I'm looking for that memo. The one that says folks (women?) in dusty southern Colorado towns don't have to blog anymore.

I actually am thinking about not blogging anymore myself. I've thought about tapering off, blogging once every 4 or 5 days or so...till I get completely out of the habit and abandon this rhetoric infested website completely. Why am I doing this anyway? Who cares? I used to think it was cathartic, but I don't even post anything gut wrenching anymore anyway. It's all fluff and filler. My life is pretty good...I don't have to sit and wallow in self pity and loathing on my blog, which is actually why it was created, hence the name. I needed a place to "get it all out" and spew venom if necessary, the kind I couldn't spew in public. I needed a place I could spill my anger out onto, and maybe learn from it. I think I did that.

I'm not funny, this space isn't thoughtful, I leave nothing here that is interesting or enchanting enough to keep up with...even for me. Much less for some poor sap who happens upon this nonsense. I feel ridiculously offended when no one comments, and then in the next breath I wish no one was reading this at all anyway. It started out as something I needed to do to feel better, and now it feels guarded and incredibly unnecessary.