It's funny. If I never date or be with another man as long as I live, that's fine with me. The one I've already got is the best there is for me. He is the sweetest, most kind, generous, caring person ever to come into my life. But when the ones that got away for one reason or another come crawling back into the picture...well, it's just odd...and a little melancholy. This one had real potential. But he couldnt see past his desk at the time. Ah well. Things happen for a reason, do they not? I would not have what I have now if this had worked out. And that, Martha dears..would not be a good thing. The story of CPD happened in May of 2001, if you're sick and psycho enough to go want to read archives.

This is the kind of chat that always happens the first time you see someone online again, months after it didn't work out.

CPD: hello
Danelle: hey there, hows everything?
CPD: good you?
Danelle: fine and dandy. Are you still a working fiend?
CPD: of course.
Danelle: you're in GJ?
CPD: nope in basalt
CPD: you found the man of your dreams yet?
Danelle: yea, did. We moved in together in july.
CPD: good for you
Danelle: and you? Any wonderful women about?
CPD: dated for a while. Got dumped. Looking for new.
Danelle: dumped? Who would dump you? I tried to get you for months.
CPD: she couldn't handle having a relationship.
CPD: Said I was the right guy at the wrong time.
Danelle: that's too bad. I always wanted you to find someone nice.
CPD: Well, you and I never really had a shot.
Danelle: I tried, I think it could have been good.
CPD: so how is the new guy?
Danelle: great. It's Mark..the Brit.
Danelle: do you remember?
CPD: i remember.
Danelle: he came to his senses..or something
CPD: yeah, bout time. lucky man, lucky man.
Danelle: Actually I started dating someone else a little seriously, and he realized......whatever it is when men realize.
CPD: we like what we can't have.
Danelle: is that what it is...?
Danelle: maybe thats why i liked you so much
Danelle: no, it wasnt just that.
CPD: It was a lot of things. We had a great weekend together.
Danelle: you're so handsome, and so funny. (and so fucking sarcastic) - - I wish some pretty girl would recognize that and be your woman.
CPD: Thank you. I don't know what to say. Most don't like the sarcasm.
Danelle: Well, i just found it hard to know when you were being serious sometimes, but i still liked the sarcasm.
Danelle: you were so sweet to me.
Danelle: I really wanted to try, but you just wouldnt hear of it.
CPD: I think we just had bad timing.
CPD: and you have a guy you really like now.
Danelle: yea I know.
CPD: I was just stupid.
Danelle: What are you doing tomorrow for TDay?
CPD: skiing
Danelle: alone?
CPD: yes.
Danelle: Im worried about you being lonely
CPD: I've been alone a long time. I'm fine. Im used to it.
Danelle: well, I will be back later tonight. not till around 9, but I'd love it if you were here, so we could get caught up.
CPD: i'll try
Danelle: ok. Have a good day tomorrow. Avoid the trees.