This shit only happens to me....

So we're sitting down to dinner, American Idol has just started. The doorbell rings. There's this guy standing there, swaying..and says "Do you remember me?!"

Oh, lordy. I have no idea who this person is. Is it someone I've dated? Did Daniel get in trouble and this is the kids dad? I say "Umm..no.." and he says "It's me, Dan! I used to live here!"

Ok, so when you rent a house you normally don't get to know the people that lived here before you too well. He may have been here when we traipsed through the house the first time but I really don't remember.

So he goes on.."Hey listen, I've had too much to drink and I need my wife to come and get me." Groan...

So I offer to let him used the phone..outside. He calls her and opens the door and steps in.."She says she's really wiped out herself and it's gonna be an hour and a half." And he plops himself down on a living room chair. We all look at each other like "wtf?" So he sits there saying virtually nothing while we go on about our business, which is really hard to do with this stranger sitting in your living room.

Mark does the dishes and disappears downstairs. Daniel takes a phone call and I don't see him again either. Now it's me alone with American Idol and this guy. And he's moaning..continually...like you do when you're drunk.

I'm thinking he's gonna puke. Then wondering if I would leave it and make his wife clean it up when she got here. Deciding I probably would, but he never did. He just kept saying "I'm so tired. I'm really really tired."

Finally, it gets to be about 8:20. An hour and 10 minutes after he called her, and he stands up and announces that he's just gonna go drive himself, cause he doesn't think she's coming. I engage him a little bit and determine that he probably has sobered up enough to drive, although knowing full well she's gonna show up here and be incredibly pissed. She hasn't shown up yet though, so now I'm wondering if she would be so rude as to just leave him here.

Would you do that to your husband? I mean yea, I'd be pissed that he got himself so drunk he had to impose on other people and then impose on me to come and get him, but I'd be glad he had the sense not to drive. But she knows he's at our house, totally inconveniencing us, and she never shows. He said she was "wiped out" too, which I don't know if that means fucked up, or tired, or what.

So he leaves. And she's not here yet.

Why wouldn't he call her from the bar? When you get that drunk are you like one of those dogs that gets left accidentally and crosses the country to find your old house?

Weird man, people are freaking weird.