I am doing some major baking on Friday and Saturday, but decided to try out one of the recipes (magic cookie bars) on a miniature scale this evening. I needed Sweetened Condensed Milk, but all I had was Evaporated milk. I called my mom to see if there was any difference, and oh my god, she was no help at all. She totally did not understand what I was asking.

"Mom, it's Danelle, do you know if..."
"Danelle?!" You're going to have to talk a lot louder than that."
{louder...} "Are sweetened condensed milk and evaporated milk the same thing?"
"Oh, no..sweetened condensed milk is nothing like regular milk."
"No, not regular milk mom, evaporated milk"
"Evaporated milk isn't regular milk either. You'll have to go to the store"
"I have evaporated milk..I need sweetened condensed milk."
"Sweetened condensed milk is a lot sweeter than regular milk."
"Goodbye mom.."

I felt like Uncle Lewis trying to tell Aunt Bethany to say the blessing in Christmas Vacation. The BLES-SING!!!

We then called Charlie's mom. I told Katie to ask her the same question. Katie comes upstairs and says:
"Charlie's mom says you have to put some water in the sweetened milk to make it evaporated milk."
"I have evaporated milk..I need sweetened condensed milk"
{teenage groaning}

So I was still lost. Went online to check it out. Great. Add 1.25 cups of sugar to evaporated milk to make sweetened condensed milk. Fine. Dandy.
However, I missed the large type at the bottom that said "Cool Completely"

I dumped the hot sugar laden evaporated milk into the pan with the other ingredients and could tell immediately that I had a problem. I baked it as instructions anyway, and what came out was not cookie bars, but the best damn gooey, carmely ice cream topping you''ve ever tasted in your life. The kids ate it by spoonfuls, Mark and I layered it heavily in chocolate ice cream. I think I'm onto something.

I've heard this is how post it notes were invented. By mistake.

But now I need some sweetened condensed milk.