Fuck it, Im writing anyway. If its incoherent and fucked up, fuck you. Hold on, it's gonna be a hell of a ride.
I am SO tired of hingeing my happiness and contentment on the fucked up thorn in my side. What is there to lament over? Plenty, Depending on which part of my being you ask. My head sees liar, cheater, phony, self serving preservationist, butcher, baker, candlestick maker. My heart sees everything I ever wanted, and there is no comparison. My head says find some self respect and get your shit together. My heart says crawl under the covers and cry till the tears are gone and my breath stops.
Why is the heart so much louder? Shut the fuck up and let the head speak, asshole.