I swear I am not making this shit up. Art knows.

MJM: Good Evening
Danelle: whats up
MJM: Not much, just waiting for the bed to dry.
Danelle: oh?
MJM: Yeah, busy night :)
Danelle: ick. change the sheets.
MJM: Can't, it's the only set I have that fits.
Danelle: eew. i dont want to hear it.
Danelle: that's gross.
MJM: It's not gross, it's natural. Sort of.
Danelle: Yea so is urine, shit and vomit, but I dont wanna sleep in it.
Danelle: so its going well i guess with the bruise queen I take it?
MJM: Yeah, not too bad. she's good to talk with. The sex isn't the greatest but it's good to be with someone, anyone.
DanelleOShea: how is it not the greatest?
MJM: She's not a participator at all, and her cooter is a bit larger than I can accomodate fully. Her orgasm face looks like she's in pain and that's slightly disturbing . most of the time she basically just lays there and does nothing. But at least Im getting some.
Danelle: Well, getting your priorities in order is half the battle. Gotta run for now...