We got our midterms back last night, I got an 89%. Not bad, not bad. Then when we did our simu-birth test last night, the proctor said mine was flawless. During my scenario, my baby got stuck in the birth canal, the shoulders were a bit too big for the pelvis. I knew what to do, but she asked me "What's this situation called?" And I drew a blank. She tried to prompt me..

"It's called sshhhoooulllderrr....."
Me: "uh...stuck-a-mitis."

Haha. When in doubt, make em laugh..and she did.

And here's a little story, called "Just how dumb are you?"

There is a night EMT class, and a day class. Our teacher teaches both, and she is forever telling us how low their test scores are, how poorly they are doing on their hands on exams, etc. It creates quite a rivalry, and of course we just eat it up.

Well last night was the only only only day you could test for simu birth. The woman (droll, monotone) that comes in to do it only comes in once. So we're going along last night and at about 7:30 the proctor said "how many more people have to do this?" and about 4 people raised their hands. She said "Oh wow, the day class took 4 and a half hours to finish, you guys are doing great!" So we were of course feeling all full of ourselves.

Then these two people come in that we don't know. A weasle-y looking guy and this woman. Oh man, this woman! Heelllooo? Full hair and makeup with heels is sooo not EMT class. They announced that they didn't get a turn in the day class and they wanted to do their simu-birth. Fine.

So the weasle and this woman sit in the farthest back corner of the room, she's flipping her hair, putting her perfect size 7 high heeled black boots on the desk and laughing at various night people attempting to get through their birth. Already people were muttering under their breath.

Then at one point the proctor looked at her and said "You don't have to sit way over there, you know"

She barely looked up from her compact and said "We don't want to get the "yuck" of the night class on us".

Excuse me? First of all you're in the night class right now. How stupid are you to sit and disrespect all 40 of us when you are such a big fat zero?

Everyone in the room started making their under breath mutterings a little louder. Finally, when it was her turn, we did a little laughing of our own. She was horrible, she had no idea what she was doing. She took 15 minutes to get through a 4 minute birth. This proctor was ultra lenient, yet ditz-brain didn't pass. Hahaha! She had to wait till everyone else was done and then try again. When the proctor announced she failed, everyone started slapping their palms on the tables, nearly rythmically, like "Get out..get out...get out...get out..." It was quite the scene.

So anyway - it's blissday you know. My day of aloneness while everyone is off doing what they do. I need to go to the store for my dad's dinner tonight, and run to the post office too, of course. I had intended to have a lie-in today, but at 8:05 Mark calls and said

"I need you to drive down to the end of our street. I think I left my portfolio on top of the car."
Christ.

So I get dressed, put my contacts in (soo blind) and head outside. But right at the front door, there's his folder on the desk in the living room. Gah.

So now I'm awake, and might as well "get dressed and ready for the day". Oooh, that term. ha. It's something I always told my kids to do when they were little, even if we weren't going anywhere all day. They always wanted to lounge around in their pj's from dawn till dusk but I always made them get bathed and dressed just as if we were headed out the door. - to this day it is a pet peeve of mine if Mark stays in his bathrobe for longer than an hour or so in the morning. It just seems sloppy and lazy and unmotivated to me.** I've used the same term on him. "Why don't you get dressed and ready for the day?" He balks...I usually win. lol. I know, Im weird. Hey - some of you are weird too.)

**This opinion is that of the writer. It is in no way intended to imply that you yourself are sloppy, lazy and unmotivated if it is noon and you are still in your pajamas.