And now, I just received an email from RAUL! (No one knows who i am talking about except maybe Dy. She's gasping at this very moment. lol.) I loved Raul, I really could have wanted a lot more with Raul. And he knows that. And Mark knows that. But it just wasn't meant to be on so many levels. I told him I'd love to see him if he came to town, blah blah blah.

It's just funny that I'm all on this melancholy trip today...and reading old entries...and then I get an email from Raul. One time, we realized we were both listening to the same obscure song (Matchbox 20 - You Wont Be Mine..oddly enough..I swear) while reading emails from each other at the same time. And then I even mentioned that song in my blog today as something reminding me of the past. Wow.

Anyway, here's a picture of Raul for old times' sake. He's very shy and hates having his picture taken, but I don't think he'll mind 15 seconds of fame here. He's so sweet, and he was so incredibly nice to me...and he's so cute.



It's like here was a perfectly good relationship that I could barely fathom, because of what was going on around me. I went out to dull the pain now and then, but my heart was really somewhere else..which is horribly unfair. I probably should apologize to Dave for that. And Brock for the same reason. Ahhh, Brock. Boy I fucked that up big time, didn't I? Someday, we'll talk about that. Anyway. It's like that song by Fran Lucci.."Mistakes I Made.."

But for Mistakes I Made
Who knows who I would be
Some other heart some other soul
Some other destiny
But for the times I took a wrong turn unafraid
I might have missed it all
But for Mistakes I Made