Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...


With Tracy in the background cheering me on, I have comments. Let's all give it a go.

So do I lose the tagboard? I dunno, maybe.

My site meter tells me that these are the things people have typed into search boxes, that lead them here, to my blog. Insane.

See my wife fucking (I'm almost positive I never talked about that, my wife would get really pissed off)
Pictures of my ex-wife ( whose?)
Online booksales (undoubtedly)
Danelle (scary)
best tire prices in my area (huh?)
What am I going to do with my life (We all wish we knew the answer to that)
Fucken swingers now (right now?)
used pool table in St. Louis for sale (oh, if only I'd known)
And -
stinky hunks of shit (is there any other kinds of hunks of shit?)

I thought I was weird.

I had to go change a couple of things on the 100 things site cause just in a short amount of time, some things have changed. Since the road trip, the number of states I have been in has nearly doubled from 9 to 17. And..I was reading through some of the other items, I changed some of them just because.

It's a strange feeling, seeing 100 things about yourself on paper. It's like this is who I am. Warts and all. Some of it is sad or icky to think about. Some of it is melancholy. A lot of it brings back memories that still sting a little.

And totally off the subject..where's serendipity for chrissakes?

Two new guestmap signers, so howdy doo to Cassy at random thoughts and of course, Newton, who I mentioned on the tagboard. Check out the "list" feature on the guestmap to see their nice comments. If you come here to read and want to say hi, please sign it yourself. It's such a fun way to see who's dropping in, and then I get to read some new blogs when they post their links too.

I'm sure most of you have seen the infamous website of Carlos and his redneck neighbor. (link is down occasionally, keep trying, it's worth it). Well, my friend Art over there at bionicle has his own real life version going on. He calls him Mr. Nut. lol! He sent me some pictures today of this whacked out redneck neighbor, I hope he posts them so everyone can see what he's living next door to. His descriptions are enough tho, check it out.

I have spent the entire evening on the couch doing absolutely nothing. Dozing, coughing, sneezing. That's been the highlights.

The trip to Fairplay for the Emma transfer (a four hour trip, twice a week) was grueling. Neither one of us thought we would make it. Mark drove there and I drove back, both of us groaning and complaining the whole way about how shitty we felt. I did manage to take some beautiful pictures of the leaves changing in the mountains. The Rockies are so pretty this time of year. Emma was very happy to see mommy and tell her all about her tooth pulling experience.

Watched a string of bad tv - Cheaters, police videos, and world's most shocking something or other. Ate nothing of substance but instead grazed on popsicles, m&m's, diet coke and ice water.

I'm so excited about Newton over there on the tag board coming here from Spyderco-land. I was just thinking tonight about how distant I'd become from all my knife buddies online. I havent been to my favorite blade haunts in some time, and I miss some of them. After going to Atlanta in June to meet so many of them, you'd think I'd make a better effort to keep in touch. Time to mend some fences and get back on track with them. And no, I haven't written the magazine article yet. I suck.

This week already has too many plans. Going back to Mark's condo, going to apply for a couple of jobs, Amanda's 21st birthday, Kt dentist, Kt driving test (ack, she's not ready!) etc. etc. I'd like to see my mom soon, and call my dad too. Bleh.

Tomorrow we are going book buying. The books we picked up last week at Sally Army have already paid for themselves. That's good news. We have to pour on the effort to things that are keeping us afloat.

It's late, I'm sick. Headed to Nyquil-ville.


Would someone smart please offer to do comments on here for me, then show me how to maintain it? I really cannot figure it out.

"What's this?"
"It's a salad fork."

Good lord, are you people watching Anna Nicole? The critics hate this show. Lots of people hate this show. Most view her as an empty-headed dumb fuck. She's anything but, really. I've always watched the show with a kind of "car-wreck" mentality. It's really really horrible, but you can't look away.

But lately I've gained a lot of respect for this woman. I find her endearing and yet sedated. I feel sorry for her more than anything else, she has a hard life, truly. The broadness between her Hollywood self and her home self is huge. Tonight she went from being glamorous and witty on the Tonight Show, to driving home in the limo, demanding that they pull over so she can get a pickle somewhere.

She walked out on a radio station interview where the DJ's asked her such things akin to: "Why have you gotten so fat?" "Are you on drugs?"
Granted, as I said above..I find her personality to be "sedated". She reminds me of someone on serious downers, but she's not. That's her. All the time. She was so offended at the DJ's line of questions that she up and left after just a couple of minutes. I think that was a pivotal moment when I started thinking differently about this show. I liked it before for it's car wreck quality, but now I like it because I just like her.

Her country bumpkin cousin visited this week, she's a cartoon in and of herself. She was missing an entire row of teeth, and wondered why the hell they gave her all those forks in the restaurant. When she first arrived no one would talk to her and she stood at the front door all afternoon. She was so pathetic and larger than life..Howard finally talked Anna into taking her out to dinner. She talked incessantly. She talked animatedly about how her ob/gyn sexually abused her. Her demeanor and personality lended itself to a made-up, acted out stereotype of stupid southern women. Laughable. I was awed that women like existed that were so left out from society (who's, ours?) and clueless. Forgotten, really.

I'm pretty sure Anna Nicole gave her some money when she left, there was a knowing exchange that seemed to convey as much.


We're all so sick. The living room is a war zone of pillows, blankets, coffee cups, soda cans, tv remotes, tissues, etc. etc..
Katie is walking through the house with the collar of her shirt up over her nose and mouth...she's the only one who isn't sick. We have meddies, tho. It's keeping us sane.


Everyone is sick.

Daniel is just getting over it, Me, Emma and Mark are just getting it. Achy, coughing, sniffling, creeping crud. Stay away. It's nasty.

There's been new guestmap cool! go fish, and starving artist. Glad to see ya, don't be strangers anymore!

Tomorrow is Emma-go-home day. She'll be happy to see mommy after all this tooth business. She's got the teeth in a little box under her pillow tonight. What will the Tooth Fairy bring? heh.

Amanda will be 21 next week. Cripes. I'm farkin old.

This was interesting. 100 words that every high school graduate and their parents should know.

At susan*jayne's suggestion I went and got that cute little penguin clock above my picture from angelic network. Click the clock to get one for yo'seff if you are so inclined. There's about 30 different styles to choose from. Fun.

Already 2pm on a Saturday and I haven't even showered yet. I need to take Daniel for a haircut and run to get more cough meddies. Emma ended up actually sick sick , throwing up this morning (no not in the toilet, thank you very much), coughing fiercely, and generally feeling pukey. She's now is sleeping on the couch. Baby woes.

I took too much Nyquil last night and ended up feeling speedy. Funny how medicine that you take to help you rest will do that. My mind was racing, and every noise and nuance was a major disturbance. I think I finally ended up falling asleep around 4:30.

I feel like doing something today, but I dunno what. Drinking hard liquor and abusing recreational narcotics come to mind. But will likely resort to too much coffee and a few ibuprofen.

Not a good end to a Friday.

Emma's doing fine, she ended up having major cold symptoms later, took some baby stuff and is out like a light, I hope it lasts. She said before she went to bed her mouth was "sore". Im having the same symptoms, took some Nyquil a bit ago and am feeling nicely disconnected.

Some of us ended up in an argument and a late night turned even later. I'm not sure where the problems lies yet, although the clash between Daniel and Mark seems to be the catalyst. I end up the bad guy for trying to explain Daniel's position and demeanor, maybe that makes the bad guy after all.

Now Daniel has landed himself grounded for tomorrow, which I hate to see happen, yet maybe it's appropriate. It's the maybe that's keeping me up.


The Coles are home. Emma's doing ok..a little groggy. She was in and out for about an hour, kinda "twilight zoneish". She's up a bit now, and just had some ice cream, and watching Noggin. Damn, those teeth had some awesome roots. I'll post a pic later. Batteries are a-chargin.

There's not a parent alive that doesn't identify with this:

(Blatantly stolen with permission from fussy.)

Fun things to do while both you and your one-year-old are sick.
1. Pin him down while he flails around and try to wipe the snot from his nose with your shirt.
2. Lie on your back on the floor all afternoon while he runs in and out of the room, occasionally bringing you:
(a) a bar of soap with a bite taken out of it
(b) a dirty sock
(c) a can of lighter fluid

Oh yea. I remember.

groan. I have to do this magazine article today and I haven't even started. I got an email from the Ed. last night and it just said "Crunch Time." Translated: Hurry up!

I have to also go back to one of the thrift stores we went to yesterday, we bought a buggy full of books and LEFT them there. We were so busy with the wonderful recliner we got for $5 that we forgot all about them. Luckily they are holding em. Sheesh.

Mark just left to take the midge to the dentist. They have to be there at 10 to start the sedation, even tho her appt isn't until 11, then I think it's a two hour appt after that. She was so chipper and in a good mood when they left, it made me sad that she might be hurting later. But I've got lots of goodies waiting when she wants em, stuff she wont have to chew and a movie "The Road to El Dorado" that I taped for her earlier in the week that she doesn't know about yet. Poor Mark's gonna be bored out of his mind, I'm sure..sitting there for at least 3 hours. Sent him with a cooler of sodas and snacks he can nosh all day.

Daniel has found his new niche with this Diamond Back bike he found at the thrift store. It was $6 and we found it elsewhere online for anywhere from 80 to 154 dollars! He had to buy new tubes for it, then got the chain totally screwed up but Mark fixed it. He also bought new grips for the handlebars which now makes the cost of the repairs to the bike more than the price of the bike itself.

He found some hills nearby where kids go to ride these bikes on hills and jumps, etc. He was gone from the time school let out yesterday until 9:00 at night, with a few "check in's" here and there. Scarfed dinner in about 5 minutes, did his chores in nothing flat and was *whoosh* gone again. I'm glad he found something fun like that to spend his free time on. He's always so damn bored. Did you know these style of bikes have no brakes?

Heading out now to the thrift store and grocery store. Promised Amanda a gift card from King Soopers to tide her over for a while.

Have a fun day!


Lots more thrift store shopping today. What's up - dunno. We act like we're employed or something.

The brit just left to go get the midge. Hm that sounds a little clandestine, doesn't it. The crow flies at midnight.

Im job searching and resume sending. I spend the first few hours of the day job hunting, then spend the rest of the day maintaining online sales stuff. Monitoring, packing, shipping..blah blah. It all adds up tho.

I have some appointments coming up, I don't want to talk about them tho. You know, jinx and all. I'll let you know if anything spectacular happens.

Tomorrow is Emma's first dentist appointment to get all her work done. Near as I can tell from the paperwork, she's having 4 teeth extracted tomorrow. Eeep. I'm going to go to the store in a bit and get some pudding, popsicles and applesauce type of stuff to have on hand. She wont be able to chew anything substantial for some time, Im sure. They're using concious sedation which seems like a good option. I did some reading on it and they say it feels like you've been asleep for the entire time, although you've actually been concious. It's recommended for small children having a lot of work done at once. I just hope she has a good night afterwards, and they give her something appropriate for discomfort in the days following. The work is costing a lot of money, (over a grand) but it's necessary, and urgent.

I remember when Katie and Daniel had a bout of bad dental problems for a time. The worst part (aside from the hundreds or probably thousands of dollars spent) was the stern "talking to" from the dentist about things that were rotting their teeth faster than all get-out. I was never so embarassed in all my life. They were not allowed soda (even sugar free, it's actually the combination of sugar and fizzy that makes it a huge problem), raisins (very very bad for your teeth, did you know?), candy and a bunch of other stuff. We had to switch to high calcium everything but amazingly, it worked. They still have dental "issues" now and then but they're few and far between and they've become much more diligent about dental hygiene, after everything they've gone through. We still buy non-soda drinks with calcium added and they take a supplement every day too. I, on the other hand are way behind in getting my teeth taken care of. Soon, soon. Gotta get Emma done and Katie's "failed" root canal fixed first. $Kaching$!

Well, that was fun. Dentistry 101 on this lovely Thursday afternoon. Tonight is Survivor, I should go take something out of the freezer for a yummy dinner.

Thanks for all the tag board messages, btw. Fun in a bun.

Guess what, he's back..and looking sexy again, huh Dy.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets opening November 15. Whee!

From escribitionist I read this blog. It's a journey through one man's divorce...from the very beginning. His wife..ack! Of course we have to keep in mind we are only getting one side of the story, but oh man...

Go check it out and if you like it, start at the beginning. It's a new blog, so it won't take but a few minutes to read it all. Fascinating. I could have written it myself not so long ago.

I will probably get kicked out of Blog land or something for posting so many pictures. Bandwidth! I need bandwidth! Anyway...

While Mark and I were driving home from Washington DC I got a sudden but unmistakeable bout of diarrhea. It hit me so suddenly, I was nearly crying till Mark could pull over. Thankfully, we were in a relatively populated part of Missouri. He pulled off quick and I ran into Texaco to get some Immodium and have a "sit". Well, this Texaco had only one bathroom for both men and women, and it was right off the you can imagine that it was a tad busy. I was not well. I made it out and into the car and hollered at Mark to find another bathroom where I could have some time. He pulled into McDonald's across the street and pulled out the newspaper while I ran inside.

But in my utter urgency, I saw something out of the corner of my eye as I ran in.


There were Amish people at McDonalds. a boy, and a girl. I'd never seen an Amish person in real life. Have you? Should it be weird to see them about? I couldn't think about it just yet. I finally got to a point in my immediate illness where I thought I could stand to get back on the road. Mark and I started talking about the Amish people and how weird it was. He pretended he didn't think it was that weird, but then he said:

"Take a picture"

I told him I didn't think that was allowed, and they already knew I was totally gawking at them anyway...but I was too tempted and took these 2 pictures. Mark disagreed when I said they arent supposed to have their picture taken, but when we got home we looked it up online and sure enough, it said they were against any photographs, as it appears to seperate and glorify one person over another. Whee.

This is all I could get:

Trish over at serenity quest mentioned Amish today and made me think of these two, and my childish gawking amid Montezuma's Revenge.


Great. We have rodents, you know. On purpose.

A big fat rat named Louie, a gerbil named Tanya and 3 mice named Picky, Aitra and Aiwa.

Louie is a big softie, nuzzling and closing his eyes when you scratch behind his ears. His favorite treat is pop tarts (See, even our rat eats em, kellycaldwell!). The mice are cute and fuzzy, busy bodies but pretty tame to hold. The spend their nights moving their bedding here and there, spinning in their wheel (yes all three at the same time) and running up and down the ramps in their cage.

Tanya is a strange creature. She's never been fond of human interaction, and eats/chews/destroys anything and everything you put in her cage. Her food bowl is mostly chewed, she has a plastic 3-story condo in her cage that she refuses to leave upright, preferring instead to continue to knock it over and make it a ranch style. She has chewed this too, modified it to make the windows bigger, and chewed thoroughly all around the roof. Her cage also has a piece of pvc pipe that is gnarled to bits.

Tonight Daniel had her out for a while, and she started to bite him. He hollered and Mark jumped over to help. He grabbed Tanya by the tail (approved method) and she got away and Mark was left with this in his hand:


Here's Tanya now, with her abbreviated tail(yes the bone is still sticking out..I'm so grossed out):

(That white mangled thing in the front is her food

The excitement never ends.

Well, we had a fun thrift store kinda day. Spent not a lot of money on some really fun stuff. Got these beads for little miss you know who:

and also this gorgeous little coat, also for the midget:

and of course, we can't let the midgets piggies get cold:

All of that was under $11 all together.

Also got 4 pairs of these brand spankin new (but not midget sized) boots at Goodwill, and I came home and promptly listed them on ebay.

Also found some Richard Simmons tapes for Katie, some jeans for mark, and a great DiamondBack BMX style bike for Daniel for 6 bucks.

Days like this make ya feel rich.

Speaking of, had some great ceiling time this morning that made me feel absolutely on top of the world.

This is kinda cool, courtesy of the Presurfer. Surfing so we don't have to.

"On June 17 of each year since 1976, we photograph ourselves."

Yes it's nearly 3am. I'm going to bed, really. My contacts tell me so.

If you read melly or jhames you'll know that portia just left Denver today; she's on a road trip from Florida to Washington state. Hooking up with bloggers along the way for lodging and fun. She's having the best time, and it was fun to see what she had to say about Denver.

To our Consumers:
BATTLE CREEK, Mich. -- Kellogg USA of Battle Creek, Mich., is recalling a limited number of Kellogg'sĀ® Smart StartĀ® cereal club store packs because they may contain undeclared almonds and milk. People who have an allergy or severe sensitivity to egg, milk, soybeans or almonds run the risk of serious or life-threatening allergic reaction if they consume these products.

"Honey, aren't we supposed to put the milk in ourselves? And correct me if I'm wrong, but are these bipartisan almonds?"

(Found that when I went to go find this picture..and it made me giggle) anyway....that said...

this is my new favorite hobby:

I can't keep it in the house. We've gone through several boxes in just a few weeks. I eat it 2, 3 times a day. It has real strawberries in it. Mark discovered it yesterday and my 3/4 full box is 2/3 gone. You have to eat some.

Trish did an amazing post, using a buncha links comprising the body. Very silly and fun - and a lot of work! I found some new reads there, to be sure. Check it out.

I have a new page of pics and stuff from the road trip last week. I'm going to try to get it up tomorrow. Might be fun.

Katie and Charlie went to another indie movie last night but didn't like this one and left early. I checked out the local indie movie houses schedules and there's a couple I'd like to see too...but I'm sure that would totally out of the question to ask her to go with me.

Speaking of kt...she drove some tonight as we went errand hopping. Scary, very scary. She needs practice. She said Amanda told her "whatever you do, don't let mom teach you how to drive. She just screams and freaks out." I freak out because we're doing things like careening and swerving and screeching. Our heads are more than bobble dolls at each stop light. It's more like a pseudo whiplash maneuver. Our heads were snapping back and then forwards at every stop. The concept of braking because there are others braking ahead of you seems foreign. She's driving around and she keeps saying "oops." "sorry". "yikes."

Oops sorry yikes is right.

If you have a minute, go to your email and wish dietchick a Happy Birthday.


Today's been relatively busy..but with petty stuff.

A shower a deux (love those) a p.o. run, then hit arc (found another basket, Dy!), the pet store and the grocery store. Finally got dinner going around it'll be a late one. Which is ok, because we've been staying up late late lately. lol Barbequed ribs and homemade crab (ok krab) salad.

Finished my book a few days ago (She's Come Undone) and now trying to get back into "Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant" that I started before we left on our trip. It's slow going. Plenty of other books to choose from here, I have "The Pilot's Wife" and "We Were The Mulvaney's" lined up next. Really I just feel like laying on the couch with a blanket up to my chin, remote in hand.

I'm supposed to be writing an article for a friend that is the owner/editor of a national knife magazine, but I'm uninsprired as yet. He's given me very little direction which to some would be a good thing. It makes me feel unmotivated not to have a specific topic. I'm the only female he has writing, so that's the perspective he wants. Maybe I will work on it tonight. I'm coming up with all kinds of excuses not to.

quote of the day:
"Be nice to your peepee!"


Some people are just assholes.

And some people get mad about the stupidest petty shit. Who cares, I mean really. Is it worth a fight? Is it really worth putting off someone because of that petty fucking irritant? You think you aren't irritating?

Blah day.

Moving and shaking going on at the ol' blogroll.

Library people continue to visit. Let's play the "find myself in Nell's blog" game.

A - please. We only nod and smile to get you to shut up. $1000 dress? "Hello, I'm a pretentious bitch."
M - 144,000 beans and counting. You gonna make it in the big quickbooks in the sky? Don't count on it. You guys got it all wrong. I'll wave.
L - Yes, this is my real ass. But my laugh is manufactured.
B - Did you leave your upper lip on the farm somewhere? Yee haw.
B - Get that stick out of your ass. Don't break a nail doing it tho.
M - Never was there a more pious woman that roamed the planet. Get a job, lazy ass. Your family ain't all that, believe me.
P - Just shut the fuck up already. Leave the baby talk to the babies.
R - It's time to go. You're done. You messed it up and now it's over. I can't wait to laugh at the next round of cuts, cause you know it's coming, geek boy.
G - What a worthless waste of upper echelon. Write a book someone will read next time.

Ok. that's out of my system for now.

A howdy dooty to Tracie from Madrianna's Journal (by invitation only..kinda kooky)
who came by and said nice things on the guestmap.

Also to positivenegativ and Tyler at Just another day who signed the guestmap and are linked over there. There. No..further..lower..lower. Yea, there.

I think I will go watch a movie. You can do that at midnight in the world of the unemployed-and-still-being-paid. buwaha.


No dinner, no pool. Vegging...and that's cool with me.

Am watching the emmy's, Six Feet Under is getting skunked and it is not pleasant. Scoundrels.

Forgot, we also watched "15 minutes" last night and "Monsters, Inc" yesterday afternoon. Stayed awake, uh huh.

Tomorrow - more boredom, job hunting and whatever else interesting I can find to do.

For the record, I have stayed awake for multiple movies this weekend. Watched "Screwed" on cable (skip it), "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (dont miss it) on the computer, and "My Life as a House" (bring a tissue) on cable today.

We took Emma home to Mommy's today..I wasn't quite ready for it to be non-Emma day again so soon. She "fills the house" as Mark says. I'm already missing those multiple baskets of toy kitties everywhere, and the pieces of pop-tarts left here and there. Emma time passes too quickly.

Daniel is at Emily's, they are becoming quite the couple. They went to a football game together on Thursday night, and tonight are watching a movie at her house. I got a good glimpse of her today, cute..plain.

Katie and Charlie went to more indi movies last night at the college downtown. She said they were all weird and kinda creepy, but that they loved them. Tonight they are hanging at Charlies doing homework..yee haw.

Mark and I are heading out to find new places to play pool and drink decent beer. I'm pushing for dinner too, we'll see.

Sometimes Emma conversations are the ones that give me the most perspective.

I love you Nell.
I love you too.
Who else loves you, Nell?
Katie, and Daniel.
And dont forget about Daddy. Daddy loves you a lot.
I wont forget...thank you.

Can I have a pop-tart, Nell?

It's been a weird weekend. Chained to the house because of having a yard sale, and also tempering ourselves because of having money worries. It makes me feel lazy and unmotivated. We're going to go find a pool table and a beer tonight, maybe that will help.

Emma's been on anti-biotics for her teeth, the big work begins next week. She's been a champ about taking her medicine, a little whimpering when we say it's time to take it, but then it's quick and over, and there's no tears. Quite a relief since the ordeal goes on 3 times a day.

We've been doing a lot of talking this weekend about "how things are". I feel like there's been ground won and lost. What's sad is that we are so wary to let go completely because of what others have taken out of us in the past. Other people in our lives got the best of us that leaves us with very little to share with someone who deserves it. We both admit that this is the best we've ever had, and neither wants to lose it. We just have to work through the scars left by parents, children..and the past.


It's been a tiring couple of days. Dentists then more dentists. We had a yard sale..again tomorrow.

Daniel went to Dans, Katie and Charlie went to another movie. Mysteries of Picasso. Tomorrow another one. They've gotten so into going to free documentaries around town. Isn't that fun?

I'm almost done speed reading (practically) "She's Come Undone". I highly recommend it. And considering I read almost exclusively non-fiction, that's actually quite a compliment to the book. Rarely do I find a novel that can hold my attention, for some reason.

Bed...I really need my bed.


Survivor was great. More about that later.

Watching Anna Nicole. I'm so hooked on this show. It's so bad.

Should we talk about literary type folks in code names? Or just leave all that alone.. What do you guys think? I'm torn. I have plenty to say.

It's Emma day, that's fun in a bun.

Some guy came over to look at my Corsica that I've got up for sale. We all laughed when he started it up and it sounded like a bus. Mark got really mad at Daniel for saying "good luck starting it.." lol.

Daniel is seeing Emily again tonight. They are going to the football game at school. Her parents are picking him up in about half an hour, so I'll get to see what she looks like and meet the folks.

Katie is at the dentist, and he just called to say he found an old filling in her back tooth that has "failed" and that she will need a crown there too. Ka-ching! Emma goes to the dentist in the morning, hers will be substantially less expensive, I'm sure.

Off to do dinner. 50 minutes to VIVOR.

I've decided that if library folks are going to continue to lurk..(I do have a paid site meter you know..I know exactly who you are, where you are and what time you're surfing here. Get back to work you Ball lovin slime sucking sloths!) I might as well give them something to talk about. Except right this minute I am going to arc and then take katie to the dentist. Stay tuned.

29 days until the fucking BALL which I do not have to go to. Whee! Slip on those stupid duds and slave away, mofos. oooh, I am laffing at you idiots.

Survivor Tonight!

Stumbled onto a site called Lamp of Hope. It lists a hundred or so death row inmates in the United States who are seeking pen pals. Each inmate details themselves in a short bio, to convince you to write to them. What I found most humorous was their listing of "hobbies". Nearly 100% list the same things.


That's pretty much it for them, isn't it? What else is there to do? I mean they can't exactly list their hobbies as:

The Internet

Just something to ponder.

Oh thank God.

Six Feet Without Rachel Griffiths
HBO's multiple Emmy-nominated Six Feet Under will start its third season without Golden Globe-winning Best Actress Rachel Griffiths. Even though Griffiths' Brenda is one of the lynchpins of the show, the season will go at least four episodes before Brenda makes an appearance.

Lynchpin smynchpin.



I don't know what's going on but it's not pleasant. I think it's just a general leave-me-alone day but it's coming across as a fuck-you day. Directed at me..not from me, let me clarify. I'm trying to just let the night go by without waves but it's hard not to make a few ripples.

I have to give out a few nods.

To RN at positivenegativ who came and signed the guestmap. I read her blog and lo and behold she had me linked there. How fun is that. The best thing about her blog is that she has nicknames for everyone. Like I used to do. You know, before. huh, Dy.

Also to Tyler at Just Another Day who signed in. Check out the "list" on the map to see them and their fun comments.

One more, to Ashley S. who wrote me this fun email:
Hi there... I was searching for a song called "Grasshoppers in my Pillow" and your site was brought up. (Because of your 100-things-about-you-list, having
mentioned grasshoppers and pillows.) Naturally, I was curious and read your whole damn site. I liked it, and I like your candor. and I love when people
make "lists" about themselves! Good job.

Among the muck, sunlight..inevitably.


Katie and Charlie are into documentaries. They rent them, watch them on tv..where-ever they can find them. Tonight they drove all the way up to CU in Boulder with about 10 of their friends to watch a free showing of The Two Towns of Jasper.
In 1998 in Jasper, Texas, James Byrd, Jr., a black man, was chained to a pick-up truck and dragged to his death by three white men. The town was forever altered, and the nation woke up to the horror of a modern-day lynching. In "Two Towns Of Jasper," two film crews, one black and one white, set out to document the aftermath of the murder by following the subsequent trials of the local men charged with the crime. The result is an explicit and troubling portrait of race in America, one that asks how and why a crime like this could have occurred.

We talked about it some when she got home. Her description of the movie made me so sad.

But glad I have a daughter that cares about such things.

Everyone is in a shitty mood and I have a headache.

So desperate for conversation, I actually talked to Dan on the phone for 20 minutes.


Well. Here we are. Home again home again jiggity jig.

1700 miles later and we're still speaking to each other. It was fun, actually. The car is great, no problems. We had a loose battery cable at one point and the car was just dead. But Mark fixed it and all was well. We did a lot of silly stuff and took a lot of stupid pictures. We hit every thrift store we could find. Most of the towns we meandered through were ropy at best. Some were downright scary. I don't feel like pouring out details, maybe later.

I have decided however that there is no logical reason for Kansas to exist.


Whee. We are in Columbia Mo. Population 14.

Having a great time, had a tiff yesterday and didnt talk to each other for about 400 miles. Yippeee. Oh, MArk says it was more like 200.
Had a fun night in St. Louis, went and had a beer and closed the place down at 11:20. Drove through the dregs of St. Louis today, scary.

Heading to Topeka tonight, then home tomorrow. See ya there.


I'm a soda drinking machine.

Something that I've always had a fondness for...'quotes taken out of context.' Strings of words which when heard alone convey a much different message than had they been heard with the entire conversation. I have a bunch of em on my website..which I've all but abandoned. So maybe they belong here.

Today's qtooc:
"Why'd you pee on the bed, Nell?"

Oh dear. Katie and Charlie just got here and Daniel is stressing all over her now. "What about these shoes?" "Should I wash this shirt?" That's gonna last about 4 seconds with her.

Feels weird. Lots of things feel weird.

Daniel is extremely weird and stressed out. He's been working on his bikes all day, which always makes him in a bad mood anyway. We had to go to the bike shop and get a $7 part and yet he still came home and bitched and moaned all the while trying to fix it. fixed, he went in search of a DIY carwash. He didn't find one..he came home really cheerful after that. Then he started going through his homecoming stuff and starts freaking out about his shoes. We never did find any the other day, so he's making do and he's not happy. He thinks his shirt is too big, blah blah blah. Cindi is gonna come over and get him to EMily's house tomorrow, thank God. I don't think I could take it.

And weird..getting ready to go on a trip, isn't it? I haven't traveled a great deal, but enough. More road trips than airplane trips..and this one is both. Trying to pack for the plane ride..and immediately after. Then also figure out what we need for 1700 miles of road. One of our carry-on's is a soft sided we'll have that for the trip back to stock with road foodie. I would like to pack a pillow and a blanket, but I have no idea where I'd pack it. We've packed travel coffee cups and water bottles, lots of reading materials and about 50 hours worth of mp3's and the player. I'm very excited.

Also weird is getting ready to go on a trip with someone so sweet and flexible. Very different than the road trips I've taken with Dan. High stress, and everyone walking on eggshells. Daniel is behaving just like Dan, as a matter of fact. lol. The slightest bit of stress or change sends them into a tizzy of worry and fret.

And also, feeling weird here on this page for reasons that would take me a long time to explain. An unconditional venue turned turned into another source of stress. Funny, how public this is yet I feel so invaded from uninvited literary looky loos.. Maybe the break from here will cure that. I guess the consolation would be that the people that I don't want to be here are people I care nothing about. So maybe it doesn't even matter. I will never look back to them with fondness, or memories that make me smile. Maybe by the time I get back they'll be back to their sad little lives on their sad little committees with their sad little lists. Meanwhile, some dishes are better eaten cold. You know what I mean.


Gotta pack a little more.

I have a filter on my email that sucks out spam and puts in a Very Special Place for me to look at later, and make sure none of it is real mail. I understand that spammers want youto think their mail is real, and open it. But then why do they have subject lines like this?

What's Up? bmljb2xlNjc5QGhvdG1haWwuY29t
Are we still going out? 23flfmg
Remember me? 23dlvbjk603

What the hell is that shit? And why the hell would they think *I* would think that's real email?

I dunno. Just pondering.

Errands galore today. Eye doctor, laundry, packing, grocery store for the kids, and going to mark's condo to clean the carpets. We are taking the SkyRide to the airport tomorrow so we have to leave at some ridiculous time to get there early enough to Sit Around And Wait.

I just ordered Emily's wrist corsage. I hope it's not huge or weird or anything. It's a two rose dealie, $10. That's not too bad, is it? Amanda mentioned coming over to talk some pictures before hand, which would be very nice, cause I'll have my camera with me, of course. I will be taking cheesy tourist shots from DC to Denver.

Katie is chasing a giant West Nile mosquito around the kitchen. Schatze, our usual bug catching kitty is looking at her with disdain.


It was time to leave the Library. Some stuff happened, some stuff didn't happen. Some stuff should happen that probably wont.

So now I am unemployed along with pretty much everyone I know. I have enough money to last a while, more than a'll be good. I have other irons that were already in the fire, so when we get back from DC I'll stoke those a bit.

Had a beer with Drew tonight, that was good. The only relationship I'm interested in keeping. The rest of the folks can take their phony smiles and their sad existence and do what they will.

I'm just so fucking glad I don't have to work at the Ball!!

T-36 hours and counting till take off. I'm still excited.

Mark is the best. I want everyone within shouting distance to know that.

I can't say anything right now, but I will. We'll be directed to a new url soon, will let you know by email.

And for the uninvited library folks who are peeping. Here's what you are looking for.

Well, a lot can change in a matter of minutes. But, it's all good.

Had taken this over to my new domain today but will leave it here for eyes that need to see. Enjoy. It's gonna be good.


Mm I'm just too sad to do this. Posted 4 or 5 of my "favorite" wtc pictures and some Im just too sad to do it anymore. Look here if you want to see what I managed to slop together.

Im going to have coffee with my honey, and nuzzle on the couch.

Everything seems to have a gray pallor today. I think that's a big reason I just wanted to come home. I went across the street to the Memorial Service they had in Civic Center Park at noon, and it was just so sad. The Flight 93 pilot was from Denver, so a lot of the focus was on that flight. They read the names of the people on just that flight and there were flight attendants on their knees crying in the aisle. I'm crying now just remembering how sad they looked. There was a 21 gun salute, bagpipes..and taps. I took some pictures. I'm working on a page I started just after September 11 last year. Some nice pictures, and some nice words. If I can get through it tonight, I'll post it. If not, maybe next year.


We went shopping for "homecoming" items a little while ago. Fun, and weird. So weird to see Daniel so concerned about a girl. Who, by the way made it a point to tell Daniel she was wearing a red dress. She obviously doesn't want the corsage that Daniel is to 'procure' to clash. cluck. cluck. Turns out she's having a party before homecoming. She asked Daniel if he could come and bring some of his friends. Heh. Besides the fact that we've only lived here for 2 months, Daniel doesn't make friends very easily at all. Has rarely had friends that he formed any sort of bond with. I actually can only think of maybe 1 or 2. Ever. So, we're not sure about the whole party before the homecoming deal. Katie says 'meet her at the dance'. And I say no, cause I know how little girls of 14 years are, and if they don't go together, she'll ignore him. I have 2 girls older than he is. They're evil.

I gotta go play Scrabble. Im feeling the winning vibe.

I am so tired.

Stayed up too late reading, why do I do that? I'm almost done with "The Accidental Tourist" and have loved every bit. Im dying to know if he goes with Sarah or Muriel. Im tempted to read the end.

We still cannot find our travel Scrabble.

I'm tempted to call Frontier and ask for a change of seat assignment. We are in the back..and after a 3.5 hour flight, I'm going to be scratching someone's eyes out to get off the plane. I have "non-mobility claustrophobia" which means that is highly uncomfortable to be sitting in an enclosed space where there is no air moving, or I am not in motion. I can't sit in an enclosed car, for instance. Riding in a plane is not an issue unless we sit for an inordinate amount of time without moving. Pre-flight is usually ok, because I am distracted getting ready to take off. But after landing, I get highly anxious and I feel like I must exit the plane immediately. When we flew to Atlanta we were in the Very Last Row and I thought I was going to lose it. People were taking fucking forever to get their shit and get out. I had to keep my head down and pretend I was somewhere else, all the while having every available air fan blowing on me. If I can feel air moving it somehow helps to trick my mind into believing I'm in motion. (That was the only thing a "mental health professional" ever told me that helped. By the way a phobia is not a mental illness, it's a learned response..) I know it's irrational and I know deep down nothing bad will happen, but I just can't get past the intense anxiety. On the way home from Atlanta we made a point to ask for a seat near the front, and we were in the second row, which was great.

So I'm just sitting here wondering how stupid it is to call Frontier and tell them I have to sit up front or I might freak out.

I added descriptions to everyone's blogroll link. You like? You want sucky sucky? What am I talking about? Oh god it's late. Ah, who cares. The Board minutes are done!

Now go read everyone's descriptions and go read something to expand your brain. That's enough LMAO or whatever it is you're doing!


Unbelieeevably tacky.

Received in my email an offer for a 9/11 commemorative watch. Aww, how nice. Take a look.

...and the comments in italics..

This is a replica of the watch that was sent to the President of the United States. (Oh thank God, someone that is a true IDIOT is wearing it.)

The inner dials are stopped at the moments the world was changed forever - one each for the assaults on our country. (Umm, wasn't there something about a plane in Pennsylvania? I dunno, maybe that was another terrorist attack. I'm getting them all confused.)

The date is stopped at September 11. (Perfect, it's already broken.)

The Motto of the United States, "In God We Trust," (Really?)
and the firm resolution, "United We Stand," are engraved on the bezel. But, in addition to all of that, there is a fully functioning movement in the heart of the watch. (That's supposed to redeem it - it keeps time for real!)

The main dial continues to keep time because -- like this great nation and its people -- time continues. The watch is colored in black, red, and white. Black for the sorrow and mourning we faced together, red in memory of the innocent lives that were lost, and white for the purity our country was built upon. (They must mean the gracious way we treated the Native Americans)

I dunno, call me cynical. Call me heartless. Call me a cab.

Bad enough:

Newport Beach, California - The son of an Orange County assistant sheriff and two other teenagers were charged with the videotaped gang rape of an unconscious 16-year-old girl on Friday. Prosecutors allege the teens drugged the girl before raping her on July 5 at the Newport Beach home of Assistant Sheriff Don Haidl. Haidl, Kyle Joseph Nachreiner and Keith James Spann, all 17, were charged as adults and have pleaded innocent to 21 felony counts that include rape, rape by a foreign object and administering a drug to incapacitate the victim.

Gregory Haidl, Kyle Nachreiner and Keith Spann appeared briefly in court for an arraignment, where they were ordered held without bail.

Outside the courtroom, attorney Joseph Cavallo, who represents Gregory Haidl, said of his client: "He doesn't have any criminal record," Cavallo told KABC-TV. "He's a model son. In fact, he helps his mother."

Oooh, well then...

But worse:

Haidl has now sued San Bernadino County for 100 million dollars because they stopped him from putting derogatory fliers about the victim in people's mailboxes, and asking for others with negative information about the girl to come forward. The San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department seized the fliers as part of an investigation into possible witness intimidation. One flier was placed in the alleged victim's mailbox and others were either posted or placed in mailboxes throughout her neighborhood, authorities said.

And still worse:

A blog I read occasionally wrote about this issue. He received emails from "interested parties":

From: B**********
Date: Mon, 9 Sep 2002 04:38:37 EDT


From: B**********
Date: Mon, 9 Sep 2002 04:42:03 EDT
Subject: HAIDL


Lovely people those Haidls. I bet he even helps his mom.

Just funny.

Kt: blah
Danelle: whats up doodle butt. how did the free lunch go
Kt: it went good. free.
Danelle: awesome. didja find out what a combo lunch is?
Kt: they have lots of choices, but i got these nasty chicken fried steak strips so that i could eat the mashed potatoes
Kt: they have like nachos and pizza every day and salad and then it changes every day for the other course
Kt: ya know
Danelle: cool.
Danelle: hey is Daniel supposed to get this girl a corsage for homecoming?
Kt: oh my gosh i have no idea
Danelle: mandi said he should
Kt: im so confused, i asked a bunch of people if he should take her out to eat
Kt: and they said some people do some people dont
Danelle: i asked him if he wanted to take her to eat and he said he prolly wont.
Kt: he might as well get her a corsage
Kt: better safe than sorry
Danelle: oh dear.
Danelle: we're so out of touch.
Kt: i know, were fucking clueless.
Danelle: we dont know how normal society operates.
Kt: we have no idea.


Here's some fun news. Daniel is going to homecoming. And she asked him.

Her name is Emily, and Daniel said she's "pretty cute." That's all we know. We've learned our lesson about asking Daniel about such things, there is a fine line between what he's willing to share, and a point where we've asked too much and he stops talking about it completely.

Unfortunately, the dance is this coming Saturday night..and I will be in my new wheels somewhere about 1700 miles from here. Charlie and Katie have graciously offered to do the chauffering that night, so he'll still get to go. I'm disappointed I wont be here..I hope she's nice to him and he has a good time.

We went out for a bit tonight. Actually hit about 5 bars but only stayed at 2. First we went to the Arvada Tavern, two empty pool tables and halfway decent beer. Mark said it was too "sedate." We went to the Grandview Grill and left when we saw only Bud and bud Light on tap there. lol. Pool table was full anyway. When we were leaving some bar fly goes "Y'all leavin? How come?" I said "crap on tap" and she looked Mark up and down and said "bummer." heh.

Finally settled again at the Club Corner, a place I haunted many moons ago when Dan and I lived near here. So-so beer, but the bar maid didn't know what a Bacardi Silver was. eek. Played pool there and it was fun. 6 tables! all empty.

Back to work tomorrow. Im behind. No, I don't have the Board minutes done yet.

Sunday night. I hate Sunday night. Sitting around thinking about the week ahead. Bleh. 6 days till DC. Yikes. We can't find our travel Scrabble.

Heading out to a new place tonight, gonna either try the Arvada Tavern or the Grandview Grill. Both divey holes in the wall, with pool tables. We really want to go back to the Rockette Tavern but they seriously have no drinkable beer. The exotic beers are heineken, fosters and rolling rock. Umm, no. The first time we went in they had Fat Tire, but now have decided to quit carrying it. Idiots. Bye. This is such a "I'll have a Bud Light with my mullet" town.

And the winner, of the "Worst Taste Award" for the Harvest Festival Parade is this gem:

Yes, that's the twin towers. On fire.

Thanks, Presurfer.


A snippet from an article From a fun little news source I like to read...

...circumcision on medical grounds seems like advocating that the most effective means of fighting plaque is to have your teeth removed."

amen...and that's all I'm gonna say.

We discovered a new wasps nest, in the windchimes Kt got me from New Mexico. They are hollow bamboo tubes, and we noticed a bunch of wasps going in and out of them all day. So, I got out my trusty wasp obliterator spray and went to town tonight after the sun went down. I got one drip on my bare foot and it burned like battery acid. A couple of wasps fell out of one of the tubes after I sprayed. They keep coming back, and I keep spraying.

I don't think I ever posted the pictures of the old nest:

gives ya the shivers, doesn't it.

and here's the rock wall in front of my house where the nest was:

buzz buzz.

My hair looks absolutely fabulous. Mark just shakes his head when I stand in the bathroom mirror and say "i just dont know how anyone could be as good looking as me". lol - hey, our esteem has to come from somewhere.

I've used the same haircolor for years and years...same brand, same shade. I waited far too long between times tho this time - it had gotten so dull..and I think that had a big factor in how unhappy I've been with my hair lately. It was so bland and blah. Now Im inspired again. Now it's the most lovely shade of blonde with just the tiniest touch of red. Fabulous.

And I started my period. Aren't we excited about that? Well, Mark is. I knew it was "coming" and he was worried he'd be driving 1700 miles across the country with a crabby bitch. Now I can just be a crabby bitch at home.

Can't believe we leave in a week. Awesome.

Well, what's wrong with little Frank Kay over there on the tag board? And is Frank a Frank..or a Kay? Do you have a pee pee or a woo woo, Frank Kay? He's so cute, isn't he? I could erase it but I'm gonna leave it there so his isp can read it. (Sent them a note after getting his isp from my site meter...) Besides, it makes me feel like Im back in Junior High and we all need to feel young again sometimes. Hi Frankie!

Just went to Gunther Toody's for dinner. that was fun, although I have to say it was the most listless Gunther Toody's I've been in yet. The garb was right on, but the attitude was dead. Zzzz.

Gonna go touch up my haircolor and watch some bad tv.


As promised, something interesting pertaining to 9/11..but a little off the beaten path.

Cynthia Malaran took pictures of the NYC skyline out her East Village bedroom window for two years. Pictures in the sun, the rain, at dawn, at dusk, at night. She took the same picture in every possible condition. It's a photo essay not to be missed. Don't skip ahead to the end.

Oh thank goodness. I hate to smoke alone.

We got these things at the Harvest Festival, little packets called "Child Identification Kit". It's a complex package that at first I thought was a good idea. Now I'm a little freaked out about it. It contains an envelope for you to put a few strands of your childs hair in..for DNA purposes. And a little stamp pad thing and a place for their fingerprints. You are to collect the hair and fingerprints in this kit and then take it to your local police department where they will "store the information in a National Database". The idea being of course that should your child ever turn up missing or god forbid, dead..that this will be a means to identify them. At first I thought "oh, cool."

Then I wondered if I would want my DNA in a National Database.

Maybe not.

Just got back from the Harvest Festival. Wow. A shell of it's former self. We went yearly when I was a kid, and it was magnificent. Every high school had a booth, and there was a big beer garden, a bingo tent, and on and on. Now it seems every booth is either a bank, or a candidate for something. Prices are a lot more reasonable then say, the Taste of Colorado..which is good. Emma roade a couple of rides and had a great time. She got two balloons, and only mismanaged one to the point of release. lol We stopped at 7-11 on the way home and got slurpees. We're such slurpee people.

I'm hoping the parade isn't as disappointing as the Festival.

Let's see - what else. Im so proud of my buddy Art who after reading some of ours, started his own blog. There is a blog started every 1.5 minutes, I think I read somewhere. Too bad 90% of them are high school students moaning about their English teacher and whining about how to get beer.

I think Im gonna go read for a while..reading "The Accidental Tourist" and loving it. Katie is reading "She's Come Undone" and can barely put it down. That's next.


We're having an all Drum meeting this morning at work. (We call our circular work area the drum)

Not looking forward to it much.

Rum pa pum pum.


It makes me sick to know that a woman can blatantly display financial irresponsibility and then beg for money on the internet. She has received almost $10,000 in 10 weeks. Not for survival. Not so she and her kids can stop living in a car. Not because she's trying to eek out a living. Because she's a credit card junkie. Someone please slap her silly up one side and down the other.

I hate her more than I hate Uncle Bob's wife.

"Some people wait a lifetime..
For a moment like this.."

zCO: Hey girlie, what's up
Away/Auto-response from Danelle: It's the last episode of American Idol..duh
zCO: oh brother
***zCO: signed off at 20:25 09/04/02

Yea, yea I know. Go ahead.

But if you watched and you didn't have tears rolling down your face when Kelly Clarkson won, and then sang that song at the're a heartless beast. Her mom was crying, her friends were crying, Paula Abdul was crying. I was um..a mess.

"Dont think I cant feel that there's somethin wrong
You've been the sweetest part of my life for so long
I look in your eyes there's a distant light
And you and I know they'll be a storm tonight
But baby this is serious..
Are you thinkin 'bout you or us
Don't say what your about to say
Look back before you leave my life
Be sure before you close that door
Before you roll those dice,
Baby think twice..."

It was fabulous.

Over the next few days, I'm going to post some pictures, stories and links pertaining to 9/11. Some of the sites you may have seen, many you probably haven't. I've spent a lot of time looking for alternative "off the beaten path" accounts that I think are interesting.

I know I've sent a couple of you the link for this amazing site, but it's timely and bears repeating right now.

Bill Biggart was a photojournalist for an alternative NYC agency. He did not survive September 11, but his pictures did. This is his gear that was found in the rubble:

What follows on the website are some of the pictures recovered from his cameras. The next to last picture shows he was standing under in an underpass, which the story explains fell at approximately 10:30 am. Read the story then click on "Bill Biggart's Photo Gallery".

Oh I know I know. It's been days. Ok, at least a day.

Yesterday I was so freaking lazy. Laying down for a nap with Mark after lunch, and not getting up till dinner. I love those days tho.

Hey have you seen this on Napster's official web site? Look at their front page too. Word on the street is they are filing for bankruptcy on Thursday. "Really, who cares?" Sebastian, a student at the Technical University of Darmstadt, Germany, told Reuters as he heard that Napster would likely be forced into Chapter 7 liquidation as early as Thursday." Nuff said.

I have this twitch in my thigh that is driving me nuts. It kept me awake last night and now is still bugging me. When you look at it, it looks like a pregnant woman's stomach at about 8 months...rolling and poking from the inside. I hope there's not a fetus kicking around in there.

Im at work. Not working.


Can you have a busy day and a lazy day all at once?

We started the day off really lazy..both kids were gone - Katie to cha-lies and Daniel to Water World (last day!) so we puttered around here a little bit and then took off for errands around 3. Bank, different bank, grocery store, pick daniel up, blah blah. Came back and had left-over Chinese food that was terrific. Since then we've been working in the garage, getting ready for our OWN yard sale soon, maybe this weekend.

Now we just started some coffee and are gonna have some "growm-up" (emma-ism) time with a cup o' java and ice cream.

Im going back to work early. Not tomorrow but Wednesday. Cause of the trip. I still have to do the board minutes at home tomorrow which is really going to suck. But alas, there won't be any kids here and Mark has a few errands to run so I have no excuse I tell you!


From email (thanks dryden!)

This is definately a caption generator. Let's hear em. Post your captions on the tagboard.

Here's mine:
"Bart was still surfing for porn, even tho he could no longer find his dick."

Mark and I woke up at 11am. He has to be in Fairplay by 1! Made him breakfast to go and just hustled him out the door to take Emmas home.
We slept so poorly the night before, there was much finangling and discusing of the car, and we both stayed up w-a-y too late. Last night we stayed up late again making lists and talking about the trip to get the car. But evidently we slept soundly enough for him to almost be late.

Tom's party today. Fun times. 90% of his friends are cops (he's a dispatcher.."911 what is your emergency?") - should be a good time. Tom is the one that is writing music for a Disney movie. Him and his brother just..well, I dunno..they never seemed to have a girlfriend of any description. And never have. I've known him since kindergarten. Tom is 39, brother Mike is 41..and they live together in a house they bought together. I dunno, your guess is as good as mine.

Ok, I am taking my coffee outside and going to look over the maps and materials I've printed off so far. Have a fabulous day.