Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...




You're probably here because I left a comment on your blogger site!

Sorry but this blog has been abandoned. I have a new blog which you can visit by hitting that link over there on the right. See ya there!


Still working on the new place, it will be done by tonight, I think. I started over from scratch so it's a little time consuming, and time - I don't got.

Katie and I are headed off to church then I think Mark and I are going to go to Estes Park for the day. Some appointments and probably work tomorrow, I can't wait to finish training and get started driving on my own. I worked for 6 hours on Friday, and learned a lot. You wouldnt think there's that much to learn but there really is.

Have a good day all. Well not all. Some people deserve a really rotten day.


Am moving everything over to the new digs. Leave a comment here if you'd like the new url. I will verify your IP address and send you a note when I'm up and running. See you in a couple of days!

Don't worry, everything is peachy keen, and under control. Life is good!

Hi, remember me?

It's been a busy couple of days. I got a new car! Whee! Well not new of course, but new to me. It's fabulous and wonderful and it doesn't smoke, and it has heat, and I don't have to carry water around to fill up the radiator every 10 miles, and the rubber seal on the door isn't flopping down in my face, and the cruise control works, and and and it's great! It's a 98 Chev Prizm, and although I am anti-American car apparently this one is ok because it has a Toyota engine, says the man I love who knows...who is coincidentally the man with the ya go.

I love the place we bought it at, it was just a rinky dink little mom and pop type operation on West Colf*x - a place I usually avoid because I just don't trust them. But these guys were absolutely fabulous. There was none of the dickering and dinking around and bravado that we got at so many other big places. Mark never tells people he is a car salesman, but they know from his tone and his attitude, plus the buzz words that he uses that they are not dealing with an ignoramus. Over the past few days we have driven cars, loved them, sat down to deal and walked out, all within about 15 minutes. It pisses me off that you tell them right off the bat what you have to spend, and then they have you drive something - only to get you to the table and find out it is nearly twice as much. What the hell are they thinking?

So we found this car at, among several others we headed out to look at today. Mark took the day off (he's so damn sweet!) because the Taurus is dead dead dead. I can't even tell you how bad it was driving home from work (wow - I work!!) the other day. Getting another vehicle became an emergency, as I have to be able to get to work. I'm actually on call on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and could be called in at a moment's notice. I can't rely on the other folks in this house with wheels, cause Lord knows they're never home!!

So anyway, get this...they were asking 6998 and we got it for 3500. Yes, my man is a car salesman and I'm proud of it. He knows how to work these people and he knows what they're doing - in front of us and behind our back. But saying that, I gotta say that this car shop was probably the best experience I've ever ever had buying a car. We didn't have to play games with them at all.

So before all this wonderful car shopping I had to go down to the limo shop and pick up a paper that I needed to have to apply for my airport clearance. We took that out to the airport - (Side note - we saw no less than 8 cop cars on our short jaunt on Pena Blvd. Most of them already had folks pulled over. Do not mess around out there..!) Then we got the car, then I had to go for a DOT Certification physical - oh boy wasn't that just fun in a big fat bun?

First of all I had to pee in a cup. Fine. So I get in the bathroom and start "going" - completely forgetting about the cup. I'm like "Oh, shit, I'm supposed to be catching this!" lol. I managed to get a dribble in there - enough for them to tell me my sugar's a little high. No, really? Do tell....


I swear to god this is why I can't pass a polygraph. I must be so susceptible to the power of suggestion...

The doc goes to take my blood pressure (which has never ever ever been high) and says:

You know, other than the urinalysis, this is the only part of your physical that could prevent you from getting your certification"

dun dun dun. I could actually hear my blood pressure rising after that comment.

Puff puff puff puff - psssttt....puff puff puff..psssst - - he's looking at the dial, and I am too, because I know how to read the pressure, even if I'm not the one doing the listening. It's high. I guessed 150 over 90. He says 160 over 96. Damn.

It's too high to pass.

He decides to give me a few minutes to "calm down." Calm down? Have you ever ordered someone to calm down? If you want someone to become out of control, just tell them to calm down. Works every time.

When I took my first polygraph ever, I had nothing - I mean nothing to worry about. I had interviewed for a local sheriff's dept as a property clerk. I had been upfront with my interviewer about anything that could trip me up on a polygraph. He said "don't worry at all. We know most people have done pot, and other drugs. We know people steal from their jobs. - we just want you to be completely honest. If you answer honestly, you'll pass - no matter what you are saying yes or no to, unless it's something that could be considered a felony."

Great. I got nothin to hide. Let's get this over with, and then show me my desk.

Is this your real name? yea. Are you a fugutive? no.

Then. He totally fucked me up. He stopped the machine for a second and said:

"Are you trying to regulate your breathing?"

Uuuhhh. Well, I wasn't...till you said that.

At that moment my every thought was consumed with my breathing. I was hyper sensitive to every inhale and exhale. Each breath became suspect, even to myself. Am I regulating my breathing? No, I am breathing normally. I smoke, I always breathe this way. lol.. - And what is regulating your breathing, anyway?

Immediately my breaths became shallow. Then drawn out. Then absent. I could barely hear the questions. Iiiinnnnnnn ouuuuttttt. Iiiinnnnn ouuuutttt. Chest rise and fall. Equal breaths. AM I breathing? I'm not sure. Yes, I am. I am forcing myself to breathe. Forcing yourself to breathe is as effective as forcing your stomach to digest. It's part of your autonomic system. (thank you EMT school) - It just happens.

More questions.

Have you smoked pot? yea. Taken items homes from work? sure. More than 500 dollars worth? no.

He stopped again. "You are not breathing normally. You have to relax and breathe normally."

When someone commands you to breathe normally, you can do anything but.

More questions. - - Have you exported drugs out the country? haha, no. Have you ever worked undercover for the military? mmm, lemme think..nope. Ever committed a felony? not yet.

So then it was over and he said I failed. "It appears you are lying about your military history and whether or not you have exported drugs out of the country."


I told him - "I'm anti-military and I haven't been out of Colorado for 17 years, since I was 16 years old, and I've never even been out of the country.

But it didn't matter. A fail is a fail is a fail. I took 2 more tests on different days with the same guy, for the same job. They really wanted me. But I kept failing. I could not get the thought of breathing normally out of my head. I've taken 6 polygraphs all together over the years, and failed every single one. Thank God none of them were for something I was suspected of doing and didn't do. I'd be in prison wearing my hair in a mullet and calling my roommate "sweetheart".

So the long away around this topic is that the doc took my blood pressure four times, after repeatedly telling me to relax - and calm down. Finally he got a reading that was a teeny tiny smidge under the wire. Not enough for my certification, but enough for a 3 month temporary "stay", and I have to go back and retest in April. Pass the Valium.

I rode with Mark tonight to Fairplay to show dydy the new wheels. She loved em, of course. I know she chewed on her fingernails nearly as much as I did about that damn Taurus.

I am driving the big cars again tomorrow, with another driver - more training. This time we will have a real passenger tho. I'm actually doing two runs to the airport, and one is to pick up someone who's been in the news. Ack. I can't ever ever ever say who's been in the car.

But...damn I bet this guys shoes are big. I wonder if we're taking him to a hotel - or to court.

Mark laughed when the dispatcher called cause I was writing down what my assignment was and I said "what's that passengers name again?" She repeated it. I had to clarify - I was thinking to myself "I can't be hearing this right..." - "um...could you spell that?" I think I ended up asking her 3 times.

So this has been my wonderful exciting day. I have a lot more to talk about, but it's late and I'm beat.

By the way - if you see me driving around in my new Prizm wheels, stick out your thumb and I'll pick you up. We'll turn on the cruise control and the heat, and go get a slurpee.

PS - Amanda's husband Justin got a huge raise today...nearly 20%. This will be such a turning point for them, they've budgeted really well, but still have hit a few bumps in the financial road. Yay Justin!

And one more thing - - Katie is the greatest greatest ever. She cleaned my bathroom - spit shine style and even scrubbed the floor behind the toilet on her hands and knees. Thanks SOO much Katie!

No you can't have her. Get your own.


What did you do all day? I drove to the airport in this...


I have really bad cramps - no not from that just from nerves. I'm all bungled up inside, nervous about starting something new and about the actual driving. I should have been in the shower already but I am stalling. At this rate I will be rushing around trying to get out of the house, and I hate doing that.

Mark is going in to work late because we could not find a suitable place for Emma to go this afternoon. Wemanaged to squeeze the time she would need looking after into only and hour and a half, but that didn't avail itself any options, regardless.

She came into our room this morning at 7:30 and said "I'm lonely." Mark said "You're lonely because everyone is sleeping. It's too early to get up - go back to bed for a while." And she did. Lovely. Her days are all messed up this week, I guess because of the MLK holiday on Monday. She's been asking several times today.."do I have school today? do you have work today? I don't have school tomorrow, right?" No matter how many times we keep telling her, 'no school today - school tomorrow' she's still seems to be off-kilter. Funny how little ones feel that same confusion we feel in a holiday week. We think they just flit about, and every day is just like the next - but they really do feel it when something is amiss.

Ok, I will go shower now.

PS - Cindi or Laura, if you'd like me to put my Starting Over recordings on VHS and send you a weeks worth, I would be glad to do that.


The 2004 Bloggie awards are imminent (I know, who gives a flying rats ass) but I would like you to go vote, if only to make sure that Wil Wheaton and dooce do not win.

Mark and I left the house at 10:30 this morning, and didn't get home until nearly 9pm! We went car shopping, and then more car shopping. I'm telling you these car salesmen are a sleazy bunch. We had it out with one guy that Mark got really angry with and we stormed out. "Slam!" Mark's always been a gunner for car salesmen, but now that he is in the biz I guess he is super critical.

We found a few we liked, but are still kicking tires. I am going to attempt to drive my car downtown tomorrow - I'm just going to leave early and pull over if I need to. I'm looking forward to getting behind the wheel of a shiny white stretch limo and creaming some compact cars. ha!

Then he took me to class. I think it will be ok, but there is a LOT to learn - considering this class is only 6 weeks. My head was spinning for about an hour, then the penny dropped and it seemed that things clicked into place. I just will have to be ultra diligent to stay caught up. One week of slacking will put me hopelessly behind.

We have one lady in our class that already knew everything, I'm not sure what she's doing there. Then we have a guy in our class I will call the llpof because he is a liar liar pants on fire. When we all went around the room with our introductions he said he used to be an EMT in Las Vegas. But when the teacher was lecturing, he didn't know what tachycardia was, which is an abnormal heart rhythm that EMT students learn practically on the first day and deal with ALL the time. Mark even knows what tachycardia is, just from quizzing me and listening to me babble on about classes previously. THEN - man, what an idiot...He asked the teacher "how do you find the diastolic and systolic on the EKG?"

There was like 20 seconds of dead silence and the teacher looked like he thought he might be on Candid Camera.

"Um, the diastolic and systolic rate is blood pressure which you gauge from a sphygmomanometer, (BP cuff). There is no way to indicate blood pressure from an EKG strip."


People, people. If you're going to lie to strangers, at least pretend you are a "something" that you know something about.

Mark had taken me to school, so when he came to pick me up he had Emma, who was buckled in her car seat, but asleep in a horizontal position. Not just her head was flopped over, but she was completely bent at the waist and snoring like Rip Van Winkle. We went to Westm*nster Mall where I picked up the necessary clothing items that I need for driving. A nice black jacket, and a white shirt. I already have black pants and a short black skirt, but I got a long black skirt too, so I can have some variety in the monotony, if ya know what I mean. I went to L*ne Bryant (mostly because that used to be my last name...Bryant, not Lane) - lol. No , I went there because I didn't want something that was going to come apart at the seams in two weeks. Even tho I'm wearing a 14 in most things lately, if I'm wearing a button up blouse, I need about a 16-18 because of "the girls out front", and I found a lot to choose from there. Not arc prices, to be sure...but good quality stuff that will last, I think.

And here's another fun little "hey I've lost some weight" story. The other night I was at Target and they were closing out a bunch of hosiery. I'm gonna neeeed some hosiery. They had pairs of N* N*nsense for .37 and .47 each! Unfortunately, all they had were size "B". Now, I've worn size Q (we don't really need to say what that stands for do we?) for about oh, 35 years. But I bought ALL the "B"'s they had anyway - you know how you do..."hmm someday maybe I could fit into these....I better buy them cause they are a great deal..." (It's a gender specific shopping quirk, men - don't even try to understand.)

But on Sunday when Katie and I went to church I tried some on and they fit.just.fine! Not even snug. Whee! I'm not a Q! I'm not a Q! How damn fun is that.

Ok, well it's time to go fire up the PVR and see what Oddrey and the rest of the Starting Over house are up to today. It's getting sooo juicy! Everyone is mad at Oddrey and it's her graduation day! And believe it or not - Oddrey is being a bitch! Yes! It's true!

Have a nice night all!


I guess it's time to get the blog calendar up and current again. Lot's of stuff coming up. I start my EKG class tomorrow, it's only one day a week from 2-6pm, but my car is in such bad shape I can't drive it for more than a couple of miles before there is smoke or steam or whatever billowing out madly from under the hood. Doesn't someone just have a car laying around that I could use for a couple of weeks? hmm?

Mark is going to have to take me to class tomorrow, and hopefully get the leak patched while I'm at school - it's getting worse and bigger by the day. Then Wednesday I have to go train on the big cars at the Limo job for about 4 hours in the afternoon..not sure about the best way to get downtown that day if the car is ppfffttt. I will figure something out. Also have to find care for Emma that afternoon till Daniel gets home from school. Yay.

Lots of stuff going on. Meh.

Kind oif a busy day. I had to go pick up Emma down south about 45 minutes away, and I didn't trust my car to go so Cindi took us. Katie came too and after we got Emma we all went to the Container Store. Oooh, fun place. Some stuff was pricey, but some was a fair deal. I got a few little things, not much.

Now we're waiting for Mark to get off work so we can meet him for dinner. We wanted Cindi to come too but she is tied to doing her cat thing at a certain time of day and we couldnt really make it work out for everyone. She has to wait while one of them eats and then give it a shot and drain it's little incision thingie. Gah! I promise we will go again soon, Cin!

I am going to the Limo co on Wednesday afternoon to get some drive training. I have to get a white blouse and black jacket by then. Meh.

Ok, I gotta go. More later gators.

I have two cats that basically up until now have refused to acknowledge that the other existed.

Our original cat Schatze is umm...a bit of a loner. He's not a regular cat-type cat, he's aloof and perterbed most of the time. (Well now that I say that it does sound like a regular cat-type cat -'s different). He doesn't appreciate any attention, he doesn't purr, and I'm pretty sure he'd be happiest if we all moved away and left him here in the neighborhood on his own.

Then we got Marla who is a bit more personable and playful. She is a very communicative cat, and will actually come and meow at you and lead you to something she wants. (Like the front door, or her empty food bowl)

Marla had established herself as Alpha as soon as she got here. We worried at first if Schatze would be mean to a new kittie, but Marla took over immediately and seemingly laid down the law for Schatze. Up till now they've basically ignored each other.

But now all of the sudden they are interacting all the time, and I'm not sure if they are playing or fighting. One or the other will give chase, and then when they corner the other they both start swiping at each other. Sometimes balancing themselves on their back legs and boxing like kangaroos. Sometimes there is hissing involved, mostly not. They do this for long periods of time, nearly every day now. Chase chase chase, box box box. More chase. More box.

So I'm asking the cat people out here - are they fighting or playing? And why now?


We're getting ready to head out to the Little Bear to see Cindi's friend in Firefall, so I only have a minute. (Hey it takes quite a while to look this mediocre)

No driving today, it just didn't work out because the guy that was taking me driving didn't have any runs tomorrow and decided to take off to the mtns for a short get-a-way. No problem.

Church was great. We liked it there. Good message. Really young pastor, but we liked him a lot.

More later, hope you are having a good weekend!



Mark and I just had an hour long discussion about umm..everything. We realized that we needed to start making some schedules and lists - I needed to know exactly what to offer the limo company as far as time available, so we went through the calendar so I would have something comprehensive to present. At first we thought maybe day care for Emma would have to be arranged for Wednesdays, but I've actually got so much other time available to offer them, I think I will just leave Wednesday as my "can't work at all" day. I'm not sure what time I'm supposed to show up there tomorrow, the lady that I'm meeting with asked me to call her after church. I'm so excited! She said they are desperate, and turning away runs because they don't have enough drivers available. Whee!

Then, we had to switch to vacation-talk mode. We're planning on going to the UK this summer, and there's already a lot of things that need to be in motion. People need passports, and we need to decide on dates. So we had to sit down and come up with a timeline that certain tasks need to be done by. I'm such a damn retentive idiot when it comes to planning stuff like this. I don't like to plan an itinerary for the actual trip, but I do like to micro manage the travel plans - I just don't like any surprises there.

I had lunch with my mom after my test today - that was nice. We sat for a long time - you know like when you've already paid your bill and the waiter has come back twice after that to see if you need

Katie and I are trying yet another church tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this one - but we'll see. Then, depending on how long the limo company (I gotta think of a better nickname - I dont want to name them of course) wants to keep me, I might be able to go to the Little Bear with Cindi. Wow! So much going on and it's all FUN FUN FUN!


The Limo company just called. Im in like flynn. I go in tomorrow for training, and a run to the airport to get started on getting my airport clearance or whatever. He said they have a pickup in Philadelphia next weekend for an Aston Martin that needs to be brought to Denver and wants to know if I would be clear to do that if everything worked out. Wow!!! I'm ffreeeeakin out!

It's over!

It wasn't hard and I'm pretty sure I passed. We'll see if I did in a few weeks.

Daniel and I are headed to target in a bit. Zzz. Really all I want to do is nap for a while. I stayed up late late and then had to get up early.

Later gators.


Blah blah blah. I can't study anymore, I'm not retaining anything anyway. I'm just gonna have to wing it and hope for the best. I start reading something and within 2 minutes my mind is drifting away..

"Verification of endotracheal tube placement should be completed in all intubated patients, and reconfirmation of endotracheal tube position should be..."
la la la oh lookie, bright shiny things over here...

"A foreign body may partially or completely block a victim's airway limiting or stopping the flow of air to the lungs. A choking victim who..." la la la hey did I turn the oven off?

See what I mean? It's just not working.

And besides trying not to study, there isn't much else going on.


My mom wrote and said that my cousin Paul Jr. had died today. He's from my dad's side, in North Carolina. I haven't been to see those folks in about 20 years, but I remember a few things about Paul Jr. He was disabled, I believe he had cerebral palsy, (Edit - my mom thinks it was polio...)it was fairly pronounced. He'd been in the hospital lately, at Christmas my dad showed me a recent newspaper article that he was featured in, and he was in the hospital then.

He was 57, and from what I've read and some folks I've talked to today, that was a ripe old age for someone with his condition.

I always really liked Paul Jr. and had a bit of a soft spot for him. I felt bad that he had to be plopped so defenseless in the middle of that family that never seem to be able to all get along at the same time. There's a lot of love in that family, but there always was a lot of bad-mouthin' and dislikin' going on.

The one really strong memory I have of Paul Jr. is once when my family was there visiting and we went bowling. I got upset at my dad because I thought he was being too hard on Paul Jr. He was doing the best he could, and really we were all just there to play and have a good time and my dad was saying things to Paul Jr. like - "C'mon!! what was THAT?!" "What game are you playing ANYway?!" "Ohh, brother!!" Maybe he was kidding, but it didn't sound like it and I know I was crying.

I think I said something to my dad about how Paul Jr. was trying as best he could, then I went to sit away from my dad and near Paul Jr. and would tell him what a good job he did every time he threw the ball, even if he guttered it.

In my dad's defense, he's a different person than he was back then. He's a lot softer, kinder, and he would never make someone disabled or struggling feel bad for one second. He's always on the side of the underdog, and would give you his shirt if you needed it, then stand there and shiver and tell you he wasn't cold at all.

I'm sad and sorry that Paul Jr. died, but I'm glad too. I'm sure he's marveling at his new body that moves like he wants it to. That's the problem with cerebral palsy victims and the like. They've got it all "up there" but their body won't cooperate.

I bet he's doing somersaults, and making granny and papa (who've already been up there a spell) watch him run back and forth, making his legs work like he's wanted them to do for half a century.

Nite nite Paul Jr.

I know your life on earth was troubled
And only you could know the pain
You weren't afraid to face the devil
Were no stranger to the rain

Go rest high on that mountain
Son your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a-shoutin'
Love for the Father and the Son

Oh, how we cried the day you left us
Gathered round your grave to grieve
Wish I could see the angels' faces
When they hear your sweet voice sing

Go rest high on that mountain
Son, your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a-shoutin'
Love for the Father and the Son.

Go to heaven a-shoutin'
Love for the Father and the Son.

Go Rest High
~Vince Gill

I'm alive. Trying to study, but being restless and distracted. I don't feel good about this test at all.


I have a roast cooking and yooouuuu do nootttttt. Oh no you doonnnnntttt. lala lala lala.

We're going to eat when Mark gets home from Fairplay, around 8:45 or so. Other than that the day has been quiet and uneventful. Took a shower, went to the grocery store...studied a tiny bit. Whee - it's just a whirlwind of activity over here! Slow it dowwwwnnn!