick!

    I'm achy achy achy, and I feel feverish. Don't the illness gods know this is not a good time?

    Katie and I went to arc this morning, and oh my goodness. We spent $90! Have you ever spent $90 at a thrift store? We got two big things tho, one is an old old old radio for my dad for his birthday, and it works! Katie also found a funky chair that she is going to re-cover. I will take a picture of both of them later today, my camera batteries are charging cause I am going to sneak it in to the concert tonight. Sssh!

    Now I need to go to the post office, and get ready to go. We're leaving ultra early for several reasons. One, the concert is at the Ogden...Dy, Denny and Laura can attest to the parking situation there. Parking simply doesn't exist for miles around there...period.

    Second of all, we have to pick up Daniel's friend Craig's ticket at will call - always a madhouse. Thirdly, I know once we get inside the venue I will be "mom-all-alone", and I'd like to spend at least a little time with Daniel there. Also, these types of bands are notorious for hanging around the lobby. Fun place to get a t-shirt signed or something. Lastly, the concert is General Admission, so we don't want to be in the nosebleed section. (ooh, maybe that's what happened to my mom, maybe she went to a concert and got there late - and didn't tell us, ya think?). Hee.


    I said I'd walk you home
    After our third round
    Of pouring whiskey down
    The barrel of our guts
    Grab hold of your hand
    We're up and we're out and
    We're yelling through the streets
    And I'm out of my fucking mind...

    Your patient's dead, and you killed him.

    That was the theme of tonights skill set. Tricking us, trapping us with confusing symptoms, and just out and out giving us false information. I, personally only killed one person, thankyouverymuch. I had forgot my contraindications and gave a chest pain patient nitroglycerin, which lowered his already too low blood pressure and he keeled. Bah.

    Things are really gearing up on skills nights. We had a mondo amount of scenarios thrown at us in small groups, and got yelled at a lot. But that's ok, we need it. We're taking too long, we're missing things, we're forgetting things. We're 8 weeks away from taking the National Licensing Exam, for crying out loud. We have to have this down or we are so screwed.

    And I'm LOVING it!

    I love figuring out the problem given a minimal amount of symptoms. I love talking to the "patients" (other students, actually) and building the rapport and making them feel better, safer, and healthier. I love the feeling I get when it "clicks"- when the signs and symptoms come together in my head and I know what to do, and I do it and it works. Yee haw.

    In other news, mom's nose is still dribbling. She will go in on Sat to have them remove the packing and see what's going on. Hope for a good outcome, would you?

    The kids are off school tomorrow. Goodbye blissday.

    PS - next weeks skill set is emergency childbirth. Whee!

    10.09.2003

    Two hours and 45 minutes in the dentist chair. gah.

    I'm heading for the couch. Don't call me.

    Yesterday was nuts.

    We went out to lunch with my mom, and that was fun. Denny's for some yummy and cheap breakfast. After we got home I'd settle in on the couch for just a bit when my mom calls and says she has a nosebleed that won't stop. I gave her some instructions that we'd learned about stubborn nosebleeds, but 15 minutes later she calls and says it's not working and she wants to go to Kaiser's clinic, but doesn't think she should drive there. I went ahead and packed up all my school stuff before I went over to get her, and it's a good thing cause we didn't get out of there till 6:30!!

    I really wasn't prepared for the scene at her house. There was a lot of blood all over the kitchen and her nose was really gushing. Grossing you out yet?

    Anyway, long story short...it never would stop bleeding. The doctor finally resorted to packing her nose tightly with medicated gauze, a last resort because she's on oxygen and this would block one whole side of her nose. She seemed to be doing ok late last night, tho it was still dripping a bit, even through the tight gauze. I felt so bad, what a nuisance to have to go through.

    I made it to class, an hour late - but no big deal. We were just reviewing for the midterm on Monday. She did inform us if we don't pass the midterm our grades wouldn't be high enough to take the National Boards on December 5. Ack. I'm confident tho, during the review we did last night, I knew every answer. Cross your fingers!

    Daniel's and my dads birthdays are both on Monday, so I might take the test during the afternoon class so I can be home that night. Depends on what Daniel wants to do, I suppose.

    Today is going to be a blur. Dentist at 10, which will probably be 2 hours. Daniel's school conferences at 3, then school again. You know it - we all love it - there's nothing else like it!! It's skills night! No ambulance rides however, we're doing practicals on the defibrulator. CLEAR!

    Ok..enough Tom foolery. Time to go get ready for the Root Canal House of Fun.

    10.08.2003

    Thanks Spencer! I am so excited! The Saves the Day concert is this Friday, and I can't wait. And now this! Whee!

    I just opened a new pack of lighters and there is a warning on the package:

    Do Not Light Flame Near Your Face

    Now how theee hell am I suppose to light a cigarette if I don't light it near my face, for goodness sakes?

    10.07.2003

    I'm all for accomodations..but...

    This website has a bunch of products for plus and "supersize" (their word, not mine) folks. (My guess is that if they supersized a little less often, they wouldn't need the website's products.)

    Anyway, what makes me mad is anytime a company comes along that is "meeting the unique needs" of a certain population their shit is really really expensive! You can't tell me it costs that much more to make a supersized fannypack. $26!

    And this, for those "who have reach problems when using the toilet (when a bidet isn't available)." Um. Ok, I get it. So you can't reach under or around to wipe. And they want you to use this. Fine. Except that for $30 you can wipe yourself six times. And it's going to cost you $20 to replace those six sponge heads to wipe yourself another six times. That's costing you $5 everytime you poop. Unless you're washing these things off. Let's not go there.

    One more thing. If you're at a point in your life size-wise, that you need a Big Bib, it's really time to do something.

    I just love the spam I get. Sometimes, they are so proficient that I really do have to click into the email to make sure it isn't legit. One I just got said "I know all about you". Well, I found that a bit ominous so I clicked into it. Inside, the email said:

    "Make your penis larger than life and last all night"

    Well now. They don't know as much about me as they thought they did, now do they?

    One more. (First seen at hatamaran, btw).





    Now this is more like it.

    Extroversion results were high which suggests you are very talkative, optimistic, sociable and affectionate but possibly not very reflective.
    Very exactly true.

    Friendliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately good natured, trusting, and helpful.
    I can live with that.

    Orderliness results were low which suggests you tend to be unreliable, lazy, careless, negligent, and unmotivated.
    Ouch. My only complaint here is that I am not unreliable. I am extremely reliable, and if I've told you something will be done, or I will be somewhere at a certain time, you can be totally assured that it's done, or I'm there. And I am very punctual.

    Emotional Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and nervous.
    Yes, very emotional and worrying.

    Intellectualness results were medium which suggests you are moderately creative, original, curious, and imaginative.
    But you ain't REAL smart.

    Overall, you scored highest on Extroversion and lowest on Emotional Stability.
    No surprise there.

    Well, that was fun.

    Conscious self
    Overall self
    Take Free Enneagram Personality Test


    Interesting. As typical in online tests, some points are "spot on" and others seem offbase.

    I don't think I'm a protective parent, and in fact have been accused of the exact opposite, but I think I am a supportive friend. I feel like I am pretentious sometimes, and oftentimes my wit is more in-your-face than dry. The temper and callousness part is right on though.

    As for the other part, it's true I don't like to be alone, but I don't view myself as fearful. I am faithful in my relationships, but did not like school. I'm neither a conformist, nor an introvert. I am decisive, but would not be described as clean.

    So...there ya go. Now you do it.

    Perio de-bridement done.

    Doesn't that just sound like the funnest thing to do on a Tuesday morning? Perio de-bridement. Translated for all you lay folks out there, that means "let's get every nook and cranny poked with a instrument sharp enough to scrape the white off of rice." "Oh and when we're done with that we'll go up-up-up -yes- w-a-y up under your gums and poke the sharp thing up there too."

    In all, it wasn't so bad..in truth because of the nitrous. Whee. Except at one point where someone's child (who had been thoughtlessly left to wander around the office while negligent mom has her teeth worked on) decided to toddle in and stand 4 inches away from my face to watch. Oh yes, you know I said something..immediately. Nipped that annoyance right in the bud, thankyouverymuch.

    So now I go back Thursday to start the real work. ppfftt.

    We got out late late from school last night. The teach is trying to wrap up the rest of what we need to know before the midterm on Monday. 200 questions covering 24 chapters. Don't even talk to me about it. I'm frrreeakin out! I went over the exam review last night tho and was surprised at how much I knew off the top of my head, without even hearing the multiple choices.

    So now today I will spend my morning at the dentist. Last night big hair girl and I were wishing we could take our EMT books with us more places to study. Thing is, they are BIG and ORANGE (I mean really big, and REALLY orange) and have a picture of a big red fire truck on the front and the word EMERGENCY!! splashed across it. It's not very discreet, and actually might as well have lights and sirens on it.

    Plus, it doesn't really say it's a textbook so we look like we could be reading the biggest trivia book ever about the old show "EMERGENCY". Johnny Gage, remember? (See, toldja I've wanted to do this forever. lol)
    She's going to some conference today for her work and was lamenting about how she couldn't bring it to read cause it was too big and too obvious. I won't be bringing it to the dentist, either.

    Ok, time to get Emma too school and get myself to the torture chamber, I mean the dentist.

    10.06.2003

    Promo Guy's Monday Mission


    1. If you were to go on a diet (not that you should, babe, you look marvelous), which of the "fad diets" sounds the most appealing to you?


    Actually I just bought a program that I am going to try. It seems balanced, and it makes sense. I'm not going to tell you what it is.

    2. I only ask, because with the holidays coming up, there will be a lot more food in our house than usual. It tempts me. Maybe if I exercise I can loose some now, and eat then and have it all balance out. Do you get much exercise?

    The only exercise I get is at school, which is minimal, plus I seem to do a lot of walking here and there.

    3. When I was walking the other night, I noticed a rent house was being cleaned out by the landlord. Apparently the owners just took the essentials and left a lot of junk in the house. The owner had stacked piles of junk on the lawn for the sanitation collectors. But I noticed several things in that mess that maybe I could use (like a gas powered hedge trimmer). I may still go back some dark evening. Have you ever raided someone's junk pile that was left out for the garbage truck? Or gone dumpster diving? What did you find?

    Have I ever raided someone's junk pile? You mean today? heh. I am the queen of trash/treasure.

    4. Also in that same dumpster was the most awful shade of bright green carpet you've ever seen. Seriously, you wouldn't believe it if I showed you (and I will try to get a photo). Do you have any memories of ugly carpeting in your home or someone else's?

    I've had a lot of ugly carpet.

    5. As summer draws to a close, it means fewer outside chores. One I won't miss at all is mowing the lawn! What summertime chores will you be glad to see go away for the winter months?

    Well, I am completely anti-outdoor as far as chores go. I don't mow, garden, landscape, plant, seed, weed, cultivate, or anything vaguely resembling such things. I hate it with a passion, and have no desire to do it ever. ever. ever. It's the worst thing I can imagine doing.

    6. Of course, it is hard to mention fall without at least touching on football. Do you have a(ny) favorite football team(s)? Do you and your family root for the same teams to win?

    Sorry, I'm anti-football too.

    7. I will be heading to Anaheim next month to stay a few days for a convention. It would be great to meet up with some Bloggers, but I just don't know many out there. If you were to visit California, are there any Bloggers you'd like to meet up with? (And if you are in California, then who would you like to come see you!)

    Hmm, I don't know. I read a lot of blogs, but I always forget where they are from. The only two bloggers i can think of that are in Cali are jhames and AJ, and I have no desire to meet either. (That's not a dig, we just have absolutely nothing in common). Besides, there are too many other fun things to do in Cali.

    BONUS: Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true on the land or on the sea?

    Definately on the sea.

    Has been a "catch up" type of morning - making calls here and there, getting a few snail mail things tidied up, and now it's about time to go run some errands. Emma had a great day at school, they had a substitute cause apparently Mrs. B hurt her knee. Dunno anything about that, we'll have to see what the poop is. Now that the initial get to know you phase of kindergarten is over, I'm going to volunteer in the classroom on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, as soon as I get all cleared through the district. Seems no one can just step in and volunteer willy-nilly, you gots to be officiamagated. Emma's teacher said probably next week she'd be having parental unit volunteers.

    I have also heard through the proverbial grapevine, that like SQ's sons school, (Sept 23) our district may go to a "NO home made treats" protocol in the future. I'm a bit on the fence about that one. We'll see what happens. As it stands now, tho..we're good to go for home-made treats for halloween.

    I think Emma's halloween party will be a lot of fun. I have one activity, and one game planned. The rest of the time they can just run around and be crazy kindergartners, which is all they will want to do anyway. I have a BUTTload of parents volunteering to help and to make stuff, so I shouldnt have to do much expect for the halloween shaped sugar cookies I have planned. I got a check from the school that helps cover some of the expenses, I thought that was really nice.

    Tomorrow begins the awful string of dentist appointments I will be having for the next gabillion months. I have 4 root canals and 4 crowns to get done, plus a deep periodontal cleaning, and a tooth whitening session. The cleaning is tomorrow, and my dentist has "thrown in" the tooth whitening session for free at the end of all my work. ($330 worth, whee!) My saving grace is the nitrous is "offered at no extra charge"..which I take full advantage of every.single.time. It's so nice. Put the mask on...drift a little, and it seems that my 3 hour root canal is done in 5 minutes. I LOVE it. Nitrous oxide rocks. I even have my own personal mask, isn't that funny? They give everyone their own after you ask for it a couple of times in a row.

    In all, all the work will end up costing me about $2400. I have to pay a certain amount everytime I go, which is nice. My office is always really good about letting me pay off a little at a time. I suppose the fact that I have gone there since before Daniel was born has something to do with it. It took me about 9 months to pay off Katie's $1200, but I did it, and paid every single month on time. That makes them more than willing to work with me in the future, yanno?

    Time to go get stuff done. Later all.

    Shamelessly lifted from the presurfer.


    Interesting article about blogging.
    Perseus Development Corp. randomly surveyed 3,634 blogs on eight leading blog-hosting services to develop a model of blog populations. The most dramatic finding was that 66.0% of surveyed blogs had not been updated in two months, representing 2.72 million blogs that have been either permanently or temporarily abandoned.

    In fact, 1.09 million blogs were one-day wonders, with no postings on subsequent days. Active blogs were updated on average every 14 days. Only 106,579 of the hosted blogs were updated on average at least once a week. Fewer than 50,000 were updated daily.


    Go read the whole article, it's fascinating.

    10.05.2003

    It's always nice to get the first meltdown of the week out of the way early...

    We told Emma weeks ago when we switched to dish that we would no longer be receiving Discovery Kids channel, home of "The Saddle Club"....she was totally fine about it. Now for some reason tonight, she has decided that this fact is completely and totally unacceptable. Nevermind that she has at least 25 channels of her own to watch whenever she pleases (well, 2 hours a day, anyway) and that she's only watched Saddle Club a couple of times anyway, usually favoring something else that was on at the same time. Gah.

    I was tempted to give her the one of the Saddle Club videos I have stashed away for Christmas, but decided against it, reminding myself that rewarding bad behavior is a mistake. So, we dealt with the meltdown, and now all seems fine. At least she didn't lose the Discovery Health Channel, can you imagine?! The horrah!

    I am still full...

    We all went to PF Ch*ng's for Amanda's brithday celebration this afternoon and it was yummmy. They bring your orders to you "family-style" and everyone just passes all the dishes around and takes a bit of this and a bit of that. Man, it was terrific. There was 9 of us, and it was quite lively. We had a great time. That is until my mom realized she was missing the Bronco game (an early one today, she was unaware) and then you could tell she couldn't wait to get out of there.
    I think she caught the last 5 minutes in the car or something. Amanda got some cool gifts and I think everyone really had fun.

    I need to go pull books, Mark is on his way home with Emma and there isn't usually a whole lot of actual work that gets accomplished the first few hours of her arrival. We'll listen to everything she did all weekend, everything mommy did all weekend, and etc., etc., etc.... It's charming conversation, tho.

    Last night was such a rip-roarin' bunch o fun. Mark and his friend M played pool for quite a while, and although I had warned him ahead of time not to leave me alone with M's wife for too long, it turned out fine because we got on so famously. We stayed out late late late and we were all sorry to lose each other's company. We laughed till we cried at some of the characters in the bar. There was one girl there that was a terrific singer, and she was really cool to listen to. Everyone else...well, you know.

    This place is such a dive, we were waiting for M and J to arrive and I asked Mark - "did you give them good directions?" He said "Yes, I told them it's right between the car wash and the Salvation Army." We had to laugh, knowing how accurately that describes the atmosphere inside and out of the bar. lol

    Since I was driving, Mark took that as his opportunity to tie one on pretty good, and he was so funny. Loud and obnoxious, singing along with the karaokers, and then slipping into the oh-so-common "I love you so much" stupor. We had so much fun and are really hoping we can connect with M and J again, cause we really...like...uh...have no friends.

    Ok, off to pull books and be productive. Whee.

    We're off to PF Chang's to celebrate Amanda's birthday. We woke up late and had about 20 mins to get ready to go. We are sooo draggin ass.

    We went out tonight with a friend of Mark's from his work and his wife. I'd never met either of them before, so of course it was one of those "well what are they like..?" "are they gonna think I'm weird?"

    Turns out his wife (J) and I had a ton in commen we spent the evening ignoring the boys and laughing our asses off. We went to the Red Lion again and people-watched till we nearly busted a gut from laughing. I hope we do something with them again, they were so so so fun.

    Mark, on the other hand had to be told to McSimmer down now a few times. Humph.

    It's late, we're tired. Off to bed.

    10.04.2003

    Slugville, USA. I haven't done shit all day.

    I am taping Real Women Have Curves, that's about as ambitious as the day has gotten. Mark is in the middle of a "deal" so he won't be home for a while, probably just in time for me to head to the hills to pick up Daniel. After I get back from there, we're gonna go get some dinner and maybe find something fun to do. We talked about going to see Terry Pratchett at the Tatt^%ed Cover Bookstore, but the timing didn't work out with Mark's schedule.

    I love having our Saturday nights free, and I love that Mark is always just up for anything. I never have to talk him into going out..or staying in. His attitude is always "whatever you want to do sounds good to me." And we always have fun, no matter what we find to do.

    I'm feeling over-the-top lucky and in love today. I have the most considerate, generous, sexy man. And he's head over heels for me too. That's the best part.

    I'm hot. I hate this time of year because in Colorado you change clothes at least 3 times in one day. It's cold in the mornings, it heats up in the afternoon and then when the sun goes down it's cold again.

    Funny, that like Dy we've been reading tons of stuff about cerebral palsy, as the therapist at Emma's school thinks she may have it. We're so lucky that we have the internet these days, to instantly fill our minds with information, and answer so many questions with just a "click".

    Reading the signs and symptoms, it surprises me that no phycisian has ever mentioned it or had her tested for it before. Along with her lack of certain muscle control, the bowel and bladder problems mirror a lot of Emma's struggles. I find myself sitting here reading, nodding my head saying "yup, yup, that's her". At least by maybe putting a label on it, she can finally get some appropriate treatment and accomodations.

    The good news is that cerebral palsy doesn't get "worse," although many secondary conditions can arise because of the CP, and they could get worse over time. For example, decreased motor function is a "condition" of cp, and is the most prevalent condition to deteriorate over time, particularly after growth and development has stopped and maturity has been reached. That means there would be very few small children with mild CP in wheelchairs, but many will become wheelchair bound after age 14-17, though vigorous physical therapy has shown to delay or prevent marked decrease in muscle deterioration.

    Emma seems to have very mild symptoms, and seems to respond very well to physical therapy. That's a great sign. She's made so many physical improvements since this time last year, and that's really encouraging.

    Some interesting facts:
    Premature children that are found to have CP are typically diagnosed around age 6.
    More people have CP than any other developmental disability.
    Doctors frequently use Botox in pharamcological CP therapy.
    Children with a largely sedate lifestyle are more apt to suffer decreased muscle performance over time.

    ...and the most daunting statistic:
    President Bush has cut the NIH's Cerebral Palsy research budget by more than 60% in the past 2 years.

    Idiot.

    If you get drunk and pass out, your friends might just do this to you. Funnnny!

    Seen first at..where else..the presurfer.

    ______________

    I just woke up. What a nice lie-in. Mark had to get up early and go to work by 8, I felt so sorry for him, he did not want to get up. He hit the snooze several times, until he had to rush to get ready.

    I need to take Daniel to his dads, and tidy the kitchen today. It's scawwy messy. RIght now tho, I'm just sipping some java-yum-and seeing what you all have been up to since yesterday.

    10.03.2003

    Oh man, I am so full I am not going to eat for 12 days.

    Mark and I met at Chili's after he got off at 9, and we ate like fiends. It was nice though, I had been such a slug all day, it was fun to get out among the living adults.

    Tomorrow I don't really have anything planned, Mark works during the day so I will have the day to myself for the most part, then maybe we can do something at night.

    We're heading for the couch. See ya there.

    I really do have laundry going, and have found some motivation to tidy up here and there. Listening to some old big-hair band tunes, and remembering some {heh} really fun times.

    You know I never
    I never seen you look so good
    You never act the way you should
    But I like it
    And I know you like it too
    The way that I want you
    I gotta have you
    Oh yes, I do
    ...

    I don't think I mentioned anything about the hearing yesterday. Mark and Dy are finally officially divorced. What a relief for everyone. It's just been hanging around like a dark cloud for so long, and no one really had the intiaitive to do anything about it. It became a point of contention for Mark and I more than once. He'd frequently talk about topics that had some sort of permanent committment attached, and I always had this wall up, saying "talk to me when you aren't married anymore". Getting married, buying a house, etc. I just wasn't willing to even entertain the concept while he was still married. Now it's opened up a lot of opportunities and possible responsibilties.

    The hearing itself was dry and appropriately formal. Dy posted that she had/has some residual annoyances about it, and I'll be honest and say they're present here too. But all in all, it's blatantly amicable and things can only improve from here on out.

    So now what? Who knows. Maybe we'll get married, maybe not. Maybe we'll buy a house. (That's more likely - lol)
    I would have no problem buying a house with Mark, I believe we will be together for a long time. And it makes sense. I'm not sure that getting married makes as much sense. There's definate pros and cons. The main issue I see with that is the additional authority and responsibility to Emma, and I'm pretty comfortable right now in the position I already hold with her, and I think she is too. Being her stepmother would be markedly different, I think. I don't know, I haven't really thought it through completely. And besides, no one's officially asking. Yet.

    My blissday is going along hummingly. I've done literally nothing, except sit on the couch with my remote and get caught up with "Starting Over". I love having 3 hours of the same show to watch, and being able to watch it in 90 minutes, cause I can zoom through the commericials at lightening speed. Is anyone else watching this show?

    Ok, I really really am going to go put laundry in. No, really.


    Happy Birthday Amanda!!!!

    Amanda is 22 years old today. I can't believe it! I won't! I'm NOT that old!




    We watched Vivor late last night, because of school. If you're a Survivor fan, were you on the edge of your damn seat?

    Morgan needed to win sooo badly. Their spirits are totally crushed, they are weak and seem to have lost all hope. Up till now I had been rooting whole-heartedly for Drake, but I've switched camps. First of all, I have a big crush on Andrew. I love to listen to him talk, and he really seems to be the rock holding Morgan together. And seeing him walk around with just his suit jacket on and no shirt is so damn sexy. Raarrr!

    Peachy had to twist the knife a little at tribal council. "You guys are the losingest team ever on Survivor." Then Lil was voted out, and now we are thankfully Scoutmaster free. Was she getting pitiful or what? If they lose again they have to vote off Dara - her accent is giving me nightmares. Twang twang, doh doh, golleee.

    I love the aspect of the reward winning team getting to go over and steal from the losing team. I just wish Morgan would win something for once. Looks like next week Drake wants to throw the competition. One member said "Yea, it's nice winning all the time, but we want to get rid of some people.." Getting Rupert to not win a competition could be really difficult tho, that man is possessed.

    ANYway. It's blissday, dontcha know? But no lazing around for me. I have got to get caught up on laundry, and (gasp!) we are out of coffee creamer.

    10.02.2003

    Oh. right.

    What I said about skills night? Forget that. SKills night rocks.

    We spent 2 and a half hours tonight riding around in the back of an ambulance with lights and sirens while pretending we were getting vitals on a patient. Sheer unadulturated insanity. Up and down Wadsworth and all around W**tm@#ster Mall. "Woo Woo Woo!" - Damn that thing is loud.

    We were laughing, we were bonking our heads, we were watching our notebooks fly across the floor. And then more laughing. We were bouncing off our seats, literally airborne.

    Actually, my favorite part..was riding up front. For some reason, whenever I've actually formed a mental pictuire in my head of what it might be like to be a paramedic, I always picture myself driving. Isn't that weird?

    I'm getting so excited. Clinicals are days away. That means ride alongs in ambulances, and hours in the ER at St. A&th%ny C*ntral. It's not like tagging along watching someone else work. We have actual duties, that are really really important. This is like, real life.

    We had a short lecture tonight and talked about bedside manner. We talked about how scared the patients are, and how to not scare them. How to use code words and phrases to communicate to the driver that the situation in back has taken a drastic turn for the worse or they need to pull over, etc. without the patient becoming alarmed. To try to convey to the patient through your confidence and your demeanor that this is no big deal.

    We have a class of about 40 people, I think. When asked, none of us had ever been inside of an ambulance before, except maybe on Fire Truck Day in 1st grade. That showed us how monumental it is for these people to be in an ambulance. That this is likely that absolute worst thing that has ever happened to them in their entire lives. Think about it..if a friend of yours had a story about how he almost died and got rushed to the hospital in an ambulance, you'd probably listen to it pretty intently.

    And trauma. Trauma is a whole 'nother realm. As a paramedic, you of course wouldn't see acute trauma and mass casualty scenes too often. But they do happen, and they're freak as hell...from what I can tell. Our main teacher said to us all once that if we've come this far, we won't be the kind of people to freak out. That when we are standing in the road with a victim's leg in our hand, we won't freak out but at it look really close - the bones, the tendons, the msucles..and think "wow, that is cooool!" I can't wait to see it all.

    Last night we had a speaker who came in just to answer questions. He is an ER Tech at a hospital, and volunteers for local rescue too. He was kind of psyching us up for clinicals. Telling us not to be shy, and tell your preceptors (ride-along mentor) that you want to see and do everything. He said he was on his first clinical and got to "hot unload" a helicopter patient. Wow. A lot of us were talking tonight in small groups and me and the big hair girl and some other nice folks were talking about how petrified we are of looking unexperienced and stupid in front of seasoned paramedics, and most of all..patients. Were patients going to look at us and say "uuuhh...you don't know what you're doing..do you. - HELP!" And here they are in the freakiest point in their whole lives and they have some green wannabe attempting to help them.

    Anyway, I'm so wired up from riding around. Riding in the back and trying to stabilize or save a patient is near impossible. You can't hear anything in a stethoscope, you can't concentrate on blood pressure, because you are bouncing like a mofo. Granted, they were giving us worse case scenarios, and most rides are smooth and swift.
    When I was sitting up front I was talking to my favorite skills coach - she was driving. She was pumped that I wanted to eventually drive. She loves driving and her and I are a lot alike anyway. She's larger than life, and everyone loves her as a coach. She's really hard and will not let you slide on one damn thing. She never gives us breaks, and for a 4-hour class, that's a long time. They always want us to feel like what it's like to be frantically trying to help someone when you're really, really tired.

    And now I'm really really tired.

    I wonder what Laura will think of this.

    Well, Dy's asleep on the couch, Mark's in bed and all is right with the world. Tomorrow is a big day, as they will finally be divorced. A source of strain for a l-o-n-g time will finally come to an end. I originally thought that I wouldn't go to the hearing, but Mark has expressed that he would like me to go, and I don't see any reason not to. They've already clarified all the details, it should just be a simple swish of the pen or two. Afterwards, we're going out for Indian. Masala and Kashmirri for ALL! Anyone want to come? We'll be at the Taj Mahal on Old Golden Road. I'll be the cute chubby blonde with a mouthful of Naan.

    Class really wasn't all that horrible tonight. I'm getting pretty good at figuring out the nature of illness when we do our pretend scenarios. Before, they would tell us "ok, you're going on a shortness of breath call.." or "heart attack.." but now they don't tell us anything and we just have to figure it all out by our questioning and the signs and symptoms. Tonight everyone was stymied about this one patient, and me and one other girl were the only ones that recognized an amphetamine overdose. That was pretty cool. But then later, I felt really stupid when just 10 minutes before I was bragging outside to some other students that I didn't "need to review the Defibrillator station again, it's too easy"... then did my turn and when I was done, the instructor asked the class.."Ok, can you tell me what THREE things she did wrong..?!" ACK.

    In all, I feel pretty darn good about my level of knowledge and I'm confident I can do this, in real life. Mark laughs and rolls his eyes everytime we go out somewhere cause I will lean over and whisper "Gees, I wish someone would keel over or choke or something.."