I was checking on downloads.com for a calendar program to downlod to my pc. It's gotten to the point where I need to have a place where all my obligations and appointments can be seen at a glance, rather than scrambling for the scratch paper I wrote the appointment on.

Anyway.

I found this gem:

PMS Alert 1.0
Get a real-time estimation of ferility by tracking your natural monthly cycle.
OS: Windows 95/98/Me/2000/XP
File Size: 1.39MB
License: Free to try, $5 to buy

First of all, ferility isn't even a word. So do they mean virility? or.. fertility? Both very different things. Just what are we tracking here?

And the name of the product. Goodness. PMS Alert? Do you know how that sounds? Like women's moods are so terrifying and hostile that they are worthy of an alarm. This really should be for the men anyway, right? "Uh oh, I just got an alert. There won't be any bowling tonight, Vern."