Saw this somewhere, a long time ago. It still makes me laugh:

MOTTOS FOR EVERY STATE:

Alabama:
At Least We're Not Mississippi

Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona:
But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas:
Literacy Ain't Everything

California:
As Seen On TV

Colorado:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character

Delaware:
We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water

Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia:
We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good!

Illinois:
Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa:
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky:
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana:
We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine:
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland:
A Thinking Mans Delaware

Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's*
*For Some Tax Brackets

Michigan:
First Line of Defense From the Canadians

Minnesota:
"10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes!"

Mississippi:
Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

Montana:
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else

Nebraska:
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada:
Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire:
Go Away and Leave Us Alone

New Jersey:
Ya Wanna Fuckin' Motto? I Got Yer Fuckin' Motto Right Here!

New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York:
People Without Cars

North Carolina:
Tobacco is a Vegetable

North Dakota:
We Really Are One of the 50 States!

Ohio:
...Fire ...on what lake?

Oklahoma:
Like the Play, only No Singing

Oregon:
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania:
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island:
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina:
Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee:
The Edjucashun State

Texas:
Si' Hablo Ing'les - Translated = Yes, I speak English)

Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont:
Eehh, Yep

Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington:
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family-Really!

Wisconsin:
Eat Cheese or Die

Wyoming:
We're On Your Way To Somewhere Else