Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...


I am so tired.

Stayed up too late reading, why do I do that? I'm almost done with "The Accidental Tourist" and have loved every bit. Im dying to know if he goes with Sarah or Muriel. Im tempted to read the end.

We still cannot find our travel Scrabble.

I'm tempted to call Frontier and ask for a change of seat assignment. We are in the back..and after a 3.5 hour flight, I'm going to be scratching someone's eyes out to get off the plane. I have "non-mobility claustrophobia" which means that is highly uncomfortable to be sitting in an enclosed space where there is no air moving, or I am not in motion. I can't sit in an enclosed car, for instance. Riding in a plane is not an issue unless we sit for an inordinate amount of time without moving. Pre-flight is usually ok, because I am distracted getting ready to take off. But after landing, I get highly anxious and I feel like I must exit the plane immediately. When we flew to Atlanta we were in the Very Last Row and I thought I was going to lose it. People were taking fucking forever to get their shit and get out. I had to keep my head down and pretend I was somewhere else, all the while having every available air fan blowing on me. If I can feel air moving it somehow helps to trick my mind into believing I'm in motion. (That was the only thing a "mental health professional" ever told me that helped. By the way a phobia is not a mental illness, it's a learned response..) I know it's irrational and I know deep down nothing bad will happen, but I just can't get past the intense anxiety. On the way home from Atlanta we made a point to ask for a seat near the front, and we were in the second row, which was great.

So I'm just sitting here wondering how stupid it is to call Frontier and tell them I have to sit up front or I might freak out.


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