Desert Sand Mica

Whatever, just crash it Bob...


Gees louise. I have spent entirely too much time trying to fix something that was ultimately fixed with a 3 minute phone conversation. All is well. No password, no drama.

Now. Onto the good stuff.

The Red Lion last night. Oh my.

We love this place when we're in the mood to be silly. When it's just good beer we want, we go to the Cat..but for fun, it's Red Lion all the way.

They have karaoke on Saturday nights, and it's hilarious. When we got there around 10, the place was already heaving and most folks were w-a-y past 3 sheets to the wind. The singing was uh..interesting to say the least...suffice to say I've never heard "Talk Dirty To Me" sung in a complete monotone. The last song we heard while we were there was "I've Got Friends In Low Places" sung by -as the karaoke DJ announced- "The Wal-Mart Crew".

The men in there are a few cuts below what most of us would deem acceptable. Lots of single 40-ishers sitting at the bar alone, with their wedding rings on. Go home, already. There was one sitting right next to us who I nicknamed the "leerer" because he didn't just look at you, he sized you up. Continually. Mark went outside at one point to make a phone call and I swear, it wasn't 2.3 seconds before he leaned over and started flirting.

We have been to the Red Lion about 4 or 5 times before, and the saddest thing is there is a group of about 6 people that are always.always.always there. What a place to hang your hat on a regular basis!

We had the most fun watching these two people we nicknamed mepp and the leprechaun. She was of undeterminable age, Mark says at least 38, I said more like late 20's. She just looked like she was younger to me, but had lived a little rough, know what I mean? She had on this weird black leather halter with fringe and silver beads. Her breasts were easily in the DD catagory, again, Mark disagreed and said they were bigger. She didn't just have big breasts tho, she was big all over, so every time she moved, some of her boobs would sneak out the side of the top, and intermingle with her underarm rolls. Her back was so fleshy that mark said "Look, she's got cleavage in the back too!" lol (mepp stood for Mount Everest, Pikes Peak.)

Oh, I almost forgot...she had really really bad teeth, big spaces between some of them, and jaggedly crooked. When she smiled big, (Mark pointed this out, I didn't notice it) she had these big swollen gums on the side of her mouth. Weird, huh.

Her man, the leprechaun, was a short little guy with a bad goatee. When I turned to Mark the first time and said "He looks like a leprechaun, doesn't he?" He doubled over and nearly spewed his beer.

Mark and I always play this game when we go out called "Who's the best looking person in here" and we struggled..we really did. After discounting ourselves, as we were clearly the most attractive people in the bar...we could only name the barmaid as the next best looking person, and could name no one else that was even tolerable to look at for more than a few seconds.

There was another really annoying woman who kept saddling up to the bar next to me to order drinks, although the obvious "Stand here to order" area was some feet away. She would act like she was crowding me out, and I would nudge her right back. Apparently she had had her camera stolen earlier, because she turned to me, I assume to alert me to the loss, but was surprised at my response, I think..

Her: "If you happen to find a really nice digital camera around here..."
Me: "Then I'll be taking a lot better pictures than I do now"

So, anyway. That was a lot of fun. Not somewhere I wanna go hang out frequently, but good for a laugh now and then.

And it makes stellar blog material.


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