Ok, ok. Im here.

I was just thinking that last night is probably the last night Mark and I will spend apart for some time. It was kind of nice, but I do miss him when he's not around. I wonder how different things will feel when we are all in the house together. All of our stuffed all mished mashed, hanging around the house together at night and on the weekends. We do that now, but it always feels like "company" - even after all this time. We've talked a lot about situations that could possibly trip us up in the future, and I think we have a pretty good grasp of how to deal with most everything. Like Mark always says "This works well on so many levels."

So, technically I had about two years of 'single-ness', and now am embarking on a relationship of unknown proportions. Im excited, but also a little scared of a negative outcome. What if things don't work out? I will be heartbroken. What if they do work out? Is this the best thing available to me? Right now I believe it is. Mark always says also "nothing is ever set in stone." Lol. Typical non-commital male.

I think I can make this work for as long as we both want it to. I do have a few walls still up, since there is no positive affirming commitment. I feel like I have to protect myself from what could happen. I know I love him, and I know he loves me. And that has to be enough for today.