Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...


Mmm I feel bad, but have to remember what was done to me too. Read where I didn't want to go for a month. But it was ok, albeit a little harsh I thought. And, bits of a mixed message too. Said "From the webpage of someone I care about" which was just above "Now I know who my true friends are." Someone to be cared about, but not a true friend. That's me I guess..(in a nutshell - movie reference for the day)
I guess I just don't understand why you can't re-evaluate relationships and let them fit where they're supposed to. We both had doubts, but still an incredible amount of affection and connection. Why does it have to be all or nothing? Im not healthy enough for that. I do miss him tho, and I just think it's sad that there can be nothing at all. I've extended the hand in the past couple of days. I don't think it's going to be received. I care about him very much and would like to be there for him in some capacity, and would love to have him in my life too. Cha.

Tonight is "no plans friday night" Im actually not bothered by that in the least. I want to rent some movies and just hang out. Daniel will be there, so he'd probably love to do that. Tomorrow will be lazy, hopefully cleaning..then tomorrow night is LeRoy's big shin dig. THAT will be hella fun. Will definately post a pic or two on my site. Sunday is nothing. Bleh. I used to have so many fun plans for every weekend. I like the way things are now tho, I feel a lot more centered.

Only cried for a minute yesterday. Twice.

Emma wont be back until late May, when Grampa Limey comes to town. sucky sucky. Have been promised dinner next week tho, that's something. May head south for a long weekend soon. The invite's been extended a couple times already, and I could really use it.

Ok, gonna work. More later.


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