Be wary of committments. Get them in writing if possible. Clarify, clarify, clarify. That's the lesson of life for today, kiddies.

Where I thought there were some, there were not. A sorta kinda committment is not a committment at all. And if you have to put a gun to someone's head to get it...who wants it. Better now, tho. I think clarity has been established, and boundaries have been clearly set. Now if I could just get over my weirdness. Believe me, I have weirdness. Hard to believe, huh.

Am running to "Casey" more and more. That's a comforting place for me, and there is a lot of good advice there. Nice to have the male perspective without all the junk that goes along with it. Maybe the distance makes that possible, I don't know. I'd like to feel like I've been there for him sometimes too, but I really haven't. Not like he has. We went through a span of a few months where we didn't talk to each other at all, I don't know what happened. But we started back up again, and now I feel like a lifeline has been established, maybe where there wasn't one before, even. We joke that it's a good thing we don't live closer, but I don't think that's entirely true. I don't think either one of us wants anything more than we have now except an even closer friendship. Anything else would totally ruin it. And he's too chicken anyway! I swear I don't know how he puts up with that woman, she drives me crazy and I don't even know her. And now her boobs are all fucked up. I don't wish ill will on anyone, but c'mon. Isn't it allowable to smile at the devil's misfortune? Just a little? I just wish it didn't affect him so much. That's the sucky part.

I really just want to be happy. That's all I want to say.