I was chatting to Dy about decorating for Christmas soon, and I was reminded of why the fuck I have literally no Christmas decorations anymore. No, it's not cause Dan got em all in the divorce, (although he did take some of them, which I thought was so stupid. Men don't care about that shit, he was just being mean...maybe it was the sentimentality of it all, I mean he did invite his girlfriend that he was cheating on me with to our last Christmas party and all...ANYway...).

So, no it's not cause he took em, it's cause he ruined em.

I had a big plastic underbed box with all my christmas stuff in it. Ornaments the kids had made since preschool, things that were on my moms tree when I was a kid that she gave me, ornaments my friend Kathy (she died) made for me out of ceramics. All in this nice lovely plastic box in the garage. Well, we had a mouse in the garage one day. And somehow, it got inside this box. Fine, whatever. Take the lid off the box, put some DCon around the place and call it good.

No.

Dan had to shoot the damn thing with a bb gun. In The Box. He hit it. It bled. A lot.

That is why now I have a handful of the CheapestWalMartOrnamentsYouCanBuy.

But that's nothing. Someday maybe I will tell you how mean he really was.