Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...


I forgot to post about my freak out yesterday.

Daniel, in his infinite wisdom, decided that it would be ok to go to someone's house after school and not call me. School gets out at 2:45 and by 4:00, I was really starting to worry. When shit like this happens, I don't get the normal "hhmmm" worried like most moms. I've had a kid run away , remember. And it just so happens that two years ago to the day (yesterday) was in the range of days that Katie was gone. By 4:15 I was freaking out, unconsolable.

Mark knew the significance of the day, and was very helpful and comforting. We tried calling some of Daniel's friends, got no help there. I felt like an idiot, calling places asking if they'd seen him. "Hello, Im in incapable mother that doesnt know where their child is, can you help me?" I kept trying to call this one kids house that he goes to a lot, but their phone had a vmail on it that said "The party you are calling is not accepting calls at this time." wtf?

Finally around 4:35 Katie and Mark both left to go look for him. I felt lost, just sitting in a chair staring off into space. Everything I felt two years ago when Katie ran away came flooding back. It's the most devastating, empty feeling you can imagine. Are they thinking about how worried I am? Are they hungry? Cold? Sad? Happy? When the hours dragged in to days when Katie was gone, I felt like a zombie. Work? Please. Eating? Unfathomable. Sleeping? You gotta be kidding.

I would spend hours looking out the window wondering where she was..what was she thinking? It was snowing hard then, too..and I kept getting visions of her unconcious outside with snow falling on her face. It was terrible, absolutely horrible. The worst. Friends would call with sightings, the police would go look and not find her. I'd hear rumors of places she might be, but they were never true. I'd heard a rumor they (she was with charlie) had a friend get a blanket for them. I knew then that they were sleeping outside. God, even now...I'm getting weepy thinking about the places that I now know they were hanging out and sleeping at. Those days contain the darkest hours I've ever had in my life.

Daniel finally ambled in about 5 minutes after everyone left to go look for him. He seems surprised at the level of freak-out I had attained by then.
Suffice to say, I don't think he'll be going to anyone's house after school without calling again.

And on that lovely upbeat note, Im off to make coffee and settle in to watch American Idol hopefuls make fools of themselves.


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