Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...


Kt's having a lot of trouble posting to blogger. I hope this goes.
Anyway. Kind of a weird day. Hardly any Ss at all. It's v night. And thats....ok (Stuart Smalley) I had something profound to write about when I was standing outside but now I cant remember. Ok, well let's see whats weird about today. The whole CPD thing is kind of weird. Mostly because it's gonna be more than 1 night, more than just a date. Something you do when you've been dating a *while*. But I am looking forward to it, and really nervous about it at the same time. IT's totally risk vs. reward this time. And that just shows you the depth I think the reward has. Enough to take *that* much risk.

Havent heard from MC or MrLD, anxiously awaiting either or both! Talked to Ray for a bit. God, that situation is weird. We dont talk to each other at all when things are shitty in our during the major withdrawal period. We'll go 5, 6 days without speaking..seeing each other online. Then we will speak up finally and see what's been going on. Inevitably one of us (or more likely both) have had one of those weeks. We react so much the same too. He stayed home for three days. I have a tendency to go home early and sleep through lunch.

Oh I remembered what I thought of on the balcony. The body odor thing. It was really prevelant in my mind right then and the match of it was exact. Personally, I think it's some kind of weird psychic thing going on. How can it be so damn exact, and why now? And why is my reaction to it so positive? It's like a security blanket thing. It's like a grieving thing. A paranormal psychic thing. The positivity of it tho is what is the mystery. Why is that ok, but not DoJ? Strange... very strange

Dan is under an enormous amount of stress and is not dealing with it very well I dont think. I dont know what to do, mixed messages. And I have too many skeletons myself to start digging in other people's closets. However, we are talking about Daniel, so that kind of precludes any liberties given. I dont think the opposite could be construed as nearly as bad.

When is Joe leaving? I need to go watch tv.


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