Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...


Wow. Im so excited.

Did you ever see that episode of Seinfeld about the girl that elaine worked with who was always so excited?

She finally got the promotion at Elaine's job after heckling Jerry at a stand-up club and breaking her pinkie toe. I always remember her saying "It's so exciting, I'm so excited!!" And Kramer made this crazy "yee haw" move with his arms that I can see in my head perfectly. God, what was her name? Something weird like Bobsie or something. Im sure you have no idea what I'm talking about and think I'm mostly crazy.

But I am. So excited. Plane leaves at 10:50 am, and already have several people lined up to hook up with. People have exchanged cell #'s and room #'s and we've all decided where we're going Saturday night to par-tay.! Veeg (!), DM, Danbo, Tom Carey, Ken, Will (oh wow), Mo, Spark (I hope), and to see Joyce again will be ultra cool. I seriously cannot believe I am going.

I hope I can post while Im gone. Wouldnt that be fun?

So foggy. But it was 90 something degrees today. Hotter than fuck. I gotta get a new car.


We leave for Atlanta first thing in the morning. Am worried about getting so many knives through baggage check in, but they should be ok. I mean, it's checked baggage, right?

We got VIP tickets for the convention, meaning we wont have to pay to get in at all. Coolness. I have gotten 4 calls from BF people today, making sure we are all hooking up Saturday night. Cant wait.

If I can post, I will, other wise..see ya Tuesday.



Wow, three days.

It was kind of a whirlwind weekend, and it hasn't quite slowed down since. The most important thing is that I found a house. Sheesh. It is perfect, too. It's in Arvada, the kids will be going to my alma matic (?) rival, Arvada West High School. weird. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I will tell you all about the house probably after Atlanta, (we leave Friday!) it seems like things are keeping me frantic, getting ready to go. I will only be gone 4 days, and might even have a chance to blog there. That'd be cool.

Mark bought two used cars this past weekend, to replace the Sebring. He bought a Nissan Pulsar something and a 1983 (?) Honda Civic with about a gazillion miles on it. Which according to the experts, means it's only nicely broken in. Both have some issues, but will be good tooling around cars till things are brighter and more "job-oreinted" for lack of a better word. I've been dealing with a local dealer myself, trying to get a decent car and a halfway decent interest rate with my sketchy credit. What they've offered so far isn't stellar, but may be as good as it gets. I'm certainly not laying down for this one, and the guy is working for this sale. He calls me at least once a day to see if Im ready to come look at cars. It's comical really, one of these days Im sure he's just gonna give up. Again, this is going to have to wait till after this mini-trip.

Tomorrow is the emergency "what do we do with the "Friends" meeting at work. A little nervous, but not too much. I just wish CLRA was not CL. I know that makes no sense exceept to me. Nuff said, anyway.

More tomorrow. promise.


I ended up getting sick Thursday night and I've been down ever since.

I got to Mark's and started having ajust a little bit of a stuffy nose and in two hours I was sick as a dog. Achy, coughing, sneezing and just generally feeling cruddy. I had a couple of appointments to look at houses on Friday, but only made it to one. Pretty good, still not the one tho, I don't think. The other two I decided were too far west. One in Englewood is having an open house tomorrow, so I'm planning on going to that. I felt like I was in a fog most of the day yesterday and today. I feel like I just need to sleep...which is what Ive done a lot of already.

Im bored and listless.


Thanks for the shout out on my birthday, Sharon. PS, no more skag for you.

Ding Dong!

Just had dinner with Amanda, for my birthday. That was so cool! Drove all the way up to Northglenn to meet her, so she wouldnt have to drive too far. Fun. We went to the Texas Road House. Steak Heaven. It was a lot of fun, we laffed about Gramma Gigs so much. She is my step moms mother, and I guess she is just going over the deep end something fierce. She calls her daughter "mom" and freaks out about everything. She called their house the other night at 4 in the morning, cause she said something was wrong with her toilet, and wondered if she should put a sign on the door. Helloo? She lives My dad went over there the next day and found that the seat had just slipped off to one side a bit. That was the big emergency.

We also talked about my dog, who lives there now. Amanda lives with my dad, and when Dan and I got divorced, we were trying to find a home for Murphy. He'd been our dog for 7 years and we couldnt find anyone that we would trust with him. My dad finally stepped up and said he'd take him. I was so glad. So anyway, now Murphy is old, and mostly deaf. He has a little hedgehog animal that he will not let out of his sight, and Amanda said he has started licking himself all over his body constantly. He's 9 years old this year, and Pekingnese dont have as long of a life span as a lot of dogs, so he's probably not going to last much longer. Amanda was going to have a pampered chef party at the house, but I told her I wouldnt be able to go cause I didn't want to see Murphy. I'd love to see him, but I think it would just break my heart. I just want to remember him how he was, and not torture myself. I know he's in good hands there.

More house hunting coming up. Whee.


Happy Birthday to me.

I got to work really early, I just cant seem to get it together time-wise in the morning. Im either early or late. And traffic is so questionable..bleh. Anyway.

Was sitting here at my desk contemplating being 40. Ooh, that makes me weepy just typing that. Where am I? What have I accomplished? My life is probably at least half over. What kind of legacy have I created? I started thinking about the things that are right...and the things that are wrong in my life.

I'm not "all I can be" by any means. My house is frequently a mess, my car is a mess, I don't take care of things, my ethics are questionable, and I've done a lot of things in the past that I am ashamed of.

I hurt the people I love without meaning to sometimes. I cry too easily, and am ridiculously sentimental. I procrastinate and short-cut my way through things if possible.

My body is in disrepair because of my own negligence. So's my car. Relationships too.

I have a job that is a lot better than most of you. I make good money, and come and go when I please. I have very little work to do, and spend a grand amount of time at work doing other things. The people I work with are great, and we see each other frequently outside of work.

I have 3 wonderful kids that are caring, thoughtful, intelligent, and have a great sense of humor. I have a unique and close relationship with each one of them.

I have a lot of friends that I can count on.

Most of all, I have someone that I love with all my heart, who loves me back.

I don't need no stinkin' presents. I already have it all.


Danelle's horrible terrible no good very bad day.

Cant do the Downing house, even tho it's been offered. Now they want a renter in there June 7, and I just can't do that. I haven't even given my notice yet.

Just a lot of shitty things going on, besides.

I am so sleepy and unmotivated, I can't even concentrate on anything.

Gail's been gone all morning, she'll be back soon and all over it, I'm sure. She's going on vaca soon..praise God.

I feel incredibly fat and unattractive. I need to hide.

Ok, it appears to be working. Phew.

Anne's Party page still isn't working, tho. Im doing something wrong, I have no idea what. Hafta check it at home. Big night tonight of house and car hunting. Groan. I just wanted to roll over and sleep this morning.

The Adipex seems to either not be working, or I am so immune to speed that I need to increase the dose. Took one and half this morning, gonna see how that goes. So far so good. The past couple of days I've taken it, I couldnt even tell. Might have to try something else.

T-10 Atlanta. Whee.

Ok, for some reason no one can get here to my blog. Says Page Not Found. Im worried. Gonna backup absolutely everything. Just in case.


The miller moths are worse than ever. I had all my windows up in my car and then when I went to go get Kt from work, there were 4 of em in there. I nearly killed everyone on the road I think. They are so bad at the library. Really really bad.

Daniel had a random UA today. God, what a hassle to get there before 5 to pee in a cup. There were about 10 people in the small waiting room, and only one guy running boys back and forth to the bathroom. One lady's son was going into rehab tomorrow, and she just couldn't get enough of telling us all about it. I wanted to scratch her eyes out.

I have to call the Newland people. What in the hell am I going to say. Procrastination rules.

I cannot believe this house hunting. It's absolutely insane.

I feel like I'm in a pageant, I swear to God. The competition is so fierce for these damn houses that you have to not only have your financial ducks in a row, you have to impress the landlords. Make myself memorable, but not annoying. I have looked at more than a couple of houses and have put in a few applications. One was offered tonight, but I'm really torn. I wanted the "Downing" one really bad, and have been waiting and wishing that a positive answer would come through. They've called twice wanting to verify information and said today that "you should hear from us tomorrow." So then Newland calls. Newland is a close second...but definately second. Bad news, they are going on vacation for 2 weeks and want an answer tonight. I cant give them an answer tonight. I have to see what happens with Downing. Then what if I get neither? I will be so bummed out. I will be back at square one with nothing in the wings, and the clock ticking.

I got a credit report and started making calls about collection items that were on there, trying to get everything paid and cleared up. There wasn't anything insanely hideous, just a couple of bad checks that went to collection. A hassle but not overly numbing. A settlement here, a charge-off there. (E-I-E-I-O) Some of the identifying companies that it says I owe money are so coded and obscure that I can't even figure out who it is. A C B - $50. Hmm. No idea. This is turning into much more of a hassle than it is almost worth. 7 years actually goes by pretty fast, doesn't it?

I have a lot more I wanted to blog, but Im just feeling comatose. I need some food. Yea.


The weekend is half over and Im so tired already, from running around.

Yesterday we went and had lunch with my mom. Amazingly, it went pretty well. She was cordial and upbeat, and had some nice conversations with Mark. I have no idea where to go from here..I guess I will try to keep up a dialogue with her and hopefully repair some of the old damage.

After lunch and hanging out at mom's we went to look at some more cars. Planet Honda still didn't have the lease answers we were hoping for, and they didn't even have much in stock. I think I've decided to go with a new car, and lease it rather than buy a used car with a loan. I got a copy of my credit report and it's not as bad as I thought. Stay tuned.

We went to Anne's party last night. Hella fun. I lost count of how many Sangria's I had after about 10. Everyone from work was there, that was cool. We were home early tho, and crashed instantly.

Today we have to go to Pueblo to pick up Emma, then go look at 2 houses. Tonight is the Season Finale of vivor, and the next to last episode of Six Feet Under. That will take us up to bedtime, and then Monday we start all over again! lol.

Wednesday is my birthday. My 40th. God.

T-12 for Atlanta!


Big weekend ahead...lots to blog. Stay tuned.


Ooh, vivor was good! Bye bye Sean. God I wish it would have been Neleh. I am so sick of her. Who will win? Im going to predict that it will be Paschal. One more episode!

Mark is out driving with Katie right now. Katie's driving, that is. Whee. I cant really let her drive my car, it has so many things wrong with it that it takes 30 mins of explanation before anyone can get behind the wheel.

"You cant let it idle for more than a few minutes or the temperature gauge will go into the red."
"You cant take off quickly from a red light or stop sign or it will die."
"That noise is the hole in the exhaust"
"That smell is from the hole in the exhaust."
"It takes you quite a few minuutes to get to top speed because the fuel injectors are operating at 30% capacity."

Seriously. Someone please send me a car.

Oh man!

The Adipex has definately kicked in. I'm a total speed demon, and tweaking to no end. Look at the template! I've been working on it all morning. (The fact that this took me all morning shows how rudementary my html skills are..but shit! look at it!) I'm not hungry in the least, but am thirsty as hell. My eyes are really dry too.

I think I need to design my own template. Ooh, that'd be fun.

I have a lot of work to do, today is Board Packet day. But I am completely unmotivated to do anything but


Oh, speaking of Miller Moths, we were all quite entertained for a good long while last night watching Schatze chase one around. The poor moth was dragging it's ass behind it at the end, then the cat finally showed some mercy and ate it. He jumped about 5 feet in the air trying to get to the damn thing. He batted it around the floor and chased it over under around and through.

I'm trying to fix this template, be patient. I know it looks weird.

Something really strange is going on at work, Im not sure what. Next week's Board meeting has been cancelled, which has never happened before..and they have scheduled an emergency meeting of the Executive Session for the following Wednesday. I have no idea what is going on. I asked Gail if we should be worried, she said "No, I dont think so." What the hell does that mean? There is a lot of dissention right now between the Friends and Library and I cannot imagine what this is all about. Gail says I definately have to be there. The new meeting is two days before Atlanta. groan. Cross your fingers.

What a great night we had last night. Watched the finale of the Amazing Race, and were very happy when Chris and Alex won. We were all secretly rooting for Tara and Will I think, they'd gone through such hell to do this. was cool nonetheless.

Ceiling time till 3 am. Very very nice. I feel incredibly happy, lucky, excited, and motivated. Actually I feel tired! But it's a good tired, cause it was totally worth staying up for. He makes me feel so incredibly valued and cherished. Foreign feelings that I am loving getting used to.

Started on the Adipex today. Can't tell anything yet..maybe a tiny bit speedy, but not too much. It might not have much effect today, since I've only had just a little over two hours sleep. Mark was still wired when I went to bed at 3 so he decided to stay up for a while, and when the alarm went off this morning, he was still up! Goofball.

Good weekend ahead. Anne is having a party that I think is going to be really fun, and more house hunting I think. Lunch with my mom, too. I just want to get that over with.


All the good shows are ending.

Getting ready to watch the finale of the Amazing Race II. Six Feet Under has two more does vivor. I have to find other shows to get addicted to.

Is this font too small? Is it hard to read? Someone please let me know. I think it's too small.

Yea new pic. i know it's fuzzy. So what.

Bloggers, bloggers. When you are plugged, it's polite to plug. *kiss.

Something else entirely:
I just got this email, and the subject was: "If you think there's no pornography on your pc, you're wrong."

And I'm thinking..."if there's no pornography on my pc..there's gonna be some dead teenagers at my house."

They are everywhere. The Rocky Mtn News says:

"The annual invasion of the miller moths started a few weeks early this year because of warm, dry weather in the plains.

The pesky but harmless moths normally arrive on the Front Range in early June on their way to nectar-rich flowers in the mountains.

Because the moths have waxy body scales that pesticides don't penetrate, swatting and vacuuming are the recommended household control techniques, said Carl Wilson, extension horticulturist at the Colorado State University Cooperative Extension in Denver. "

In other words, you cant get rid of them. God, they are disgusting. And they are seriously everywhere. There are at least one or two on every single window at the library. They are all over my house. They are in my car, trying to get me to wreck. I went into the ladies room here at the library and shut the door and two of them started flying around. Fuckers.

They're dusty, quick and crafty. Study this face and promise to kill all of them that cross your path. It's our only hope.

Someone from MIT was reading here yesterday afternoon.

I feel inadequate. Maybe I should post something profound or technically prolific.


This is for Trent:

Today started off really shitty, Daniel missed the bus again.

I am just totally ready to give up and tell him to do whatever he wants to do, that's what he's doing anyway. Right now he is severely grounded anyway, and has lost everything that means anything to him...there's nothing left to take away. I am considering calling Dan and asking him to be more participatory about this stuff, but I'm afraid that is just opening Pandora's Box, if ya know what I mean. So..for today Daniel is cleaning and scrubbing and laundering.

Other than that, my mood is glorious. Go figure. Today is payday, and although I have nothing left after people and things are paid, I'm still happy to be paying my bills. It's nice to be almost sorta kinda caught up. I wont have much money to take to Atlanta, but that's just how it is. I've figured all we really need to pay for is 6-8 meals. Hell, we can eat at Taco Bell every day for all I care.

Gail is wigging. Anne and I just decided that she is completely out to lunch mentally. We're not anxious about it yet, cause it's kind of nice to have time and space to just get our shit done. But Anne is worried that soon the Foundation will cease to function as a rund raiser, and that's scary. My job is totally secure unless the foundation folds. I don't see that happening, but who knows. Stranger things have happened.

Im happy and optimistic today. Feels good.


Why do so many of those randomly generated web sites always seem eerily accurate?

This came from What's In Your Name? It's amazingly spot on. How weird is that. Comments are mine, in parentheses.


Although your name of Danelle gives you a good appreciation of material values, business ability, and skill in organizing and managing others, (bossing people around) your success is restricted by a lack of self-confidence and initiative. (slacker be thy name). This name brings out a practical, materialistic quality, with a strong desire for a good standard of living in an environment where you are in contact with refined, successful people. (I want good stuff and fun people). You try to further your interests through pursuing the association of people with influence. Being well-groomed and well-dressed at all times is important to you as you always strive to make a good impression on others. (vain, overly confident). Your interests are more focused on your social life and convivial living, with any pressing or difficult issues being put off as long as possible. (Let's go play pool and pay bills tomorrow). Any weakness in the health would affect the fluid functions, and you could suffer through kidney trouble or female problems.

I know, I know!

If you are trying to sell Mark something, you better have your ducks in a row.

She tries to sway him to buy into her system, her funds-for-sale. Eventually he has her pad in his lap, and he's showing her how what he's doing is already better. Arguing with her that her facts are skewed, and calling her on points that she really doesnt have a clue about. She bills herself as a financial advisor. She's really just a salesperson..and not a very good one at that. She's got all the words down, says all the right buzzwords in all the right places, but she really has no substance to back it up. When he calls her on an important point, she just keeps saying the same buzz sentences that she's memorized....(Im giving you commentary cause she's still sitting right here blabbing.)

Sheesh, it's nearly 10:00 pm. Time for salesgirl to count the drawer and close up shop.

Im so achy and bleh. T-17 days. I need it.

This is hilarious. Technical Support calls gone bad. If you only listen to one..make sure its the "Broken Mouse". I was late to work this morning, sitting in front of my pc laffing my ass off at them. Enjoy.

My Doctor is a total bumbler.

I went to the Dr. on Friday, to get some routine bloodwork done (Im diabetic, did you know that?) and to get back on Adipex so I can lose some more weight. I swear, he cracks me up. He doesn't know anything about medications, he has this book that he keeps in his white coat pocket that has all the drug stuff in it. I ask him about the differences between two drugs, and he has no idea. I told him I was on Adipex before, he asked me what strength...I didn't know - I said "I think 15 mg". He just wrote the prescription up for whatever I say. He drops things, and is totally confused most of the time. He's totally ok as a physician, but I don't want him doing any surgery on me or anything, thank you very much.



Dont you love her? Mark and I were talking about her, he didn't know who she was..I can't believe she wasn't international. So I was looking up some sites about her and she's just so funny. Even her official site is a riot. There is a personal letter to her fans there that she allegedly wrote, which I'm 99% sure she did. You can't understand a word of it!

Who else is allowed to be so blatantly sexual and yet completely dense and void of any common sense? We just shake our heads and say "ooh, that Charo." If she comes out while we happen to be stopped on Jerry Springer while channel surfing...we all stop and watch. She has a new album out. Here are some of the tracks:

Clear Moon
Your Body Heat
The Harvester and the Wagon Men ...(ooh..)

Cootchie Cootchie!

Ok, this is the first time I've ever been told this:

MJM: Maybe you should go on Jenny Jones.

And me agreeing.

This is after me telling him "whats up" for the past month. Someone I dont talk to all the time, so we gotta play catch up everytime we hook up online.
See, Im not the only one who thinks my life is a mess.

Now I am so totally stressed.

Daniel is not the person he wants to be, put it that way. He is behaving like the only way to have fun is to break rules. He is on severe grounding and his door has to remain open 24 hours a day. I have no idea what the hell he is thinking. He is >thisclose< to totally screwing up his life.

I am having lunch with my mom on Saturday. I thought it was just casual, just lunch..but Amanda is making me feel like it's some groundbreaking peace mission, which it isn't. I really have no interest in an intimate relationship with my mom, we've tried that..over and over and over. And obviously she has convinvced Amanda that I was "mean to her." Heelloo? Amanda is basing an opinion on limited information, and we all know how dangerous that can be.

My mom's first name isn't Saint, believe me. I thought it would be nice to just do lunch and have her meet Mark. Now everyone is in a tizzy and Im wondering if this is a good idea after all.

Tribal rituals. Know when to say when....

We were watching a show last night about "Stick Fights and Lip Plates". Seriously that's what it was called. In a remote part of South West Ethiopia live the Surma. They've kept their traditional way of life, remaining almost untouched by the outside world. For the men, this means stick-fighting which can lead to serious injury, and in some cases death. For the women, lip plates, and true and complete obedience to their men.

Anyway, there were these tribal rituals going on, all pertaining to those two events. The men would fight with sticks, and the winner would win the woman in question, always the woman in the tribe with the biggest lip plate. The men were so proud of their wives with the biggest lip plates. They interviewed several women, who talked about how they got their lip plates so big, and how important it is. One woman was an outcast and a complete shut in because she had tried to stretch her lip too fast and it had broke. Now she was unmarry-able. A travesty. Her lips were hanging in long tendrils down the side of her mouth.

We laughed so hard at one point..the tribe was getting ready to pierce a girl's lip for the first time, and of course it started out with much chanting and dancing. It looked to be around dusk. The night wore on and soon they were singing a song that translated into "we'll dance and sing all night and into the day".

I just kept thinking... Aren't there some folks in the tribe that are just tired? Isn't there some that just want to go home and go to bed? When one person started that song, did others turn to each other and say "What did he say? All night and into the day?"

What if you don't want to sing and dance all night? They've already had a long day of hunting, weaving, rock bashing, swatting flies out of their eyes, etc. Does anyone ever speak up and say "oh man...all night? Tonight??"

Soon it was morning, then midday and they were still singing and dancing. Then they started singing "We will dance till we die!" I could just picture some tribesman turning to another and saying.."You know what...Im outta here. I sang and danced all night and into the day, like he said...and now I need a nap."

I almost choked on my food, seriously. We were laffing out of control.

Dance on, people.

I feel like all I am focusing on is a house. Where is the house? Is there a house here? Is this the house? bleh!

Looked at a few more th is weekend. I liked a couple of them, but got a bad vibe from one guy. Asked him when he was looking to have someone move in by and he said "Whenever I find someone Im comfortable with". okkaayy.. so if he was comfortable with me he probably would have said something, yes? Another one in Northglenn was AbFab. Just put in an application for that one today, along with a little note extoling the virtues of "me!" lol. We'll see. I just want to find something!

Mother's Day turned out pretty good. Nothing wonderful or terrible. Daniel straightened his ass up finally and got ungrounded. I got him a book from the library that I thought he'd like and he loves it. Then he went and left it at his Dad's after the weekend. He was SO disappointed! I found another copy today and checked it out. lol - he'll be so happy.

I gotta work. Or sleep. Or something.


Im starving. Where is my mother's day breakfast?

Did some major web site work today. Check it out.

Now I need some food.

Things are better. Just an O'Shea family meltdown. Situational normal, all fucked up.

It's Mother's Day. Happy Day to you mothers and such. I came home from Mark's early, to find Katie had totally cleaned my bedroom and bathroom. It's spotless, and I'm floored! It's the best thing she could have done or gotten for me. There are new purple towels in the bathroom, and one little handtowel with stars on it. New star soap too, I really love it.

Life is good, really good.

Happy Mother's Day especially to Sharon, who has to be a mother to her own mother. PS, dont talk to Chel anymore...she's trying to unravel your progress. Talking to her makes you take one step forward and two steps back, sweetie. Im rooting for you, everyday.

T-19 till Atlanta. Im so excited I could burst.


Amazing how things can go from great to shitty in the span of just a few minutes.

Teenagers for

Did a bit of rearranging over there in the Frequented and Recommended area. Added Tatroyer, dubiously though. He's not the friendliest guy in the world..then again, maybe it's just me. He seems a little stiff is all I guess. He posts frequently which is nice..we'll give it a whirl and see how it goes.

I took off y2kira, only because she never posts anymore. If she comes back, so will we.

Sharon at fragmented seems to be having ISP or server problems or something..but we're gonna leave her up, she'll be back. She's my favorite of favorites.

The two I mentioned adding recently are not gonna go up, they seem to have started blogs and then stopped posting, for the most part. *shrug*.

As you were....

Im having a great weekend so far, which is odd because I am flat busted broke.

I went and looked at a house today...that I really liked. I have a bad feeling about it tho..the guy wants someone in June 1, and Im not moving until July 1. Well, they'll be other houses tho. This one was nice tho. Bleh.

I met Amanda for lunch..that was so fun! I got brought up to date on all the church doings and what the "guys" have been up to. Phil just graduated from Automotive College, Rachel is dating a vegan, Brandon is still with Janelle, who everyone despises, and Mike A is getting married in Iowa soon. See, all caught up. Amanda looked really cute and too thin. Im so proud of her. She's getting ready to move into her own place around the same time I'll be moving. I hope she has enough money to get by. *sigh.

Her and Justin have set a wedding date...July 26, 2003. Not sure what I'll be able to contribute...hopefully time and energy, cause I doubt if I'll have anything else to help out. They figure it will cost 8-10K. Sheesh. I think next time it's my turn (ever??) I will go through the drive through in Vegas. Yee ha. We decided we need to see each other more we're gonna meet once a month for lunch. We went downtown for Mongolian Barbeque. Mmm...Took Emma with me, then to Aspen Park to pick up Daniel from Dan. Left Mark alone for the day to work on Daniel's pc...which is totally fixed now. whee.

Hanging out at the Coles camp tonight..for some reason my mother's day present warrants that I not be home Im told. Maybe they're cleaning. That'd be cool.

Looking at two more houses tomorrow, and making some yummy dinner I think.

Life is good.


It's funny what brings some people together and keeps them together.

Most of the people I know "match" together. They are equally as attractive, outgoing..whatever But once in a while you come across a couple that seems so mismatched, you wonder "what the hell...."

I don't want to name anyone specifically..but there's someone that I know only through the internet that is very very good looking. And his wife..well, isn't. I know beauty is only skin deep, and love should be over and above what we look like..but is it really? (oh wow, that was so Carrie Bradshaw-ish)

I got heavy when I was married...because I was really really unhappy. I lost a lot of weight as soon as Dan left..some of it because I was depressed and some of it just kinda came off...I look better now than I did at any point in my marriage. I just went back on Adipex too, so am expecting to be even slimmer soon. Yay.

Why is this a topic in my brain today? I dunno. I guess I've always thought that this internet person's wife would be equally as attractive as he is..and then I see that she's well...I repeat...not. S' too bad. He's incredibly sexy. I look at the pictures and think "ooh, she's really unhappy..and he is bumming!" That's me being unduly judgemental and pious. Admittedly so. He probably loves her with all his heart and soul. But damn, he could do better.

And why do I care that he is an 8 and his wife is a 3? I really don't. It's just weird.

Oh, btw.

Emma said I cant get a new house cause the snails will eat it.

Duly noted.

Don't give me one iota of shit. I like the Carpenters. I really like them. I like the music, and I love the sentiment.

I guess I first started really liking them when I was in Jr. High and figured out that my voice can almost match Karen Carpenters perfectly. Im not saying I can match her quality by any means, but the range is right on. I had nearly everything they recorded at one I just have the stuff I really like.

So I am sitting here at work listening to the Carpenters, and knowing that life is really good.

Day after day I must face a world of strangers
Where I don't belong
I'm not that strong
It's nice to know that there's someone
I can turn to
Who will always care
You're always there

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

Last night, he said "It's nice to know someone is on your side."

You betcha.



I'm just tired. Stayed up late (after 2:15 am) having good ceiling time. Lots of good discussion. Im so happy.

Took Daniel for his first UA yesterday, but was not to be. The office had moved (only 2 buildings away as it turns out) but they had no sign on the door or anything. Helloo? Going to try it again today if I can get out of here early. We'll see. I'm not going to bust ass for these people.

The next few days will be nice..Gail will be on vacation until Tuesday. Lots of opportunity to get caught up on stuff.

Looking at more houses..maybe tonight. Yea, baby.


I have a bad headache and I'm irritated so Im going to list things that are irritating me. Maybe tomorrow I will list things that make me happy.

Waiting for Katie to get off work at 9:40 at night
Knowing tomorrow is clean out the storage closet day at work
People that are way past the age of standing on their own two feet...but still arent. Get your shit together and get your own life. Be productive. Be independant of anyone else. Quit whining to other people about your sad sorry existance and how nothing ever goes right for you. Make your own way. Quit making excuses for your situation and do something.


I think my website problem is actually an isp problem.

I cant even hit their website without the same prompt. I wrote them a nice email...we'll see if I get an answer..or if the emails have to get increasingly hostile. I dont cope well with isp problems.

Rolled in late as promised, and Im the only one here! Figures. This place is so predictable. We stay late one night, the next day everyone is later than late. I love it tho..and I love it here. The people are all so cool, and the events really are kinda fun. Good food..damn we had good food last night.

Cooking up some grub for the Coles tonight. Fried chicken...for emma of course. One of her faves. Missed them last night. *sigh.
tick tick tick

I dont know what is wrong with my website. Dont go there today. I did some editing last night and now I cant access it from the asks for a password prompt...*pout. I dunno what the hell I did.

Gonna roll in late. Damn straight.


Last post 11:29 am. I was fried then. Now it's 9:51 pm.

Just got home from the author's event, it was actually pretty fun. I thought I was going to have to sit at the membership table all night, but then Gail asked me to take pictures so I was off the hook there. Thanks, Drew. I got to hang with the Webbs. That would be pretty cool if they weren't such assholes. Wilma Webb wears so much makeup that she looks like Michael Jackson. And snotty..but not as snotty as he is. He finally arrived to the event 10 minutes before it was over..stepped off the elevator and said "Well, Im here.." was still kind of cool. I got to escort Wilma around the building. Her makeup gets in the elevator before she does.

So now Im completely and totally beat, and I have at least 90 minutes worth of work ahead of me cropping and messing with these pictures, then posting them. Could I leave it till tomorrow? Most definately. But I'm gonna plug away.

Im not having any fun at all today. I just got done with the first draft of the Board minutes, which Im sure will come back to me several times...since I am doing them basically asleep.

I did not sleep well, woke up every hour or so not daring to look at the clock. Finally did at kidding. I just really tossed and turned all night. Now today I feel zombie-fied. We have an author's even tonight at work, and I will be here until at least 8:30. Someone shoooooot me!

Rashid's party was fun. Might have been funner if I spoke Spanish.

Looking at more houses this week. Fun. No, really.

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

That was fun.


Ssssh, don't talk so loud. Why are the lights so bright? Who put sawdust in my mouth?

We're recovering, and literally it is taking days. Mark's party was a rousing success, and we all had a great time. There were several people in and out..not as many as had promised, but it was all good anyway. We had enough alcohol and food, and that's what always worries you anyway.

We ended up in a row later on, but got it squared away. I don't want to talk about that.

Yesterday was a lazy sleep-it-off day..

Today Mark is on his way to Pueblo to pick up Emma, I am supposed to be cleaning, but havent started yet. He wont be back till 4, so I have a little while. Then we are going to Rashid's house for another party. Groan. Wonder who will be there. Could be some awkwardness, depending. I didn't see her (V) name on the email invite..but who knows. She won't come if she knows we're gonna be there...if she has a brain in her head.

Am looking at houses to move into, come July 2. I have decided not to renew my lease and see what kind of house I can afford. It isn't going too bad, I have quite a few on the list to look at. Mostly up north. More on that as it develops.

Ok, off to take out trash bags full of beer bottles, and put away food that has been sitting out for two days. Whee.


For some reason, I am still getting responses to a personals ad I had up a long time ago.

I never had very good luck meeting people from personals ads. Read this email note I got and maybe you'll understand.


That's it.

*sigh. Im so glad I am not dealing with that anymore. Thank you, thank you.


New movie..."Enough" - starring Jennifer Lopez.
Loved it.
The first time.
When it was called Sleeping With The Enemy.

God this present is cool.

Go listen to this song if you havent heard it. WinMX, hellooo?

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

I am so excited about Mark's present I cannot think of anything else. It's taken all my focus for days. It's totally all I can think about right now!

There's been some boundary setting about some things, and it's all good. *sigh. I am so happy.

The Friday thing is really turning out to be very cool. What a present. I can't wait to tell you about it on Saturday!