Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...


Gonna add negro?! please. over there. He's great fun. It'll take the place of that mad hatter we can't stand anymore. Also added a link to a friend of mine, Phil (razor) who writes technical manuals for a living, and writes great articles for fun. Check out his "humorous columns" if nothing else.

This is mamselle inspired.

A- Animals: cat - schatze, rat - louie, 3 mice - picky aiwa and aitra, gerbil - tanya
B- Best Friend(s): mark, michele
C- Cohabitants: mark, katie, daniel and emma sometimes
D- Desire(s): security
E- Eye Color: hazel/turquoise with help
F- Favourite Foods: cookies, popsicles
G- Games: scrabble, catch phrase
H- Habits: bad ones
I- Interests: internet, reading
J- Job: Admin assistant
K- Kitchen...wonder or blunder? i have no idea
L- Languages: english, some ASL
M- Most valued possession: my hard drive
N- Name (named after?): an obituary
O- Outfit you love: my slinky purple nighty
P- Pizza toppings: cheese and more cheese
Q- Question asked to you the most: do you know where gail is?
R- Relationship: cohabitating nicely
S- Sport to watch: battlebots
T- Television show(s): six feet under, survivor
U- Unsavory characteristic: emotional
V- Video: life is beautiful, fargo
W- Webpage: ...constant disarray
X- Xylophone (or other instrument): piano, clarinet in HS
Y- Year born: 1962
Z- Zodiac Sign: gemini

We didnt watch the movie. Mark started working on the dryer, and now it's after 11 and I need to go to bed. No biggie, Im way tired. Guarantee I would have slept through it anyway, as usual.

Sent Amanda a $100 King Soopers card. She was thrilled. At least I know she's eating. lol. I wish I could talk my whole family into paypal'ing her some dough to bridge unemployment gap. She'll be getting a check, but not for a couple of weeks. I think she's got enough to get through August, but just barely.

Im not myself. Im a tired person. I gotta work one more day then I have 4 days off. Hallelujia.

We're getting ready to watch The Royal Tennenbaums. We have coffee ready too, but are both too hot to even think about it. I heard it was 102 when I left work today. Tomorrow is supposed to be much cooler. Man, I hope so.

Im uninspired. Things are perfect.

Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall
Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl.

Listening to "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"...what a great show. Good memories there..

We have sleeping rooms at work, and every time I go in there to have a nap I have the craziest dreams. I cant even remember what I dreamed today, I just remember waking up really freaked out about it. Last time I had a dream about Schatze getting hit by a car, only Schatze was wearing a little denim dress. Weird...

We're all getting increasingly excited about Six Flags. I have some great coupons, so it's not going to cost us $32.99 to get in, the posted price. Daniel and I are most excited about the new "Flying Coaster" that you lay down and ride in. Whee.

Started reading this today. Found a picture there that Laura would love.

Discarded CD art.

From same blog:

"this morning, chris drives me to work so he and the kid can have the car for the day. on the way, we spot a very, very large lady. we're talking like four hundred pounds large. and from the back seat, kurt says, 'you don't wanna see that'. and chris says, 'no, no i don't'. kurt elaborates: 'too fat'. and i decide to seize the moment and remind the kid that we don't say these things when people can hear us, because it hurts their feelings, and that's mean. and we ask him how he'd feel if somebody said something mean about him, and he replied, 'i'm not fat'. so chris asks, well, what if they said you were short? and the kid says, 'i'm not short, i'm five"....

Love that.

Gail's gone..Gail's gone..all is well when Gail's gone.

Seriously, I get 10X more work done and the day is so much more pleasant and tolerable when she's not here. Anne and I had decided to launch a "Get Gail Fired" campaign, but then decided that since she's gone at least 2 out of 5 work days, that maybe we better just watch out what we wish for.

Am loving this song and this CD. If you don't have it yet, I wanna know why. It's terrific.

But then you came around me
The walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me
And keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
Oh, you've made me trust

I've never felt like this before
I'm naked, around you
Does it show?
You see right through me and I can't hide
I'm naked, around you
And it feels so right...

"Naked" - ~Avril Lavigne


I need to be in bed. Kt just made cookies. hmm. better have just one first.

Gails off tomorrow. amen.

I had to take Sarah H. off the recommended list. I cannot possibly take one more day of her self righteous Me Me Look At Me attitude. It makes me want to retch. What possessed me in the first place?

We need information from our local government.

We need event information. We need watering restrictions advice. We need City Council meeting schedules. We need to be directed to cultural happenings.

We need to see who is trying to get a hooker.

Amanda says "Who in the world is Uncle Bob?"

Who is Uncle Bob? Only the bloggers blogger. Hideously popular, hilariously funny and a sincerely nice guy. We've passed emails several times, and he's personable and friendly...very sincere. You have to read Uncle Bob. Go back and read some of his archives too. See how long it takes you to really take a disliking to his wife. lol.

It's kelly's Two for Tuesday. Let her rip.

1. Describe one thing that is guaranteed to make you laugh - every time you see, hear or do it?
The "Fecal Vision" sketch on Saturday Night Live.. hilarious.

2. Give us an audio/visual description of your laugh - not that fake one you use around your boss and people who aren't actually funny, but your real laugh.
Hm, Im not sure. I think it's probably pretty unladylike and annoying. When I am really laughing, Im pretty sure I sound like a chicken.

Just sent Amanda off a little sumthin sumthin in the mail. She'll be happy.

Uncle Bob signed the guestmap, didja see? How cool is that. He's like practically famous. Thanks also to Alan and Amanda for signing, even tho ya'll aren't as famous...cept to me. lol.

Im at work, eating a pop tart that I stole out of Emma's drawer of snacks..and having my third big cup o'joe. Laundromat tonight. Someone please please offer to go for me, so I can go home and take my work clothes off and lay on the couch. hmm?

Watched my tape of the last 2 episodes of Frontier House. Good lord, those Clunes. lol. How much do you think that house cost? On the beach in Malibu..and those girls are bored. feh. What a great show, tho. Hope they're doing more. That was my summer reality tv fix. Almost time for vivor to start up again, I will be jonesin' till then!

Gail is slinking around. bleh.


Some booksale pics in this picture album.

oh my. Denny has signed the guestmap and now colorado is quite crowded. More, more!

I have to tell you about AJ. She works at the library, I don't know if she's a librarian, or a clerk. Big difference in the library biz, a lot of people don't know what it takes to be called a Librarian. It's not just the next step after shelver. And librarians make good money, from the salaries I see on the 'job openings' emails.

Anyway..AJ. Im almost positive she's not a librarian. I think she's been there a long time. I always see her behind the check out whatever that job is...

She's is absolutely nuts. She's so incredibly funny, everything that comes out of her mouth makes you laugh hysterically. She knows a lot about people. She's raspy and vulgar...but the look on her face when she's talking to you makes you want to tell her all your secrets. Her and I clicked since the first time we was like a mutual understanding of each other. She is so open and in line with everything I believe...about everything. looking at her - it doesn't really look like someone I would strike up a friendship with. But I've always liked AJ and we talk frequently in passing. But at the book sale, we're best buds. We keep saying we're gonna go out for a beer someday..

Gonna post some pics maybe tonight. Look for her pic there.

Kt posted hers on her blog:

Saturday, July 27, 2002
The TOP 10 THINGS you will never hear me say

10.) I love it when you don't shower.
9.) Let's drink vodka.
8.) Daniel, Im so glad to see you.
7.) Let's go to McDonalds
6.) No, I think I'll wait a couple years until I move out.
5.) I'll have a steak, medium rare.
4.) I love moths.
3.) I don't know what to do with all this money!
2.) I think I'm too skinny for this outfit.
1.) Are my teeth too straight?

My notary license is about to expire.

My application to renew has to be notarized. But there's no one else here that is a notary. So I am going to have to go elsewhere to get my notary application notarized.

Toner hell.

Rule #1 - Make sure you are using the toner for your machine. Toners for other copiers do not work.
Rule #2 - Dont take that strip of tape off until the toner is in place
Rule #3 - Saying "dont come over here" while you are trying to clean it up only entrances the entire office to come and see what you are doing.
Rule #4 - Even your friends wont tell you if you have toner on your face.

Oh goody. Sharon signed the guestmap. She was the first blog I started reading......w-a-y back when. I've had this blog for 17 months, and I started reading hers before I even started my own. *sniff.

Ok, it was kt that signed the guestmap, not Amanda. Bleh.

Mark's on his way to go get Emma, I hope it goes better than last Monday's drop off, which ended up taking him over 6 hours, because of traffic. He vowed no more weekday transfers, (yelled it, but apparently he's relented. I miss talking to him when he's gone..we talk on the phone several times a day, and IM each other too. He told me "I dont like not talking to you for 4 or 5 hours...cause I miss you.." Said he missed me a lot this weekend. nice is that. (I can hear Murphys gagging from

It'll be nice to see Emma again, we drained her pool last week when she left so the lawn could recover, and then set it up again last night. She loves that damn pool, I swear. She gets so mad when it's time to get out, I have a picture of her pouting about it last time. I think I'll post it if I get a second to myself this evening. She was seriously distressed at the prospect of not swimming in it for anotherweek. "How many days till I can swim in it?" "But I love my pool!" "Who is going to swim in it while Im gone?" "Dont let Danuld in it!" I hear she's got a pool at Lowa's house now tho, so that should be good. It's just funny to see her shivering and shaking, her lips a pale shade of blue...yet refusing to get out of the pool. Then ya gotta make her get out, and making Emma do anything isn't easy or pleasant sometimes.

Should be a good week...

Thanks both to Amanda (who wrote a silly comment) and pasquavodao, who signed the guest map! Where is everyone else?

Im at work. Nuff said. I am off Friday and Monday tho, that will be great. Monday we are going to Six Flags, I can't wait. Will be a nice release from the recent grind. We decided to go sans Emma this time, even tho she'd love it. But since we're only going to get to go one time this year, we wanted to get as much out of it as we can. The Arvada Harvest Festival is coming up in early September, we'll take her to that and she'll have a heyday.

Now I have to get back into the swing of things, everything got put on hold for the booksale. Dentist appointments, school registration (a veritable nightmare Im sure..) and bills to pay. Whee...


Im still not able to write anything of substance. I could never describe the way my body feels right now.

44 hours in 4 days. Really hard work. Book boxes are heavy, and it was hot. But it's over, and I'm glad but it was really, really fun. Strangers that I met and worked with for 4 days, (some worked longer hours than I. (me?) We became so close and so dependant on one another. The Step 13 guys are the best. Guys that are between jail and home. They live together and work together, getting labor jobs when they can. These are the hardest working guys on the planet, and the most sincere. They hauled carts and boxes of books from noon Thursday till 2pm today. We kept bringing books out, even all day today. We think we burned through at least 100K books. The last hour frenzy ensues when it's announced that now every box of books is only $1!! lol. 100's of dollars worth of like new books for a buck. Crazy. We ended up with only about 25 boxes of books left.

And the volunteers. The "biddies" as my best book sale friend Bob calls em. Some are older than dirt, and they have no idea what they're doing. Who knows how much money went out the door cause they added wrong, or gave the wrong change, and just didnt pay attention. But bless their hearts, they love the library. Some of them, it's sad to talk to them cause they are so old, and almost not able to do this anymore.

Oh my god, Larry. What a character this fool was. Flaming, flambouyantly, in your face gay..and the most fun "rest a bag" has ever seen. We had to 86 some yahoo that was being disturbatitive (Mike Tyson word) and Larry said "See, that's why I don't date anymore."

A good time was had by all. But I am w-e-a-r-y.


Came home early today - i totally deserved it. Picked up more donuts this morning, got there around 8:30 and left at 5. I'm totally fried, brainwise, and skinwise.

We're gonna go out for a nice dinner and come home for coffee and dessert probably. Mark offered a nice night out of pool, and some bar hopping but Im totally not up for it. He came to the sale today and picked up around 6 boxes of books I think.

We had a little girl faint today in one of the tents. It's so damn hot, and there's just not much air moving. I cant even stand to be in the tents for very long, I'm claustrophobic, and it really starts getting to me in there after only about 3 minutes. Moneywise, the sale is going good. I think we're at about $70K so far.

Bonus: I've lost my voice.


I will post one more thing. We've only had two snafus so far, but they're big ones. Thursday morning, we're setting up. Fire department comes up. We dont have a permit. $90K fund raising event that's planned since the day the sale is over..and we forgot to get a permit. not we. Anne. We schmoozed, we won. Took all day to smooth out tho.

Snafu #2. I am also in charge of having two hugo mongo coffee pots going at 7:30 am in the tents. This morning I entrusted the job to someone else while I went to pick up 16 dozen donuts. Well, whoever plugged in the coffee...unlplugged the freezer full of 60 boxes of ice cream bars we're selling too. We caught it in about 5 hours..but that was long enough for it to be a giant problem....

Oh, I want to blog, but I am so tired. so so tired. 11.5 hours day today. 14 hours yesterday. In the sun. Outside. with the general public, And with volunteers. we schedule 470 volunteers for this event. 3 hour shifts. Some volunteers work more than one shift, so we actually schedule about 430 people. My main duties for the sale are:
1. Teachers (they get special discounts, special shopping hours, and some have gift certificates from their schools. All teacher transactions are a problem.)
2. Community Service workers. We have several guys that want to get 40 hours of community service done in a weekend, and it's possible with the booksale. Big, strapping,hardworking guys. Love em.
3. Publicity. News cameras show up. Who will go on live tv? (not me..I always pawn it off on Gail.)
4. Volunteers. God, the most fun, interesting, hilarious pains in the asses you've ever seen. They bitch and moan about everything, they request assignments that are too difficult for them and then they cant do it. We have one lady..Virginia...every year she wants to be a cashier. The cashier lines get 60 people deep sometimes..and she is slower than shit. But she loves it, she will only cashier. She has ill fitting dentures, a host of digestive problems, but by god she loves the library. One lady said "the y ear you dont see me volunteering for the booksale is the year I've died. She's done it for 20 something years!

So Ive worked 25 hours in 2 days so far. I've bought no books. I havent even looked at any books.

And if I hear "scuse me, are you in charge?" one more time, I'm gonna lose it.


Insane. Absolutely positively. But oh so fun.

Just got in, worked my ass off and I haven't ever been this tired..even when we moved. Im ready to drop. Gonna go ponder the question "Who is nuttier, the customers, or the volunteers?" I took great pictures. Cant wait to show you some of the craziest people you'll ever see.

Tomorrow will be hellacious. Much more so than tonight. These were the members. The well behaved customers. Tomorrow we open to the public.

Im hitting the showers.

It's Thursday. The book sale starts tonight. It's a members only preview party, where Friends members can come and buy books and drink booze. What a combo. they'll wake up tomorrow "what the fuck did I buy 'Cooking with Helen McCully Beside You' for?"

The tents are up, everything seems ok outside. I had to come in and do some teacher gift certificate stuff, and return phone calls. "Can I bring my 2 year old to the preview party?" (Sure, do they like Budweiser?) "I was wondering why I didn't get an inviation to the preview party?" (you havent been a member since 96) "Do you have the book Colorado Home Cooking"? (There's 300,000 books out there, all're lucky they're in sections.

Im gonna go back outside. Wish I was happier, but am harboring ill feelings about unrelated stuff. That's never good.

Kim, Dy and Trent signed the guestmap. Thanks guys!

My washer is not working.
Im sad about other things.
Im gonna be so tired tomorrow.

Here's Amanda's personality test results:

Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

I really need to go to bed.


Oh, man. Sometimes you can only talk to one certain person about something. Alan, you've got mail.

Denny's on the trouble truck. Sounds like something like being in the dog house.

"I wanted to go out tonight, but I can't cause I didn't do the laundry. Now I'm on the trouble truck."

This is fairly interesting. Most of it is pretty accurate, but I bristled at the Anti-Social label till I read their explanation: (click the disorder to read the explanations)

"A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often agressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others. "

I tend to lie and steal? Not really, I have but....


It looks like Im not a very nice person. But at least I'm not gonna hurt anyone. lol

Histrionic:Very High
Narcissistic:Very High

-- Click Here To Take The Test --

I made a photoalbum, and have so far done an album all about moving day! You guys can all upload your own photos there too, please do!


Home, finally. We took the long way. Went by where Elitch's used to be, Daniel wanted to see it. Alsowent by me and dan's old old house on quitman. Tiny little 3 room (not bedrooms!) place we lived in when I was pregnant with kt. Found an arc we'd never been to and went in there and spent 8 bucks or so. Funza.

Now I feel gross and hot and hungry. But I have a washer hooked up, thanks to Mark and kt. Whee!

Guesnt map is working. sign in!

I'm pretty sure I'm going to strangle several people. Im just not sure of priority order yet. Stay tuned.

Oh, look at that cooly mooly guest map thingie over there. Found it on mamselle's site. Go play with it. (actually, go play with it tomorrow, s' broke right now.)

My buddy Trent is going to make some design changes on here for me today. If things look weird when you visit, that's why.

I have already been in tears at my desk today, there is a snafu with the newspaper ad I placed. I swear to god these people have their collective heads in their asses. I bitched this woman out up one side and down the other, then ripped her a new one. She's going to see what she can do and call me back. Yea, I know you are.

Daniel is here at work with me today. He has his last PO meeting this afternoon, way down in bfe. Thank god. Please everyone knock on wood that he stays out of trouble this year.

I slept like a rock last night, finally. I needed it. I feel like Im psyching myself up for this weekend. Do ya'll want pictures of the insanity?


Laura would like this site.

Oh, I love this blog too! She is a really young single mom with the cutest little baby you've ever seen. Great writing. She wrote a "100 things about melissa" essay. Here's number 65...

"One time I pissed my dad off so much he pushed a shopping cart so hard that it smacked into the wall and then when he stomped out of the grocery store I shouted after him,"This isn't very AA of you!"

And she quotes "Raising Arizona" heh.

Read her piece on 7/21. her grandma died. You'll be reading her everyday.

Im checking my work voice mail from home. I have to during the booksale, the calls are insanity. And it hasn't even started yet. I already have a message on my phone saying "chances are, no one's calling you back this here's the answers to your most likely questions..." or something to that effect. 11 messages just now. Questions that are answered in my greeting. groan.

A book I came across:

Cooking with Helen McCully Beside You, 1970.

Oh my god. Isn’t that creepy? It sounds like Helen’s well dead and her spirit is following you around the kitchen holding pot holders that appear to be floating in mid-air.
Here recipes are all about timing. Lots of it. She uses the absolute most time consuming recipes and techniques possible. Each recipe starts out with: Your Cooking Schedule”. Things you have to do the day before, the night before, that morning, and all day long.
Stuff the chicken the night before. Get up and start the potatoes that have to cook all day and be turned ever 90 minutes. Noon, start the dessert. Afternoon, chicken in the oven, blah blah blah. Tons of tasks in between too. Cutting the onions just so…handling the tomatoes properly...

It’s hilariously tyrannical.

Kt blogged. Whee!

"I'ts been almost a month of no blogging. I had limited access to internet and limited brain functioning.
Richard Simmons is my new hero. I got a video that includes free stretchy cords to help me 'tone and sweat'. I vow to do the video 5 times a week. One down, four to go. I need to be toned.

So Im in a new house now, though it doesnt seem that new anymore. I just havent blogged in a long time. I have the biggest, cleanest room in the house. I have vacuumed at least 4 times since we moved and no one else has even made room on their floors to vaccuum.

Basically, I have watched my summer whither away, while watching daytime television, sleeping, playing super mario bros 3, and going to movies with Charlie.

Went to Sante Fe last week with my aunt...had a good time...although I nearly killed us twice. As im cruising down the interstate, (which i have NEVER done before), I dont realize that if yuo are in the right lane you have to be aware of people entering the highway to your right. I didnt realize that their lane ended. When a car would try to get on in front of me, I didnt know what the hell to do. My aunt would start screaming and I would start crying and I ended up cutting off the person in the left lane without signaling...barely escaping a huge accident. My aunt, although i was on the verge of wrecking her nice SUV, would not let me stop driving. I would make sharp turns and spill drinks all over her car, and she would yell, yet she would still not let me stop driving. I was miserable at times, but i guess it was a good experience. "


Did you read porn clerk stories today?! ack!

Ok, how about our top ten shows.
Here's mine, scoff away. (no particular order)

Fear Factor
Weakest Link
Frontier House
Screen Savers
Six Feet Under
Crank Yankers
Saturday Night Live
The Newlywed Game

The insanity has begun.

The booksale is a mere 56 hours away, and the calls are pouring in. Where is it? What time is the sale? How much are the books? Do you have (insert name of book here)? Is there parking? Do I have to wear pants? Can I bring my dog? Are you selling food? Am I a certifiable idiot?

I am going to go record a Book Sale Voice Mail...answering the most commonly asked questions. That way maybe the ingrates will leave me be. am so tired. Stayed up till just after 2, just talking..which is good, but I am paying for it today.

Too much to do, no time..hungry..sleepy..wah!

Other than that, things are hunky dory.


Oh, lordy. Mi familia

My cousin David, remember..could not find any hapless soul willing to accompany him on his wonderful European vacation. I cant even remember what he said..."France, Spain, Switzerland..blahblahblah" He was even trying to get some of his homely female office mates to just tag he would have some company. He's gorgeous, he's funny, he's loaded. He's there right now, alone.

My immediate family on the other hand is so tightly wound that one sprocket out of place sends the whole thing reeling. The number one rule you must always remember is:

No one talks to each other.

And when people do start talking to each other, it messes with the earth's balance. lol.

There is some loud spanish talking going on outside my window. brb. I'll finish this post when i get back.

Ok, it was nothing.

Anyway...this is rich. (Cindi is my sister)

Me: Do you know anyone that collects old school books? I have one from 1961, a teachers edition called Using Good English.
Cindi: "using good english"? that doesn't even sound like good english!
Me: man i cant believe its time for school!
Cindi: well, it's not exactly time for school yet
Me: only a teacher in july would say that. (Sssh, dont say anything, you'll jinx it..)
Cindi: I have to go back august 5
Me: oh ick, that's right around the corner!
Me: lol.
Cindi: shut up big mouth


Cindi: Im so glad mandi turned that job down
Me: oh me too
Me: did she talk to you?
Cindi: no
Me: she thought i would be mad
Cindi: we called her from santa fe but she wasn't home
Me: oh, so you only know that she's not working because of the blog?
Me: has she told you?
Cindi: no - I read it in your blog
Cindi: that's how I know what's going on anymore!


Me: well then she doesnt want you to know
Me: or mom
Me: i dont think dad knows either

Cindi: welcome to our world

Me: oh god i have to blog this
Me: im so removed from it i can laff my ass off about it.


Cindi: that "ten things so and so would never say" was funny, i thought
Cindi: I loved mandi's
Me: oh i know. The F word.
Cindi: that was hilarious!
Me: it was so mandi
Cindi: "I tried to make myself say it one day in the car and I couldn't"
Me: kt and i imitate her trying to do that…

I wish I would have written this myself. I do so love to piss people off.

"Ask a straight person what the queerest show on TV is, and you'll get a list more trite than Mr. Blackwell's (see Will & Grace). Real queers know the gayest hour on television is a perverse cable show called Trading Spaces. The Learning Channel's breakaway hit, based on the U.K. phenomenon Changing Rooms, takes two couples, gives them a $1,000 budget, an over-the-top interior designer and two days to screw up a room in a friend's house.

Kt loves Trading Spaces. I can't stand it.

We're going to join the ranks of millions (ok, a few folks anyway) and do the Monday Mission.

1. Do you remember your first encounter with computers? Tell me about that.
I didn't have a lot of experience with computers until I started working at Northglenn High School, that was in 1995. I was totally smitten with the internet, and it's affordability to connect me with people all over the world. I seriously believe that the discovery and usage of the internet changed my life, and probably led to my divorce, which was a good thing. Now I'm a geek.

2. How late can you stay up and still be functional the next day? Do you do that very often?
I can stay up till 12:30 or so with no problem, I get up around 6:30. I stay up till 2 or 2:30 frequently, probably once every two weeks or so. I'm tired the next day, but not dysfunctional.

3. When was the last really good hug you got from another adult? Who was it and what was the situation?
Mark of course, for no good reason. He's a great hugger and we do it often.

4. One thing about children is that they all like to draw. We all shared the same ability and skill level at one time. Do you still like to draw? (Not do you think you draw well, or do others, but do you like to?) If not, how come? Did you get discouraged at some point?
I really hate to draw. I can draw like 4 things. Badly. My mom can draw one thing. A sideways view of a lady. We're not a drawing family.

5. I way overslept today. I had to head to work with no shower (don't get too close), and I am not in the best of moods. Have you ever overslept on a day you had something important going on? What's the story there?
I don't usually do this, but when the kids were in head start I was always oversleeping and frequently had to scramble to get them on the bus in about 2 minutes. Ridiculous. Right now I have a job that doesn't dictate what time I come in, so it doesn't matter.

6. Ever go shopping for something you know you can't afford? You look at it and even think about how it will look when you get it home, somehow you justify the cost and believe it can happen? And just before you get to the counter come to your senses? What was the last thing you almost bought, but thought better of it? And why the heck do we do that to ourselves?
I don't do this very often either, I'm not an impulse buyer. I buy things I need, more frequently I buy things the kids need. I shop very frugally, I always have. I rarely buy retail, and I sell the stuff I don't need or want anymore, usually on ebay.

You guys add yours to your blogs. I wanna read it.

Found this gem at Serendipity's site, and She is definately goin over there. I've sat here and read her blog for over an hour. A snippet to wet you..(ooh..)

"I've been playing this fun little game with myself lately. It's called "Stare at Stuff Until You're Convinced It's Alive." Hours of solitary entertainment! Better than grocery shopping. Better than recreational showering. Better than lying on the couch feverishly feeble with fastly atrophying arms trying to clip coupons for potentially important cleaning products. I first discovered this game while brushing my teeth. Point of focus, a dark speck in the yellow nap of the bathmat. Here's how you play: Find a mysterious object of unknown origin, potentially analogous to a bug. Stare at object until eyes blur (kind of like those magic eye paintings, which to this very day I have never been able to make work). Squint to focus on object many times over. Repeat your special mantra again and again, "It's moving. It can't be moving. I think it's moving. It moved. It's not moving." Game is over when you finally say fuck this and get down on your hands and knees and carefully poke the object determining that it is indeed a piece of thread."

Go check her out.

It is 5:25 and Mark still isn't home, stuck in traffic. He left Pueblo 4 hours ago!

I figured the last thing he'd wanna do when he got home was get dressed to go out to dinner so I went ahead and made some nice foodie. It's almost done, we're gonna eat and watch the remainder of the Mothman Prophecies that we started yesterday. Fun, fun.

Speaking of "The Rock."

In every relationship there needs to be some lists. Even if it's only a mental list. Pet peeves that are annoying enough to promise to try to avoid. Chore lists. The sexual boundaries list. And the freebie list. The freebie list is a list of individuals that, if for some strange reason came into your life and you had "the opportunity" to...well, you could..without repercussion. The Rock is definately on my list. Along with Nick Cage, and Jim Rome. yummy yummy. Not sure who for sure is on Mark's list, I'll have to ask. I know he likes Sigourney Weaver. lol.

Everyone seems to like you since you are funny and the life of the party.

However, take away those few gimmicks that you keep a
crowd entertained with, and there really isn't much else left.

Take The "Which WWF Wrestler are you?" Quiz

So nice to be called and asked out on a date from the person you're living with.

I had told Mark about the bad dreams I had last night. He didnt say much at the time, but then called me from the "road" and asked if I'd like to go out to dinner, just the two of us. How nice that is...made me feel really good, and washed away any remnants of the bad dreams that were still floating nearby.

I am so insane busy at work. This teacher shit for the book sale is going to make me certifiably commitable.. Im glad and irritated at the same time that Anne handed it all off to me. Once again, something gets thrown in my lap to "fix" that's all fucked up. We are three days from the sale and still some schools do not know they have gift certificates waiting. Some schools didnt even bother to pick up their gift certificates at the Spring Sale. How can librarians be so stupid as to not pick up $600 worth of free books? Two schools never even acknowledged their $600 gift certificates. Do you know how many books that is at a library book sale? It's insane. I know for a fact I will laff if I ever hear of those two schools whining that they need supplies. And this money was given by a very philanthropic individual that took the time and funds to help out some schools. God, it irritates me to even think about it.

I ordered kt some work out tapes from and she got one of them today and she's thrilled. Richard Simmons with tonin' cords. It was like $2. lol. Also have two more coming. I love buying movies on half. I could care less if the movies are new, or have a good box. Long as the movie works..for 2 bucks?! you betcha.

I've got to go figure out this teacher crap.

I have been tweaking my date and time stamps on blogger. eek.

Better to do this at's so damn time consuming! I really would like a totally different layout, but good lord, that's a lot of work.

I'm tired and I dont wanna be here. Mark's driving Emma home today, meeting Dy in Pueblo. 2 hours there, 2 hours back. Wish I was going. I love a good drive with good company.

Groan..just read the forecast for book sale days. 90's. oh man....

alan_r: "Did you read my journal over the weekend? I made a special effort to update it as you requested.."

Of course I noticed! I had been giving him grief for never posting on the weekends. And now he's gone and bought himself a damn farm.

I'm back at work, hating every minute of it. Of course Gail was all over me first thing this morning about some such nonsense. We're re-writing our job descriptions, how stupid is that? To me that is a stamp of approval to add all the things she wants me to add, except better compensation. Doh.

Amanda ended up *not* taking that job. She was so distressed about it, Im glad she finally decided to keep looking. Maybe it's a mistake, but it was just eating away at her and she really felt like the right decision was to not take it. Scary decision, but I'm glad she has the nads to make it.

Thank god it is finally cooler! Yesterday I dont think it quite hit 90, and the forecast for today is only 83 glorious degrees. I didn't even put my sunshade up on my windshield that keeps the car at 140 degrees in the afternoon, instead of 150. lol.

I had some icky bad dreams last night. I had a lot of trouble sleeping in general actually. Tossed and turned until after 2, then slept really fitfully. Woke up hot and turned on the fan, then woke up again when Mark turned it off a few minutes later. lol.

Ok, Im going to do real work. Feel bad for me.


So, Im on the living room computer cause my space bar sucks so much.

We went out with Michele and had a few beers and some food. Fucken Verns at 44th and Wadsworth, which has been there since the dawn of man I think. Along with our waitress. They had no qualms about putting the chairs on the table and turning the lights out on us. Im full tho, pretty good food.

We went down to Mark's condo today to do some more cleaning and get it "readier" for renting. It wasn't as hot today, but we didn't get that much done. Brought a big carload home of everything else that was left there. Now all that's left there is cleaning supplies. We also need to rent a Stanley Steemer or some crap, that carpet is gonna take some serious work.

Emma goes home to mommy tomorrow. It's been a long week. I'll miss her tho.

Book sale week coming up. Groan. I hope Gail develops some rare form of illness that quarantines her for a long period of time. I dont think I can take this week with her constantly breathing down my neck. Man, I wish something would happen soon..I know the board is really looking at her performance, and it looks like maybe they'll be contacting the staff for their input. Please...yes...

I think it's bedtime. Needing ceiling time, actually I think.

Well, I'll be. I think I've found some of the worst writing I've ever seen, here.

It's been a fun week with Emma, but it's been a long week.

A week of "whyyy." Why do we have to go to the laundromat? Why does kt and cha-lie want to be alone? Why do i have to go to bed? etc etc etc. Se's so astute,which is a good thing but a bad thing too. She picks up on every little phrase being said. Yesterday (courtesy of kt) she started using the word "mofo". And she has completely integrated the word "dude" into her vocabulary. "Dude, look at my knee." "Dude, is it time for dinner?" I think we've steered off the mofo term, but dude is here to stay.

Going to Marks condo and get it ready for renting. I have cramps and a backache. Im gonna be a fun person to deal with today. Hopefully hooking up with friends tonight. That'd be nice.

Ive had several people take this test so far, and it hasn't been wrong once. You have to try it. The questions are interesting, and really make you think about what you would certain circumstances, and how you feel about things. Post the results.

Which Gender Are You?


Saturday Night Live was so funny for once. Seriously. We were laffing our asses off. And we're being coffee heads.

Daniel is home, they got completely rained out. They went all the way to Grand Lake, so it was a 2 1/2 hour drive back after they decided that 4 hours of rain was enough. I've camped like that, and it sucks. I've had just about every wacko camping experience you could have. We did some seriouslly frequent camping when I was married, and I could tell you some crazy stories. From being scared, to encounters with animals, being rained out, being hailed out, fights, fun, encounters with the law, and of course the most horrible loong memorial day weekend trip when I completely forgot my clothes, my toiletries *and* my sleeping bag. That feels like it was someone else's life..surreal and really distant. Weird.

Oh, I've wanted to blog all night, but I just couldnt.

It's too hot to blog, we are zombies baking in the desert. By 10am we are so hot, and our energy is already zapped. The heat makes you weary, grouchy, irritable and sometimes unreasonable. Then you take a shower before bed and you feel like a whole new person...and you get up and do it all again tomorrow. Days blend into each other and it's an effort just to get shit done.

We had such a crazy busy day today. Found a washer and dryer for $75. From right down the street about 4 houses, at a yard sale. We bought them and then came back after dinner and retrieved them. Set up - soon. Also did arc, and the laundromat. And two trips to the grocery store.

Also bought a tall black nice bookshelf for $7. And..what else. Oh! A tv for daniel AND a vcr that work great. For $30. He's gonna be so happy about that. School starts so soon, I want him to have a nice room by then. Im really getting impatient at how not put together the house is.

So Denny said "What's up with Danelle's name,anyway.." So..from what I understand my mom wouldnt name me..for some reason..(that changes depending on the telling..).
So my dad picked my name out of the obituaries. I think both first and middle names..I dunno, like I said the story changes depending on who you ask. Maybe my sister will be brave and verify on the board over there.


Amanda got the job that she interviewed for last week. She called me crying and told me about it.

She's not happy with it at all, and vows to keep looking. It is less pay, and she's worried about that but more than anything..she just really doesnt wanna work there. We're pulling for you lucy, keep plugging away. There's someone that will recognize you for all you're worth. Wish I could just tell em how great you are myself. I love you.

What Was Your PastLife?

It's really just too fucken hot to blog. No relief insite. High 90's for days and days and days in a row. Shoot me.

Why do you think they call it dope?

This is funny as hell. Or maybe it's sad as hell. The downward spiral of one woman's life. Looks like it starts in 1983, she looks what..15? And it ends in 97, which would make her only 29.

Im not sure if this is a blog or not, but Im gonna add it. It's at some sort of forum site, and I haven't checked out the rest of the threads. Could be some gems in there too. Its really interesting. True Porn Clerk Stories.. It's just what it says it is.

I have been reading a bunch of random blogs, and it just makes me want throw rocks at mine.

Someone pl-he-hease go get some foodie. I dont wanna cook nothin...

Friday night. Freedom.

Why do I continually feel that no one is capable of running their lives, and I need to step in and do it for them. The fault lines today:

1. People dont need to be pushed into things they dont want to do. If an oppty slips them by, so be it. I can only ensure that I don't do the same to myself.
2. I need to not be so judgemental. I am frequently looking for (and pointing out) the black cloud in other people's decisions.
3. I need to not kick the elevator door when it does come as fast as I think it should.

This morning, Emma said "Why is everyone in this house grumpy today?"

Basically, Im having a "my way or the highway" type of day. It's best just to pull over and let me by.

The Dead People's Server. This has always been one of my favorite sites. Go check it out, look up some folks.

Im so blah today, even tho it's Friday. Feel like it's Fry Day.

I'm listless, unmotivated and bloated.

Um, helloo? I spent two hours figuring how to post a wav on here last night. It showed up fine and worked from home, but I dont see the wav now that Im here at work. Does anyone else see it? It's right before the lyrics..


The lyrics to this song are really creepy and haunting, but I love, love, love this song. It's on a CD I made last night and I've been playing it a lot. Played it in the car while I was waiting outside Walgreens for Daniel, and just looking around at this town, the people, the houses. It's surreal, almost. I mean I grew up in this town..but now that i've been's so damn Mayberry.


Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
her placenta falls to the floor
The angel opens her eyes
the confusion sets in
before the doctor can even close the door...

"Lightning Crashes"

(Edit - This turned into a really long blog..)

Tonight has been so weird and so fun. Katie was here when I got home from the laundromat. That was fun. She got me a cool refridge magnet and some wood windchimes that are awesome. We hung them outside already. While me Daniel and Emma were at the laundromat we walked over to Walgreens and bought a bunch of crap. I got Daniel some snacks for camping this weekend, and Emma some licorice. Daniel also bought one of those wooden paddles with the red rubber ball attached and he got really good at it. He was totally smitten with the damn thing, then he was screwing around in the backyard and threw it up in the air and it got stuck in the tree. He got it down but the string broke, and left the ball in the tree. He was so disappointed that we got in the car, drove to Walgreens and went and got another one. lol. I felt bad and wanted him to have it this weekend at camping, he'd pass a lot of time with it. He got so engrossed and so good at it. Actually he bought *two* more at Walgreens, in case one breaks again, that's how fanatical he is about it.

He said on the way home.." Dad would have never done this..seen a toy broke and turned around and went right back to the store. He'd just be like "too bad."" I said "Can you see why we didn't get along?" He said yes, and Dad always said I was too lenient, and that that really wasn't it, and we agreed I was just a little "looser" than Dan. I like doing nice things for him when he's been decent, and he's been not too bad lately.

Emma is a 40 year old trapped in a 4 year old's body. While we were at the laundromat, she wanted to play a big video game. I told her no, cause it was too hard. She said

"and it has ominous creatures in it".

Daniel and I looked at each other and dropped our jaw. Daniel's like "I barely know what that word means!" He said "She's gonna be somekind of fancy talker when she grows up." Fancy talker. lol

Ok this is fucked up. I'm sitting here blogging and Mark's cell phone rings on the desk. I look at it and it says "home". I answer and it's Mark. From the basement. He's calling me cause I'm not on trillian so he cant message me, and he wants to ask me if I think the upstairs living room tv is too loud, and could I ask someone to turn it down. I feel like I have to lock the door to get just a few minutes of "me" time, but that would really seem rude, I think.

While we were driving around tonight Daniel said "Your car sounds like a bus. Here we come in our bus..!" We both started busting up laffing so hard. I said I thought it sounded like a muscle car, which I then had to explain to him.

I'm taking a long weekend (4 days) around the 1st of August. We're going to Six Flags..whee. I thought I had maybe 32 hours of vaca time, then I asked and I have 56! wtf! I just took 3 days off at the beginning of July! I was still burning comp days from April's book sale tho. Madness. I am getting increasing excited about the next one, next weekend. The book sale is I am in charge of all the advertising, classifieds, print ads, radio anything and everything to do with teachers that come to the sale. Gift certificates, coupons, notifiying teachers (not so easy on summer break) - a special teachers only "hour" etc...etc.. Anne is really starting to have a meltdown and Jessica and I are kind of lurking around picking up loose ends behind her. It all always comes together at the end, but it's really painful getting there. I can't wait to blog during the sale, everything always get's so insane. I will post a jpg of the poster Anne and I designed that we are using for all the print ads. It's fabulous.

This town is getting weirder and weirder. It's so glaringly white.

The Dead RockStar Test

You would much rather be getting drunk, writing poetry and sleeping with your fans than being boring old you. There is never a dull moment when you're around. you have much talent that shouldn't be wasted. So what are you waiting for? Go Be a Rock Star!

Can I get my laundry done first?

Took another stupid test:

Your distinct personality, The Benevolent Ruler might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are the idealistic social dreamer. Your overriding goal is to solve the people problems of your world. You are a social reformer who wants everyone to be happy in a world that you can visualize. You are exceptionally perceptive about the woes and needs of humankind. You often have the understanding and skill to readily conceive and implement the solutions to your perceptions. On the positive side, you are creatively persuasive, charismatic and ideologically concerned. On the negative side, you may be unrealistically sentimental, scattered and impulsive, as well as deviously manipulative. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

Woke up late with a raging headache today, worrying about amanda. She hasn't found a job yet, and is stressing that she's not going to be able to get by if she doesn't find something soon. I can't help her out that much, my measley little 20 bucks here and there that I post to her bank account hardly makes a difference at all, I know. I sent her some links for jobs this morning, cross your fingers guys..she needs to be working.

I wasted several CD's last night trying to burn a few more. I don't know what the issue was, but I defragged again, and hopefully when I get home tonight it'll be ok. If I cant burn CD's, I wont be a happy computing type person at all.

Tonight will also entail a wonderful, fabulous, not to be missed trip to...drum roll.....

The laundromat!! Whee!

Daniel was harping last night about what a hassle it is not to have a washer and dryer. Helloo? Im the only one working in this house, I know that! Im the one that has to have clean, pressed fancy clothes everyday. I've never in my life been so diligent about hanging up my work clothes as soon as I take them off. Actually, on that note it's amazing how clean the house is staying, even with all the folks that are home during the day. Last night Daniel and I did the kitchen and living room really good, cause Kt's coming home tonight and she'd squeal if it was a mess.

Daniel is going camping with Dan this weekend. Glee, sweet glee. I would like to do some yard saleing if the temperature ever drops to a level where it is safe for humans to be outside. The highs have been 97-99 all week, with no relief in sight. When I get out to my car at 4pm, it is seriously unbearable to even sit in for a few minutes.

Well, back to work. I am hating this place today.


Groan. Daniel is being Daniel and it's stressing me out. He says I'm stressing him out. It seems like he just has this blockage when it comes to proper behavior and respect, and the notion escapes him. He has no room to screw up at this point.

I'm listening to the whole Avril Levigne CD I just burned, and it's so fabulous. Mark is moving pc's around and doing cabling things, and generally being a grouch. But it's hot and annoying work, so who's to blame him. I just try to stay out of the way.

I hope you read what Former Hairdresser Serendipity had to say today. What a riot. I added her link over there. enjoy.

Katie messaged me from a library in Sante Fe:

kt: hey
kt: we are at a library
me: heya, whats going ON?!
kt: not much we just came to the library to get online
me: lol, addicts.
kt: yea
kt: i have spent so much money but i havent hardly bought anything i dont know how
me: yea, vacation is like that. you nickel and dime it away.
kt: have you talked to char?
me: no, i sent him an email but he never answered
kt: uuugh
me: well we miss you!
kt: i miss me.
kt: so i think im getting offline in a sec
me: see ya later baby.
kt: ok see ya
me: mwa
me: ride and drive safe
kt: i will
kt: love ya

"I miss me." Is that profound or what?

katie is groaning to me online cause she's nickel and diming her entire savings away in Santa Fe.

Pardon my groaning.

I just wrote a rebuttal to my review. How fun is that? Not very. Touting one's accomplishments in the face of negativity isn't always easy. But I think I've managed to project a positive response, not sounding too negative myself.

Im so sleepy right now, Ive got to start getting to bed earlier. I took a quiz in Cosmo or some shit and it said I am "severely" sleep deprived. Bah. I wasted 15 minutes of snore time taking the

Just talked to everyone on the home front. They're outside watching Emma swim in the pool. Wah....I wanna go.

Finally some financial news I care about:

It's 4:20. Put another blunt on the barbie.

Uncle Bob is doing a fun CD project. You send him a CD of your favorite ass shakin tunes, and he will do the same. I'm gonna do it, maybe you should too. Let me know if you need the address.


Im gonna put crazy headlines here in my posts instead, I think. It's a big damn hassle to go in to my template every time I want to change them. So here's a couple for today:

Can't sleep, clowns will rob me

Hail Mary, full of electricity

I'm not a monk, but I play one on tv

There ya go. Go get your news fix.

Listening to : Heart - Alone
Drinking: Diet Soda
Craving: A cigarette

Gonna try to blog here, my space bar wasn't working earlier and it was really pissing me off, enough that I didn't want to try to blog, cause I type so fast when I blog. I cleaned underneath it really good and now I think it's good.

Spent a grand amount of time tonight getting all my wav's and settings back where they should be. that's the biggest groaner about relaoding, is that I have things Just How I Want Them and I hate doing it all over again. But now all my lovely wavs are as they should be and my Active and Inactive Title Bars are a lovely shade of lilac..font Tahoma, 12 pt. Im very picky about this shit.

Mark is tearing apart the banister on our stairs and rebuilding them so they're sturdier. Told him he was behaving husbanated.

Lyrics for now. Good, great, wonderful song. I was all grumpy this morning and listened to this on the way to work, and I was happy after that..

My head is swirling....
been carried off in the sky
and where it lands is where is lands.

I guess that I... will get another head
and get on with my life
leave you somewhere beneath the waves of time.

And I'll wear glass shoes and plastic wrap.
No, I'll just wear my insides...yea...

You want to know who I really am?
Yeah so do I, yeah so do I.

Cause I don't think...
that I've got the stomach to
stomach calling you today.

"See You"
~Saves The Day

Im wishing as hard as I can that we'll have some of Serendipity's weather soon. *sigh. I really have no desire to leave the library today and get in my car which interior temperature is probably about 123 degrees inside right now. But I have leave soon, cause I didn't pay for parking today, so I have to get out there before the Man in the Van does.

Anne and I had to go to Schlessman Branch today and take pictures for the media of kids making art for the Booklover's Ball. The Booklover's Ball for those of you Not In The Know is an overpriced event the Library puts on every year (In October) to raise money. It's a catered black tie affair that I loathe. The pictures came out cute. Then I dropped my camera, but apparently it is still functional. Idiot. I will show you a couple of pictures tonight.

I know this is corny as all hell, but I've always liked it.

To learn the value of a year,
ask a student who's just failed a final exam.
To learn the value of a month,
ask the mother of a premature baby.
To learn the value of a week,
ask the editor of a weekly paper
To learn the value of a day,
ask the lovers spending time apart.
To learn the value of an hour,
ask the inmate sentenced to death.
To learn the value of a minute,
ask someone who's just missed their plane
To learn the value of a second,
ask a silver medalist.

Do something with your time today.

Apparently, stylists hate me. Laura left a list of irritants on her blog, regarding her clients. She cuts hair. I fit some of them, but one in particular.
"---Women with lonnnnnnnggggg stringy, split hair that will not cut enough of it to make it look attractive because "I like it long". Get real. It looks like shit. Cut it off."

Oh yea, that's me. My hair has looked virtually the same since oh, about 7th grade I'd say. Short bangs, long hair. Yes, I am sick of it. Yes, it is hotter than a wool blanket. Yes, it's boring. No I do not want to cut it. Why? I don't know. I just dont.

So, in retort I thought I would post my list of pet peeves regarding stylists. Mostly my reference comes from franchise shops, as that's what I usually frequent.

1. Why do you book only 2 stylists on a Saturday afternoon?
2. Don't turn your nose up when I tell you what shampoo I use. Better yet, don't even ask. I really hate that.
3. The inane small talk has got to stop. Don't ask me about my job, my kids, or my non-existent husband. This is my "pamper me" time, please be quiet.
4. Pay attention when the perm timer goes off. You freak us out when you don't come for 5 minutes after it buzzes.
5. Please get some new goddam magazines.
6. One last thing. The cape is fucking choking me.

Just remember, what goes around, comes around.


Im watching Rocky Horror on Starz. It just doesn't have the same effect, but I do so love it still.

If I didn't feel so fat, ugly, homely and old I might do this.

I'm watching Seinfeld, having a cup of coffee and wishing it wasn't so fucken hot. I feel sticky and gross, I could take 4 showers a day and still feel caca.

I think I need a snack. Brb, talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a subject. Is a male Starbucks employee still a barista?


I went and got a popsicle, which has further irritated me because our refridge doesn't work properly and those damn rug munching grannies (I mean that in the most accepting, i-love-all-people type of way) haven't done a damn thing about it. The fridge doesn't get cold enough, and the freezer doesn't freeze thoroughly. So I just had to slurp down a drippy popsicle in a most unsatisfying way. There was so many things to fix when we moved in here, and they've only managed to get to a handful of them. When their "repairperson" came over one day, Daniel said "Is that a guy or a girl?" lol - I said ", I think she's in transition...." Which I undoubtedly believe she is. But hey, that's what makes the world go round, right?

That's one reason I liked hanging around Deana for the short time that we did. She had really really fun gay friends. Not your garden variety "Im pretending I'm not gay" folks, but flambouantly, blazing, card carrying gay folks. And damn, those people know how to party. The one party we went to was such a riot. Who knew gay boys loved Moulin Rouge so much? They serenaded each other using whatever phallic object was nearby as a microphone. Then there was Lori. The only other straight person at the party besides us. (cough - Im choking) Only she wasn't just straight she was anorgasmic. She was lamenting about how she could never get a date, she never got laid and how few dates she even had. After some probing, she admitted that the only people she kept company with were gay friends. Helloo? How you gonna get laid hanging around Moulin Rouge boys? Anyway, she started irritating me rather quickly and I made Mark get away from her. lol - that's the same night I threw up in 9News' parking lot.

I think I need a soda now.

Ok got one.

We've managed to piss off the neighbors on both sides of us. Pretty good for 2 weeks work, I'd say. The neighbors to the south, The Too Many Adults In One Household - well apprently the previous renters here had given them their trash cans after they moved. But I didn't know that... So I'd been using them, and taking out to the curb on Tuesdays for trash pickup day. Well last week, someone said (Mark of Daniel, I forgot) that Vicki (prev renter) had told him that she left the trash cans and told the neighbors they could have them. Oops. So this week, rather than pull the trash cans all the way up to our porch, I left them out there, and sure enough the neighbors have grabbed em and filled em with their trash. I'm sure they're loving us.

Then, Angry Polish Man to the north came over at 11:30 last night and said my sprinkler was getting him wet in his bed. Hey, when I set the sprinkler it was hella dark, and there's no light in the backyard. It's so damn hot, wouldnt a little spray while you snooze feel good?

I guess I've ranted long and hard enough. Off to bed, only to start another day at the sweatshop tomorrow. The booksale's coming up, you know. I expect to see you all there.

I guess I better blog something before Denny has a kaniption. (sp? I dont think Ive ever written that word before).

Today really really sucked and its not getting any better. The people closest to me are getting on my last nerve. I just want to go in my room and shut the door and fell the fog roll in and read blogs, and write, and do stuff that generally wastes time. Oh but I cant.

My machine is down, its sorta up but mostly down. Mark worked on it all day (cough) and it's up and on the internet, but everything else is all fucked up. None of my programs are loaded, my settings are all BLAH and this keyboard is the shits. Im only being allowed on here for a short time because someone's gonna get stabbed through the jugular if I dont. No other machines in this house are up on the net today, because of this massive problem that I apparently caused because I wouldnt let someone reload my machine 6 months ago.

I had a shitty day at work which I wont go into because it will just make me want to drive over to people's houses and stab them in the jugular.

Kt is gone which sucks. Cindi called me around 4 this afternoon and said Katie had been driving since Colorado Springs, and they were nearly at the state line. She said there were a couple of really scary moments, but that she was doing better. eek. And I was worried about her just wearing her damn seatbelt.

Emma, who is a darling angel little kitten, is following me around everysinglefuckingwhereigo and asking me a gazillion questions. Why why why why why why. Why is Schatze's paw hurt? Where is kt? Where is Daniel? Why? Where is my mom? Where is my dad? Why? What are you doing? Why? - Through my jovial smiling face and gritted teeth I sweetly say "let's put on a movie for you". lol.

I hope that gives Denman his fix. I might be back later.

No soup for you!

I'm mad that I missed photoday. Really mad.

This is pretty damn funny if you're into scrabble..

Hey my pictures are back, but they shouldn't be. Ok, ssh.

I am at work, and it's hot even here. Forecast is for high 90's all week, and into next week.

I am sick of it.

Work sucks, the heat sucks, I need to get kt to the dentist, I need to find a new car. Bleh. Monday, monday....


Been trying to deal with things today that come up occasionally, and that are hard to fix.

Each of my kids is so different, and they get on each other's nerves a lot, which is normal. But it seems like the girls get a lot of advantanges that Daniel doesn't get, and it's hard to explain to him why, cause I don't really get it either.

It's easy to explain to Daniel why he doesn't have the same freedom that katie does, he hasn't earned that trust yet, and in fact has marred that trust, and is building it back up. But he gets passed over for some things that the girls get asked to do, from family and others, and it really bothers him. His esteem is so low anyway, and it's hard to build him up when he feels so left out. I hope he makes some friends this year at school...although I say that every year. I just wish he had a life outside his family so he'd get some interaction elsewhere. He's so bummed out.

I have spent nearly the entire day in bed, I had a migraine like headache pop up a few hours ago, and I was out. Drew and Jenny are coming over tho, so I had to get up and get moving. The house is no where near ripe for company's not going to get any better today I don't think. Nice when you just move, for about a month you have an excuse for your house to be trashed. I'm excited to be having them over, Drew is so interesting to talk to. Celeste and Dave were slated to come over too, but had to beg off for good reason.

Katie's been at the Ren Fest all day, yesterday she spent all day at Char's dad's company picnic, and Im bummed I havent seen her very much. School will be starting before you know it (aah, autumn - will it cool off?!) and then they'll all be busy again. I'd like kt to get another job soon, but that doesn't seem to be on her agenda. Im sending good wishes Amanda's way for a job fair that is happening in town.

Mark and I started a little side business and it's taken off amazingly well. So far we're doing about $200 every two weeks, with no sign of slow down. We figure at this rate we could have a stockpile of about $3K by December, and spend Christmas in Cancun, what dya say..anybody else up for it? Maravilloso!!

I have found a new reality tv fix, in the absence of new episodes of Fear Factor and Survivor. It's Frontier House on pbs. It was origianlly run in april, but I missed it. It's being rebroadcast, only two episodes have been shown so far, so if you start now, you can easily get caught up. If you're not watching it, you're dumb.

I know my view about this is in the minority. Hmm. Wonder if I care. Nope.

I've never had a problem with thin beautiful women (or men) being the focus of advertising. Personally, I pay so little attention to advertising, it's ineffectual anyway. But people get so up in arms about the images advertisers are portraying to our children. This article says:

"Viewing television commercials containing images of the unrealistic thin-ideal for women caused adolescent girls to feel less confident, more angry and more dissatisfied with their weight and appearance" .

Uh huh. And viewing commercials for The Broker makes me feel like a lousy cook. Not. Viewing commercials for Village Homes makes me want to throw rocks at my house. Nope again. Of course advertisers are going to use the pretty people and things to tout their wares. They're hoping that giving you something nice to look at will help you remember their product and plant a thought in your brain that if you use the product, you'll be pretty and hip too.

I'm sorry, but if you're that susceptible to suggestion, you've got a lot bigger issues than body image. If you aren't absolutely sure that the imges portrayed in advertising are the "ideal" then you're ignorant. Should we have obese, unattractive, pimply faced women touting lipstick, because they're more "real?" Please.

We're bombarded with ideal images all over the place, not just advertising. Do you work with someone who has an "Unrealistic thin-ideal" body? I do. Do you know someone that has a beautiful home? Me, too. Should we rant and rave about the unfairness of that because it makes us feel bad? Should we make it illegal for anyone to make us question ourselves because they have what we want?

We have an obligation to build up our children (and our friends, really) beyond appearance and to encourage and foster self esteem consistently. If girls are "less confident, more angry and more dissatisfied with their weight and appearance" for viewing advertising, that is a sad state of affairs indeed.

Maybe you could accept yourself for the fabulous person you already are. Or maybe, if you're unhappy with your appearance, you could actually do something about it. Wow, novel idea.

Oh dear, my webpage is gone. So are my pics. We knew it was coming, let's not get all weird about it. I will have everything up on my new space soon.

Just watched Monster's Ball. Was good, but mostly because I love Billy Bob. He really reminded me of Dan in this movie, lookswise and attitude too. Mark mentioned the same.

This morning I took Emma to see a sneak preview of Stuart Little2. She was an angel of course, amidst the throngs of brats. I thought it strange that the place was nearly filled with Hispanics. I don't have a problem with that, I just thought it was weird. I got my tickets from work, from the PR department. Where do other people get free sneak preview tickets? Where do Hispanics get them? Is that a weird thing to wonder?

Tomorrow I hope is a chill day. We are seeing some friends tomorrow night at a new great place we've found. Nothing major, just a pint or two..but it'll be fun. We love this great place, called the Cheshire Cat Brewpub. They brew their own beer there, and they bill themselves as a british style pub, with a british style restaurant too. Pretty authentic from what we've seen so far. Fun place.

So I've stayed awake for two movies in one day. Also took Daniel for a haircut, and went to the laundromat. Boy did that suck. Hot, sweaty, dirty and full of gross people with more bratty kids. One lady was in there with two kids, niether one had shoes on (god, I REALLY hate that), their feet were so dirty they were black, and the girls hair was so matted it would have taken an entire bottle of conditioner or something to smooth it out. She had the remains of a meal on her face, and ate 3 candy bars while I was there. They were running around yelling and arguing. I was so disgusted and grossed out, I couldnt help but give the mother obvious dirty looks. Certainly I'm no hollywood type, but jeesus, my kids at least always had shoes on in public. I need a washer and dryer.

I also went to arc and spent 63 dollars. It is difficult to spend 63 dollars at arc. But I found some great work clothes, a couple of things for Emma (of course) and even some stuff for kt. I also found a new "massager" (cough) in case something happens to big red. Big Red is the greatest thing since sliced bread. It's kind of like this but it's bigger and it's red. Theurapeutic? You betcha.

Someone is cooking something. I gotta go see what it is.


The lists are coming in -

"Very funny-"mensa" that's mean, I'm smart mom, I'm in college, I have a 3.0. Anyway, I'm going to try this, it sounds fun but mine will probably be dumb.

I know you're smart, you're just a ding dong. But the cutest smartest ding dong ever.

1. I don't have cancer, an irregular heart rhythm or lupus, I feel so healthy!
2. I'll just skip doing my makeup today.
3. Can we rent one of the Rocky or Star Wars movies?
4. Why don't you put in that Carpenters CD. (by the way mom, I considered that torture, so did Katie)
5. I really want to get a cat.
6. I don't have time to watch Oprah or Martha Stewart today.
7. I really don't need another pair of shoes.
8. My boobs are too big.
9. Can I peel the dead skin off your previously sunburned back?
10. The "F" word (I tried to make myself say it once when I was alone in my car but I just couldn't)

Blade buddy Art:
Top 10 things you wont hear me say

#10 - I think I'll have onions and green peppers in my omelet
#9 - Sure hun a Lifetime chick flick sounds like good TV
#8 - Lets go visit your family dear
#7 - I wanna go to church today
#6 - Yes I can baby sit for you today
#5 - Beef, It's what's for dinner
#4 - Can you put the radio on a Rap station
#3 - I don't carry a knife
#2 - I need to register this hand gun
#1 - Lets go shopping

(nell note - these are a riot!

Denman: (wow - nice note...thank you)

1. No
2. I don't think I'd like to try that, it looks dangerous
3. Those damn unions, all they do is make people lazy and take away their initiative
4. Chocolate? UG!
5. You're right, that just isn't worth arguing about
6. Can't you just do that yourself?
7. Ooooh, Kenny G, now that man has SOUL
8. If only I had a brand new car, then my life would be complete
9. Buckle up, you can never be too safe
10. That is NOT what that tool was designed to do, stop it.



10. Celine Dion. I celebrate her entire catalogue.
9. Maybe what I need is a ... pet?
8. I could give up caffeine any time.
7. Does this make me look fat?
6. I'm a people person.
5. I can't decide who's the best American president? George W. Bush or Ronald Reagan.
4. Some of my best friends are Republicans.
3. I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian.
2. Reading is for sissies.
1. I wasn't being facetious.

These are so fun!

And finally Laura:

1.Not tonight, I have a headache.
2.I have enough _______ (fabric,plants,seeds,sex, art, paint,paper, dogs..).
3.I wish you would tell me about every haircut you have ever had in your boring life.
4.What diet are you on?
5.I've been thinking of moving to the suburbs.
6.That's too kinky.
7.I don't know how to make that.
8.I don't want to know.
9.Sure-I'll come right over!
10.I wish Di would move back in with us.

Oh my god, I was rolling reading these, you guys are such good sports...


This auction is the craziest thing.

Here's a snip:

" divorce is causing a HUGE money problem... and I DON"T EVEN HAVE AN ATTORNEY!!! (I can't afford one). This brings me to the reason for my auction..."
"... I'm broke, living with some friends, borrowing money every day..."
I almost lost my life in all this, AND I have some debts to some stand-by-me-friends that need to be paid off. I saw a movie one time called "Pay It Forward", and it so impressed me that I want to use that concept to perpetuate whatever kindnesses have come to me... "

The reserve is $1000.00!!.

Whee, it's Friday. All week we're looking forward to it. Now it's here and I'm trapped in the most insane household ever. There are 7 people in the house, 4 of which are teenagers. (Katie, Charlie Daniel and a friend). 2 adults and a 4 year old.

Not counting the animals, Schatze (cat), Louie (oversized rat - he's so huge and gross), Tanya (albino gerbil that destroys anything you put in her cage), Picky, Aitra and Aiwa, (3 tiny mice), and a host of beta's, my sons passion. (a 2 year old one just died today..sniff).

Emma is running around squealing with a brand new container of "m's" (m&m's) and Charlie is chasing her all over the kitchen. Have you ever said "I'm gonna get you..!" to a 4 year old?! They flip out.

I'm eating frozen pizza (ok, I cooked it first though) because we ate dinner too early, and drinking a Mr. Misty from Dairy queen, cause it's so damn hot.

But everyone's together, and that's the fun part.

Stole this idea from This blog But I changed some of them, so technically it's not stealing.

Ten Things You Will Never Hear Me Say

1. Coffee? No thanks.
2. I think I'll go for a jog.
3. Please pass the spinach.
4. Could you put the Barry White CD on?
5. Flip it over to Star Trek, will you?
6. Hold the mayo.
7. Look how clean my oven is!
8. No thanks, I don't eat dessert.
9. I wonder if I should iron this.
10. Wow, I stayed awake for a whole movie.

Make your own list and email it to me, and I will post it here. C'mon, it'll be fun. I'll start you off:


1. You're right
2. I need a shower
3. I'm going to get a haircut
4. Get me up at 6, would you?
5. I feel so inadequate

1. I think I will paint all my walls white

1. I've got to get rid of some of this stuff.

1. Pass me the A1 and a steak knife.

1. I miss Daniel

1. I'm just gonna sit and do nothing for a while.

1. I'm late for my Mensa meeting.


I think blogger is a fucker today. Nothing is publishing. I need lunch. Im sleepy.

A 5 inch clit isn't a clit, btw. It's a dick.

Ok well, let's try not to have any depression here today, danggit.

Had the greatest ceiling time last night, lasted so long there wasn't time for anything else, if ya know what I mean. But damn, it was wonderful.

Katie is going to Santa Fe next week with my sister, under duress. Not that she doesn't want to go, but she knows she'll miss Charlie, and that's just not fun at all when you're 16 and head over heels. I haven't really seen a whole lot of Kt lately, she's been busy with Char, and I've been busy doing stuff too.

Mark just left to go get Emma, a 2 hour drive each way. Dy said Emma's really been testing her this week, clinging and whining and being a general 4 year old. Whee! Hand me the Xanax, please. Im taking her to a sneak preview of Stuart Little 2 tomorrow morning. Oh, boy. A theater full of Emma types. Make that 2 Xanax. And a quaalude. And 4 Bicardi Silvers, please. To go.


Just got off the phone with Dan, talking about Jeremy. I have a lot more information than I had before, and it seems maybe his mom isn't doing too well, although his brother is doing worse. Josh is suffering from severe denial, Dan said even up until the last minutes, Josh refused to believe that Jeremy was sick enough to die. Now he's just withdrawn from everyone and is barely speaking.

Jeremy was diagnosed on May 10, 2002 and died July 5, 2002.

56 days.

The cancer spread so fast and so hard that they barely had time to do any treatment at all. He had two runs of chemo, which did absolutely nothing except make him sicker. After the last run of chemo, the docs sent him home with a daunting constant dose of morphine, and told his family that they were one of the lucky ones, they had a little time to say goodbye. they gave him two weeks, he lasted 10 days.

His cancer was called neural endochrine sarcoma. Dan said the docs told the family only 1 in 13 million had ever been on record with the same cancer. Nothing had ever been found to treat it successfully.

Dan said at the funeral they had his snowboard on top of his casket.

An important fact I didn't know until today was that he had a fiance. She's 8 1/2 months pregnant, due next week.

Im so sad.

From The Bakersfield Californian:

Jeremy Stancliff
Services: Tuesday, July 9, 3 p.m. Wednesday, July 10, 9:30 a.m.

Memorial services will be held at Riverlakes Community Church, 4301 Calloway, Bakersfield, on Tuesday, July 9 at 3 p.m. and Graveside services, Wednesday, July 10 at 9:30 a.m. in Greenlawn Memorial Park, 3700 River Blvd.

Jeremy went home to be with the Lord on July 5, 2002. He died peacefully at home surrounded by his family.

The son of Marty Stancliff and Shelley Hatcher was born on January 13, 1981 in Bakersfield. He attended local schools and started welding after he completed high school. Welding was his passion. He was recently employed at Tiger Tanks where he was well respected and loved. He was a loyal hard worker, who put pride in the work he did. He became very ill in May with a rare type of cancer. It was difficult to see Jeremy suffer through this but he assured us that he was the strong one and would do this for all of us. He never blamed anyone with his illness but gave praise to the Lord for the time he felt good during this difficult last 6 weeks. Jeremy accepted the Lord into his life and has always believed that everything happens for a reason. We may not fully understand it yet but we take comfort in knowing this was Gods plan. We can also be assured that death does not conquer those who die in Christ. (1 Cor. 15:22, 53-56.)

Jeremy enjoyed life. He loved dirt bike riding, snow boarding, the art of tattoos, drawing, music and spending time with family and friends.

Jeremy is preceded in death by his grandfathers, Daniel P. OShea and Wilfred Eddie Stancliff. He is survived by his parents, Marty Stancliff and Shelley Hatcher; stepmother, Denise Stancliff and stepfather, Steve Hatcher; fiancé, Amber Caulfield, and unborn daughter, Faith Haley Stancliff; one brother, Joshua.


I might as well address the tagboard hatemail, I got nothing else going on.

Don't post my real name online? What are you, kidding? I monitored internet chat rooms - for a living. I've posted more than 1700 posts to a single forum. I've had several web sites. I've webmastered other's web sites. My name is all over the goddamn net. I should be scared? Of what? Some internet savvy rapist is gonna look my name up in the phone book and come to my house and slice my throat? Bring it on, I've got better knives than you've ever seen in your fucken life. First you'll have to get through the mob of scary teenagers blocking the front door in their lawn chairs, tho.

Get with it, man. I bet you're afraid to give out your credit card number online too, huh.

Move along, there is nothing to see here.

Im gonna redo the recommended list, a totally different way. I dont know how yet, but I gotta. There's too many good blogs out there that I want you to read.

God, I am so busy at work, I have to work on the Board minutes at home.

This is torture. I don't wanna. I wanna go watch tv. I need a drink. It's dark in here. I'm hot.

Did you guys read Uncle Bob today? If you've ever been remotely near a child of toddler age, you will love it.

Here's Laura's tagboard message cause she cant keep it to 200 characters. lol.

"I had a very good friend that used to bust me for this--She used to say "Laura, asking why is just another futile attempt to control the uncontrollable." She was always right--she was that wise... Except that now I would add that's it's also a way to duck responsibility for the things that we CAN change. Susan would be proud..."
So true, so true.

Someone is writing in their blog about someone they know that has a brain tumor. I'm not posting the link, cause I don't care for his blog, and think you probably wouldnt either. He's writing about a pregnant woman who is "talented successful, attractive, nice..blah blah blah" She is getting treatment, and the prognosis is good. I wish her the best, of course..but what bothers me is his "why oh why" attitude. It's naive and immature. And people that wring their hands and whine about shit that is out of their hands is highly irritating.

Shit happens. Shit happens to nice people, sometimes deservedly so. Call it Karma, God, mojo, tit for tat, reap what you sow - whatever. We do things that invite problems and trouble into our lives. We all have problems. Some of us have big problems.

Maybe I'm callous, maybe I'm desensitized. But I think I'm realistic. Why oh why, he says. Well, why the fuck are there kids locked in their bedrooms right now while their parents drink, shoot up and ignore them? Why are children sitting in their own shit developing multiple personalities to deal with the neglect? Why do people slap babies for crying? Why can't good people who's hearts ache every night for want of a child have one? Why do 20 year old Jeremy's get cancer? Cause they just do. Bad things happen to good people. And bad people, too.

Concentrate on coping. And act, if you're so inclined. Wringing your hands just makes them raw.

I find good blogs, and I just have to tell you about them.



and Dy will love

Go here and see what blogchalking is all about. Then you'll see why I had to post this mess:

Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, United States, Arvada, Danelle, Female, 36-40!

As you were.