There's a new daily read on the left side over there. Took out plastic girl cos she hasn't written in like 3 weeks. Cha. The new one is a new blog, hopefully a good one. I think it will be. Just read it and be quiet. I asked her where she happened to stumble across my blog from..and I got one of those " my cousins friend told his next door neighbors co-worker about it" answers. Now that is scary as hell! I can just hear the convos over the water cooler:

"She's such a fucken dumbass, why doesn't she just dump that loser?"
"I dont know but did you see what she did last weekend? Hello ho-ville"

Nah, it's cool. It's all good. I love the blog community. Love the bloggers, love to blog. Blog on, motherfuckers.

Found something incredibly fun..and dangerous...

Just a Tip

You can send an anonymous criticism or compliment to anyone with an email address. Does their breath stink? Do they need to start using deodorant? Know someone who has nice teeth? Send them a note from there..it's quite fun. Of course I've already sent some...Cha.

Am sitting here at my desk eating Wolfgang Puck soup. Should be called Wolf down the phuck soup. Not great. Not great at all. Wolfgang hasn't perfected the art of canned soup, apparently.

Not a whole hell of a lot going on. Gail called a meeting today and said she wants the office to appear more formal, starting now. No short summer dresses, not thongs, minimal sandals, etc. bleh, double bleh. I really hate spending money on work clothes. Everyone is so hell fire concerned about what the Board Members think. The Board Members. We need to impress the Board Members. They are gods, they are Royalty. We are their servants. No, Im a damn good assistant in a sun dress. Deal with it.

Gonna fry up some yummy Tri tip on the old Georgie Foreman tonight. yum city. Master Coles also wants some merlot. I prefer wine in a box.

Missed Six Feet Under this week..waiting to catch it in reruns. Almost caught it last night, but it had been on for 7 minutes, and we decided if we miss the "death" at the beginning that it would lose something. I think it's on again tonight. Also rented "The Wall" that we have the next 6 days to watch..I rented it from the library.

Looks like CPD may be coming down from the hills for a few days. Im skeptical, but would like to see him if he does. I wont hold my breath.

God my writing is boring when Im sober.

Was just now hearing the kind of niceties that are so nice, they are unnerving to hear. My heart is so incredibly fragile, I feel like. i want to read between the lines, but I know what the fall is like when I do. Now placting my mind and body with oreos.

I remember when I was 18 years old, I knew I would marry Dan. We'd only ever even seen each other face to face twice. Everything else was either by mail or by phone. This was B. I. (Before internet.) Then we married a few years later, and boom...Two years after we were married, I knew we weren't gonna make it for the long haul. I could see us trying and struggling for a long time first, but eventually..we would not be together. Now 15 years later...bam. Divorce City. I kind of have that same feeling now..the first one..but it's so different. So much more mature. And that always scares the crap outta me when I start feeling this way, cause the hammer coming down is never far behind...

Im reading a great great great book. I got it at the Booksale! It's called The First Sin of Ross Michael Carlson. It's about this sensational murder that happened, the trial, etc. This 19 y/o Mr All American boy killed his parents, and claimed Multiple Personality Disorder as his defense. It was a groundbreaking trial, but the coolest thing is that it happened about 2 miles from where I am sitting right now. It's so cool to read the book and smile at all the references he makes to the roads and restaurants, business and hospitals that i drive by every single day. I can't put the damn thing down. I took it to Pueblo today and read it for about an hour on the way home and finally decided I was probably being rude, and that Mark was probably feeling ignored.

It makes my day when someone I dont know reads my blog and writes to tell me about it. I always wonder what you think. Do you understand my life? Are you completly lost and confused? Does it make you laugh? am I a dumbass? Is it possible Im not as attractive as I think I am? (aahh..Seinfeld reference..)

I am so not looking forward to going to work tomorrow after the wonderful chewing out I got today. I need to buck up, I know..and I will. It just sucks.

I'm going to bed. It's so cozy there...cos of the nice words.

Lol - got an email from "Fragmented" and she said she hadn't even realized my link was inoperable on her site, and hadn't intended to make it look like she had taken me off. Wrote her back right away and told her sorry for my mention, and assumption. Funny.

And a note to JC The reference you asked about is Mark. aka Master Coles. And please send your email address , I would love to send you a personal note, and find out why you can relate so well to what I'm conveying here. And you're right, "PF" Is dead in the water. Thank god. PF was the exwife of BN tho, so no romantic connection there at all. God, Is the code really that messed up? I will try to be more clear.

Sitting at the Coles camp after getting back from Pueblo to pick up Emma. Gonna go to a baby shower for Laura from Marks work in a little while. I was so shocked he asked me to go. cool tho. There's been a lot of attention and niceties there. Trying hard not to read anything into it, cos I know it just aint there. *Sigh.

Went and did some yard saleing yesterday then went by the booksale early this morning to finish up some money counting business. Gail said she was "disappointed" that Ihadn't spent more time at the sale..translated.."You should have been here all weekend like we were". I didn't understand that was the expectations..and even if I did, I refuse to be married to that job. I got a little upset at first, but now I feel indignant.

I am unmoved to write right now. Bleh. I need to curl my hair and get primped for the Coles work crowd at the shower. I feel fat.

Went to read fragmented and saw she had taken me off as a daily read. How funny that I was mildly offended. I will still read, tho. Also figured out today that she is female. I was never really sure. Her writing is so generic and spacey, it's thought provoking but strange in a way. I think I stole what the title of her blog should be, as her life is definately more of a mess than mine. I like readng it tho. It's like a car accident.

She had a bad day again...

The book sale is crazy. The people are insane. The volunteers are certifiable. People will mow you down if they have to, cos they are gonna get those fucken used books. And there's all this security like there celebrities involved or something. Everyone important ( me!) has a radio and we have to constantly call each other for shit.
[crackle]
Where's Anne?" [crackle]
"I dont know"
[crackle] "Anne?"
It's insane. The most asked question of the day was undoubtedly...."Where's Anne?" ...Event Coordinator Extrodinaire. One time she was being called by the facilities director and she and I were behind "The Big Tent" smoking a cigarette. And her hat. Oh God. She had this great hat. This Taiwanese looking straw thing that she loved cos of the shade. Halfway through the day, she lost it. It was a huge topic of conversation all day.
"Where's that hat she had on?"
"She lost it"
"Oh bummer, that was a great hat"

Then at the last few minutes of the sale a crazy volunteer said "Anne, do you want your hat back now?"
We all just groaned. It was so Beaver Cleaverish.

The volunteers..oh god. First..the totally completely over the edge retarded dude...I dont know what his name was. Gail couldn't take it, she had to laff and walk away. He was just so completely over the edge retarded. His jeans were hiked up and belted near his chest.
The guy with the teeth. The really gross teeth. He and his wife were cute, but Anne said he terrified her. Hadda be the teeth.
The stealing ladies. Each volunteer was "Permitted" to take home one bag of books for 25% off. Some ladies were loading up boxes and boxes, and we had to go play bad guy to volunteers. Not good. I cant even imagine tomorrow, there will be so much press there. Celeste is gonna be on Channel 7 I heard. She's great for that. There will be radio spots, and 99.5 is gonna be playing the party tomorrow night. It's gonna be fun I think. It's the invitation only Young Lions night. 20-40 y/o crowd, big donors. Food and beer....Im there. Yea..him too. I know I will be dead on my feet but I can't resist. Ok no more. I am a goner.

Blllleeehhh
Denver Public Library Annual Used Book Sale Day One~
God who am I? I am so incredibly tired I can barely sit up straight. I went in at 8 and came home at 8:30. The other 8:30. I stood on my feet for 90% of that time. In the heat. In the wind. I smell like a barn. I am so out of it. I can't type cos my nails are too long. I have so much to write. I have to do it later.

Homeless people...
There's so many downtown, I watch them a lot and try to figure out what the hell went so wrong in their lives. Mark and I play a game called "Whats Their Story" when we are just sitting around at restaurants and parks. We watch people, either individually or in groups and figure out what their story is just by observation. Watching homeless people is no different, but they are harder to figure out. Some of them have been homeless a long time, you can tell. I saw a guy this morning that looked "newly" homeless. He had dockers on, and a clean shirt. The buggy he was pushing around wasn't making a racket, and everything he had in it was clean and neat. He had a sleeping bag in the bottom, and it looked old and dirty, but everything else looked in pretty good shape. And he didn't have much in the buggy either. A couple of bags of cans, another grocery bag full of 'something'..and a half drunk bottle of generic Dr. Pepper. I wondered what the last straw was that brought him to the street. And what are people thinking when they first get on the street?
"I wonder where I get a buggy from"

They all have buggys...or "trollies" as Mark says. The first time you go get a buggy are you self concious when you are wheeling it (empty) away from the grocery store parking lot? It's always so out of place to see a buggy in a residential neighborhood, discarded on the corner or something. Buggys are completely out of place when they are away from the store.

But the buggys become the primary possession of the homeless person. Whatever worldly goods they have managed to salvage from their former life are contained within. And new things are put in regularly. Things gleaned from the street, the trash, other homeless people. Do they barter things that are in their buggys?

"Hey, I see you have a pillow, wanna trade for these sunglasses?"

When I go outside to smoke, I am barraged by homeless people wanting cigarettes. I only take one cigarette out with me, so I never have any to give. But would I? Probably not. I tend not to give things to homeless people.

One time Dan and I were confronted outside the Cheesecake Factory after we'd had a big, expensive meal. A homeless man approached us and asked if he could have our leftovers, our 'doggy bags'. We gave them to him. I guess I figured if you are desperate enough to ask for half eaten food..you must want it pretty bad.

Im going outside again now. I am intent on observing the homeless today.

What a darn fun weekend. Friday night we went to Red Robin, which actually turned into a nightmare. Emma was so terrified of the Red Robin guy, she shrieked and crawled out of her skin evry time there was any hint of him being around. She said she doesn't wanna go back there for a long time. Mark didn't even get to finish his dinner, we boxed it up and took it home for later.

Saturday we did some yard saleing, hit a community sale close to home and Mark bought a great tv for 10 bucks. Ive tried to give him 12 for it, but he wont give in. Saturday afternoon we barbequed in the park, that was a great time. Katie and charlie came too, which was really nice. Hung out for a few hours and just chilled. We forgot to bring a spatula to flip the burgers, so Mark made one out of a pop can and a coat hanger using his spydie! Very cool... Saturday night..what did we do. Watched Six Feet Under and pretty much just chilled.

We had planned to do another round of garage saleing on Sunday, but we all woke up late and decided to be vegetables till it was time to take Emma to her mommy. After we dropped her off, Mark and I went to the Factory Outlet stores in CRock and he bought a great leather coat from Wilsons, at a fraction of the original cost. Offered him 10 bucks for that too....no go.

Last night we watched a new episode of Six Feet Under and drank Caffreys till we were too buzzed to do *anything* else. Mark let me cut his hair..that was insane. I thought I cut too much off, but he was totally ok with it. It looks great.

This week is the Used Book Sale at the Library. Im expected to be here for most of it, including part of the day on Sat and Sun. Hopefully it will come back to me positively when I ask for the time off to go to NC. Where is my check?

More later...

Had a really really great time last night. Went to the Hoffbrau with the old gang from Auraria and it was a blast. We got incredibly loud and obnoxious, to the point that Lisa felt uncomfortable and had to leave. She didn't say that, but you could tell. We had a lot of Avalanche and quite a few shots, too. Karen stayed the latest and her and Mark and I had some great conversation. I knew they would like each other a lot if they ever had the chance to meet up. Karen is so analytical and I was anxious for her to give me her take on him. It was all good...lol

Came home and had some nice compliments float my way..that was unusual but very nice. Am looking forward to a good weekend.

Am hungover today, tho. I never get hungover. I think it was the kamikazes that did it. Feeling dehydrated and achy, loopy and shaky. Hey, now I'm writing poetry. That rocks.

Katie turned me on to the new "Saves the Day" CD and I am so totally into it. I love every song except one on it. I cant wait for the concert. Here's my fave:

Nightengale
~Saves the Day

And I will flail
Under these lights
That seep down from the bitter sky tonight
And I will kick
And beat my wrists together
And feel an ocean breathing waves,
Feel them licking at my face.
Ceilings don't exist
And there are no floors beneath me.
If I were king of this night, would you become my queen?
And I hope, your majesty, that you like your position.
I'll do everything I can to keep you by my side
And I'll stare off through the darkness to find us a kingdom.
Just kiss me before I go.
I'll have to walk a thousand miles
Just to find the ground deserving of your feet.
You could throw me down and walk on me
And I'd just look on through my love and through the haze.
The nightingales are singing now.
They're calling out our marriage to our subjects on their knees.
Their jewelry is thrown into the air.
They sigh at the release as their shackles hit the ground.
The trumpets call out now. We're home at last.

Damn, thats some good stuff.

The saga continues.
Wonderfully nasty guestbook entries are appearing daily. Guess where my visitor monitor tells me they came from? I bet you'll never guess.
Lots of nice people visit my blog. 99% of you are welcome. Mrs. Stinky PF is not. I will get nasty if you do not stop. Leave me alone.

Btw...a "no contact" order has been issued. Friendly. Verbally. Cyberifically.
We'll see if that holds. Otherwise, we'll be naming names and numbers, children.
Just walk away and pretend you have a life, Stinky PF people. You have been warned.

And thank you to JH for my brand new site meter. Very cool. Very James Bondish. Sssshhhhh

Here it is, in all its glory. Mrs. Stinky (PF) messaged me, and I think she might have been sorry she did. Physically, I probably can't kick anyone's ass. Verbally, I will rip open your throat and shit down your fuckin' neck.

PF: You should just block him
Me: fuck off
PF: What a nice thing to say
Me: you're as much of a problem as he is
PF: I'm how?
Me: you're both just a couple of pathetic losers
PF: I don't talk to you and you say I'm a Loser
PF: Then just block me too
Me: oh you're a loser alright. I cant block you in AIM, besides, you make me laff. Im entertained
PF: I feel the some way
Me: ok good. then take your ugly little face, and your ugly little children and your ugly little life and go play somewhere else
PF: My children how sad is it that you how to talk. about My Kids your the one that is a sorry person. I have never said a thing about your kids
PF: and what I said was to help you out
PF: Your a mother
PF: how would you feel
Me: help me out? i dont need your kind of help. You are just a conniving pathetic waste of a woman. I just said your kids were ugly. Its a fact
PF: and your kids are??
Me: how would i feel what? if someone said my kids were ugly? i wouldnt feel anything cos they arent.
Me: yours are. ive shown their pictures around and we all had a good laff
PF: How have you seen thier pictures?
Me: duh..he sent them to me
Me: yours too
PF: He??
Me: he?? yea he... there's only one HE we have in common
PF: That's very low to use Kids in this I guess thats why you can't keep yours
Me: whatever...go take your damn kids to the zoo or something
PF: It's one thing
PF: to talk shit about me but my kids
PF: Maybe that why HE said it was over
Me: you're babbling
PF: And at least I know what my Kids are doing
Me: uh huh
Me: i know what they're doing too
Me: lookin ugly!
PF: You know I was just trying to be nice, but I can see that HE was right about you
Me: that picture of you at christmas was r-e-a-l-l-y bad.
Me: yea he was right. And now he's a loser. And a thief. And a stalker
Me: so, didja get a job yet? you goin to jail yet? You off your fat ass contributing to the world yet?
PF: Do you know what My dress size is and no i'm not going to jail there a lot more to that story then you know Me: i know he lied to the cops... i know that much
Me: THAT wouldnt be very fun for them to find out would it
Me: and im done talkin about that...you're a psycho. plain and simple.
Me: i dont trust you, i dont trust him. You're both sad, ugly, stinky, white trash
PF: Did he I would like to know what he lied about
Me: oh i bet you would. Too bad
Me: thats my little secret to use if necessary
PF: I do have a copy of the report
Me: im sure you do. thats standard when you are a defendant.
PF: and thats all they can use
Me: its really too bad everyone is being so nasty...i had nothing against any of you till he started being an asshole to me two days ago
PF: I know nothing about that
Me: uh huh
Me: then why are you telling me to block him? obviously you know he's writing to me..and messaging me
PF: Yes he called me today
Me: oh i bet you just peed your pants about that
PF: that why I told you to block him
PF: Why would I pee my pants over you I think not
Me: maybe i like him..oooh what would you do then..huh? Wouldja go bezerk again like before?
PF: No I have my new life with him
PF: and I get all the e-mails
Me: oooh isnt that special
Me: you and mr shaved tiny stinky dick back together forever...
Me: waahhh
Me: if you get all his emails then you already know he's being an asshole to me
Me: and you already know he is thisclose to a restraining order
PF: And I tried to talk to you
Me: well dont bother.... we're watching him like a hawk
PF: And how can you get a restraining order on him of he's done nothing?
Me: we have evidence that he came into my house uninvited... and lurked outside
Me: he's been here several times
Me:...we've all seen him
Me: he drives by at least twice a week
PF: Lurked outside? and drives by that hard seeing I'm living with him at this time
Me: oookay..whatever you say
PF: Call and find out
Me: oh no thanks..i believe it. you deserve each other
Me: i also know he IS driving by....
PF: What do you have to lose
Me: i hope you are together, you sick fucks - i hope you're sucking his bald miniature dick every night
Me: blah blah blah - you have nothing worthwhile to say so you make shit up
Me: go smash your face somewhere
PF: Call him and ask
Me: ask him what?! i want to file a restraining order, i aint calling you sorry fucks
Me: he'll tell you anything, dont you know that by now
~Enter HIM~
Stinky: lol, she's not lying Nelle. As for the restraining order, it goes both ways, will save the trouble. I can account for my whereabouts at all times
via my kids, my wife, and my internet access. As I said, get over yourself, I have far better things to do with my time than waste the gas to drive by your apt.
Me: uh huh... it goes both ways? catch me reading your shit or driving by your house just once. Not gonna happen
Stinky: chuckle. Silly girl. The restraining order. I've never done so, and never will - as I said, waste of my time. Glad you all are watching whoever it is like a hawk tho, they must be happy for the attention.
Me: im busy posting this conversation..go away

I had to be done after that. I was afraid things were gonna get ugly. BN~Rest In Peace. And take your smashed up faced family with you.

Just had a very interesting IM conversation with Mrs. Stinky. Captains Log tomorrow. I promise.

I have to say something about Kira. She wrote to me a few days ago...

"omg you seem to be a lot like me....next thing i'll read is that you like Corona and have insomnia. i guess it's a small world huh?
i can totaly relate, believe me. i'd tell you my life story, but i'm trying to get out of the habit of long emails and just blog everything. makes more sense that way. if anybody (like my so-called friends) gives a shit, they can go to the damn website. LMAO. Anywayz, love your blog, will continue reading. HAVE FUN IN NO. CAROLINA it's way cool up there! you will dig it!!!"

I hate Corona. But the rest of it is right on. Insomnia? It's my middle name, babeee. And I like it! (SNL reference)

More in the continuing saga of the box. Got an email that said something about giving myself too much credit, and nattering on about roomate #1 and roomate #2. You'd think someone that kept such close tabs on my writing would know there's only one roomate..Joe. Nice guy. Big guy. We ain't gonna fuck around guy.

CPD has agreed to try again. Lord. Not till the first weekend in August or something tho. Where is the summer going? I'm already making plans for August. I am going to a concert, I am seeing CPD, I am going to NoCarolina. Then the summer will be over.

Am getting worried about VG. So is everyone else. He is completely MIA for almost a month. Read an email that someone else got from him that said all was well, would write more soon. I'm suspicious. Something is up.

Found another hilarious website - Is Dick Cheney Dead Yet? Daily updates. Here are the last 3 entries:

Monday, July 16, 2001
Not dead yet.
posted by K A at 10:36 AM

Friday, July 13, 2001
He nearly keeled over earlier today when informed that there was a gay porn star with the same name. Nearly.
posted by K A at 9:21 AM

Friday, July 06, 2001
He's been mostly dead all day. But, not quite dead yet.
posted by K A at 12:03 PM

Damn, that's funny.

Six Feet Under Rocks

Hotmail totally changed their interface. Very weird.

Wow, just got the lo-down from Joe. the box was there when he went to work this morning. He went in early!. I thought that the box came overnight...cos I was the last one to bed, and am usually the first one out in the morning. But it was there when he left for work, which means it came early this morning. Also... because of the statement from Stinky re: who picked up the box, I can only surmise that he was lurking...waiting to see who got the box. Wow. I just had a very heated conversation about the whole thing to Joe. It's insane. It's so psycho. It's so creepy. Joe said "so that's why the door was locked when you guys were home this afternoon". I didn't even realize I'd locked the door when Joe went to go work out but I did. Too funny. Joe said he sees a restraining order in Stinky's future.

One more thing. I never said this morning how I knew instantly what it was. I know because of the condition of the box. Pristine. Taped up tighter than a blonde canadian. Non-rip-openable. Duh. You are what you do.

Mostly random thoughts.

What the FUCK was i thinking. My whole intention of keeping myself busy tonight was editing pictures. What the hell possessed me to think that looking at pictures of July 4 would make me not stress and not think about shit. How did I imagine i could edit these pictures tonight? It was not good. Not good at all.

Do you ever go to something with someone and they are taking pictures of of it so intently that you feel like they're missing it?

The pictures Mark sent me from July 4 are all crooked. What the hell.

Traffic is becomiing more and more of an irritant, and wondering if that means I should start taking the bus. I get so incredibly amazed at the continued ignorance of other drivers. The heat has only made it worse. I would have to get up so much earlier if I took the bus..and that is so unappealing.

Avalanche/Butthole surfers. I loaded the song up on winamp to hear it. Once. And forgot about it. It has now played about 12 times in a row, and I feel unable to make the effort to change it.

Big Brother is my favorite new show. I love these people. I hate these people.

Joe said "You can't say no...to HBO"
I said "Is that your new motto?"
He said "It's always the motto, you just dont know it's the motto till you have HBO. HBO will make you forget about the internet."

Thirtysomething was on tonight. That is the first drama that I was ever truly addicted to. That and St. Elsewhere.

I am going to clean my room tonight. I just need some soda first.

Off to feel the imaginary importance-

You know, I really dont want any animosity. I really dont. Im the one that wanted to try to stay friends. He initiates and feeds the discord. I've asked several times to put everything aside...nope. He ain't gonna do it. Ok, fine. There's a lot of things each of us could do to make life a living hell for the other. But why? That's stupid. I just want to forget about it. I feel bad about things, mostly. I just want it to be something I dont think about anymore.

Wow, stinky has a temper.
Stinky: WTF is your problem ? If you want to deal with sheriffs and such, fine - I'll be more than happy to file a defamation of character and slander suit against you for unsubstantiated charges. I suggest you talk to your roomate(s) about who placed the box inside your doorway. I have better things to do with my time than break into your apt and risk my life and career for 5.00 worth of crap.I had the foresight to bring a witness with me that I left it outside on your doorstep.
Me: quit reading my shit..its none of your business - you're a pathetic waste of air
Stinky: I didnt - someone else did, and called me. As for reading your shit, it's public domain - stfu.
Me: boy people are sure interested in my doings and writings, arent they....
Me: so i changed your name in the blog, no one knows it's you. No one that matters cares. So you have nothing on me, real or imagined re: libel, defamation, whatever else you can dream up in your lonely little head
Stinky: lol. When will you learn that digs don't work on me :) Enjoy your blogging, and your imaginary importance. Thanks for changing it, nothing more to say.
~~
Lol, thanks for changing his name from (insert real name here) to stinky. Now that's funny.

So and so just reminded me of the night we laffed so hard looking at stinky's ex's pictures. We nicknamed her PF - I cant tell ya why. Too bad. It's funnier than hell.

WHy am I thristy? I dont know, I just am. Katie and I went to the store at a ridiculous hour last night and bought lots of weird drinks, among other things. I bought a high energy Sobe drink and I was asleep in 30 minutes. That's what happens when you've done a lot of recreational drugs in your life..the legal stuff doesn't do anything. I wanted to get some energy upto clean my bedroom, but I didnt. It's so trashed right now and it must be done tonight. My car, also. I had intended to do that after work today, but I just heard it's going to be 93 degrees, so thats not happening.

It's 8:14 and I am at work, and no one else is here. Am wondering if I missed a memo or an email or something. Am also considering telling the gang I came in at 6am cos I have to leave early. Nah...leave early and do what? Bake in 93 degree heat? I'll sit here for a while longer, thanks. I am going to have to find something to do tonight. It's a volatile situation, cos I'm being pre empted. So I have to keep busy and not think about a damn thing. Especially compost. If you know, you know. If you don't, ask.

I had to get HBO so I could watch Six Feet Under. This was my first contractural purchase since getting my new job, and a better paycheck. Mark and I have a nice little ritual of watching it together, so Im just gonna tape em and take them to his house to watch. Last night I had a hard time not watching it. It's so great.

Oh god! I almost forgot! So..I get up this morning and right inside the front door is this box. I know instantly what it was. It was all my shit from stinky's house. Ok, fine. But the really bothersome thing was is that it was inside the door and I was the last one to go to bed, and it wasn't there then. So..not only does he wait an unacceptable amount of time to return things that belong to me...but he breaks and enters to do it. I was so pissed. I was >thisclose< to calling Araphoe County Sheriff and saying "listen, there's this box in my house, maybe its a bomb" and getting stinky in shitloads of trouble. God knows he deserves it and then some. Glad that whole deal is past, and I finally have my stuff back.

Well, the status of all things male is pretty pathetic. I think CPD is never going to talk to me again because I railed him about the weekend that didn't happen. Big misunderstanding according to him. Point is, I don't even want a man that can't say no to his job. Enter MrLD. Ditto. Told him last night I was not interested in pursuing even a friendship at this point, cos I didn't feel treated as a friend. Guess I better get my stuff off his server..pronto. So CPD is gone, MrLD is gone..geesus. Feels good tho. Fresh start, clean slate. Bring in the fog.

I need coffee....

Oh man, I feel like I have so much to write about.

Just had the funniest conversation with Dy about life... Im gonna post a little here, so you get the gist...

Me: that is for sure... we know all the tricks..all the tips..
Her: no kidding...i could write several articles on how to lose weight
Me: people say "oh have you tried this?" FUCK yea, i tried that
Me: and that and that and that
~
Me: i never could figure out if i was an apple or a pear
Me: do you know what im talking about?
Her: i'm a pear, you're an apple
Her: yeah, i know
Her: lol
Me: wow...an apple

God all that font color changing is taxing my brain. But you get the idea....

The Blogathon. Is this ridiculous or what? An effort to get as many as people as possible blogging once every 30 minutes in a 24 hour period. For charity. I dunno, I signed up but now Im kinda weirded out about it. It doesn't sound that appealing to me anymore. I will have no sponsors..I wouldnt even try to get any, cause it's so stupid. So whats the point? I would be so tired for days afterwards. Yet have this wonderful blog-a-thon essay to show for it. Ummm..no.

I found this in one of my daily blog reads...
At this moment, Toto is awake, wandering around, barking to see if his mournful yapping will bring about an appearance of Hubby. We have a motion sensor at the bottom of the stairs (beware, all who think to come and steal my growing Mac collection!) and I've had to arm and disarm four times already to go down and get the very-able-to-go-down-the-stairs-and-bark-at-the-front-door but not-able-to-climb-the-stairs-to-go-to-bed dog.

Makes me nuts.

And great. Now he's eating poop.

~She doesnt write very often, but when she does..it's golden.
Sarah

Cherry Creek Reservoir is closed for an indeterminable amount of time, due to an accidental spill of 60,000 gallons of raw sewage. This is so incredibly disgusting to me, I can't even believe it. We were there just two weeks ago and I was icked out by the water. We had a great time playing in it, but it still gave me the willies. Mark says it's like a giant bathtub that everyone uses, and it never gets drained. There's probably so much crap in that water..Im sure its harboring several diseases.

We are gearing up to go to NC. Went to Savers and bought luggage cause we didn't have any. Have looked at lots of little tourist trap websites and picked out some fun stuff to do. Im hoping to stay on some assemblance of a budget. Cross your fingers. Im so damn excited...

W-e-a-ry....
Had everything all mapped out to go massive yard saleing today, then we found out emma was coming back early so we had to shift things around a bit. We hung out around the house and played vegetables for a while..but emma was being really happy so we decided to give the garage saleing a go. I think we left the house at 8:30. Emma was great..wanted the top down, and was chattering non stop. We only went to a few sales, then decided to head for some food. Hit one or two more after that (one of them was this crazy Islam sale) and then headed for my house for naps. We went and picked up katie then, then came back here for yummy steaks on Marks new George Foreman grill. Now we all have one. Joe paid retial, I paid 20 bucks at a yard sale..Mark paid only $5 today for one...man I love other people's junk.

The crazy Islam sale was so weird. Tons of really good stuff, all thrown out in this parking lot. Mounds and mounds of clothes, 4 pieces for a dollar! Found some great stuff for Katie and Daniel and Emma. They had tons of pcs and monitors. The people were incredibly friendly, and incredibly Islam.

Hanging out at the Coles Camp tonight...cause Emma's here, of course. Might try some more sales tomorrow, we'll see how the tiny princess is. We have no plans, just gonna play it by ear.

K, time to go watch Bizarre Moments. lol..love that shit.

Katie and I are going to NC in just about 6 weeks...fun!

There's all kinds of crap I wanted to write about. Driving over to Mark's tonight was a nightmare. Lights were out all over the place cause it was raining ogain! (Emma speak). So here I am at all the flashing intersections...trying to pay attention enough to remember the protocol. Then goading others because they've forgotten the protocol. Everyone approaches the intersection with such trepidation. "oooh, a four way stop..what do I do..who's turn is it..whats going on?" The traffic was jammed.. jammed all the way back, for at least a couple of miles. I started thinking..after I passed the massive jam ups at the dark intersections..that the people on the other side of the street, still jammed up cos they havent got there yet..dont know whats going on. They dont know the lights are out. They could be assuming there is an accident, or god knows what. But I know. I possess the knowledge of what lays ahead, and what the hold up is. I felt like rolling down my window and in a very Clark Griswold manner yelling..."the lights are out up there..its a mess."

That got me thinking about driving ettiquette in general. Like the obligatory wave. When someone lets you into the lane..lets you merge. Do you wave? Always? Are you offended when you let someone in and they dont wave? It makes me regret letting them in. The wave is the affirmation that you are a nice person for letting them in. Not getting the wave makes you feel like a doormat. Mark and I were out and about, and someone let him turn in front of him and we both waved. We agreed that was overkill. But both admitted we didn't know the other was going to wave. This sparked the whole driving ettiquette conversation. We talk about weird shit, believe me. This isn't even as weird as it gets.

ok, enuff. Yard sale-ing tomorrow. Emma comes back too. Gonna be a day where we collapse at 7pm and say "god, I am beat." but good. Very good.

Bleh. Gotta change my mood to something besides slutty. Am getting grouchy, cause everyone else is grouchy. Well, Mark..specifically. He's being all prickly, his pc at work isn't working I guess which is bad enough..but still. He always gets so creepy to me when other things are pissing him off. Bleh.

Hope the weekend is fun. Prolly will be, who knows. Bleh bleh bleh. Im grouchy.

I am doing absolutely farking nothing at work. I love my job. I spend my day at bf.com, and reading other peoples blogs. And chatting, of course.

I cant get my chair right at work. Everyday either I have some debilitating pain in my ass or leg after sitting here all day. Is it the istting or the chair? And it's entirely too quiet here. Im afraid to turn on any music, cos it's so damn quiet. So mostly I just whistle or hum rowdy punk tunes to myself.

Every utterance I make to certain people online today is a sexual innuendo. Im edgy. Im not going to be able to function until it's over. Im feeling experimental and uninhibited. Maybe I should go meet a stranger in a bar.

There is a weird smell when you go out in a certain part of the hall here. I think it's someone's perfume, but it's not good. And its there every single day. It's like really old lady perfume. I remember my grandma used to spray Lilac scented air freshener on herself for cologne when she got old. She also saved the last little bits of bars of soap. When she died we went through her stuff and she had an enormous tupperware container full of these little slivers. I dont know what she was thinking..maybe melting them all down and remaking them into bars of soap again? She couldn't have been worried she would run out of soap, she had at least 565 brand new bars. She also never mastered the art of video taping, so she used to audio tape some of her favorite shows. She used to do oil paintings so some of her favorite shows were painting shows. I never could understand how you could get anything out of an audio tape of a painting show.

I dont drive by her house anymore, cause it's too depressing. The guy next door who runs a recycling company bought it, and the house has pretty much been swallowed up by the recycling yard. It makes me sad to drive by and remember how much I used to bitch and moan about driving over there to visit her and mow her grass.

I miss my grandma a lot. Hi Granny.

Feeling much better today, I dont think Im gonna get sick.

Im edgy..very edgy. Relief...relief!

Something funny, I forgot.

Mark and I had a fight last night. Not a real fight. Not a pillow fight. A Magic Marker fight.

I lost...

I think I am starting to get sick. Not really sick. My throat is hurting a little and I have a sore spot on my face. Funny thing..when I start getting sick I get these little sore spots on my body. Just tender to the touch. My doctor once told me its common that the illness more or less settles in one spot in your body... It sounds like quackery to me, but it certainly seems to have some basis in fact. Right now the sore spot is on my left cheek (face cheek). Makes me feel like my teeth are hurting. I didn't sleep well last night, had that damn "why is my chest so tight" feeling again too. I think I'm falling apart. My chest finally stopped hurting with two doses of baking soda and water. Good christ..it sounds like I am 80 years old and someone just asked me "how are you?!

Joe told me last night that he will be moving out probably in October, by November for sure. Man that blows. Where am I gonna find as great of a roomate as Joe? Joe said we need to find a college student..someone that doesnt mind how dirty the house is. He also said I should up the rent. Bleh! I hate thinking about trying to find *another* roomie.

I hate having to ride the elevator down 7 floors and go outside to smoke. Maybe it's time to quit. Riiiight.

Im starting to feel a little more normal, a little more comfortable. Fog's in.

CPD is just a whole buncha weirdness. What happened there? Did I do something? I don't think I did, but I'm totally confused. I thought everything was a go..I am wondering if that's that or what. I would really like to know, it's just so strange. Stay tuned.

Ok, I have to say something. When people get stuck on making fun of some part of your name..they just won't let it go. It's so nauseating everytime you hear it. And if the same person keeps using it over and over..it becomes so reminiscent of being in elementary school. I hear the same thing over and over..and no I'm not gonna repeat it cause it just makes me hurl. There is not much to make fun of in my name...I mean it's not like my name is Carrie Hunt or Shaun Cox or Candy Cane. But if I hear "O'Shea..can you seee?" o-n-e more time, Im gonna start swinging. Please stop.

I think I've crashed into some resolve somewhere. Where the hell did that come from? I'm glad about it, but it's almost foreign. And it's probably just fog, anyway. It won't last. The new job is having an amazing effect on my esteem. I'm really feeling some upward progress in life, financially and professionally if nothing else. Some of the other stuff doesn't seem so critical when most things are going so good. I'm used to the doom and gloom dread feeling when it starts to unravel...but I don't feel that's imminent right now. Maybe that's the most dangerous attitude to have. That's when shit hits the fan. I felt at Auraria that I was dependant on others for my happiness, but now am feeling that I am responsible and accountable for my own attitude and well being. I go half the day without chatting, finding things that I want to do to either get myself integrated or acquainted. And it's the library, for gosh sakes..there's 8 gazillion books to look at every day. I love the whole library environment. It's very civic and artsy. Auraria was functional and homey. The library is upper echelon. Auraria was Miller Lite. The Library is Caffrey's.

Got a great 17" Sony Triniton monitor at a yard sale this weekend, for 50 dollars. I know. Sit down..I know. And its perfect. It nearly tapped me, but I couldn't even think about leaving without it. I could feign poverty, and ask Mark to buy it..but he knows better. lol..would I do that? I wonder. ~or~ I could jew them down to 35 bucks, and feel like a thief...or just pay the man the 50 bucks and enjoy it. Which is exactly what I ended up doing. Man..nice people too. Guy turned out to be a brit..here for 25 years. A really nice family. Restores your faith in strangers. Sometimes I start thinking that everyone except me and maybe 2 of my friends are complete idiots.

Now that it is summer everyone's windows are down, and I've had to become concious of how much I yell at other drivers...in the winter I can scream all I want, now people can hear me...

I got a plastic drink bottle at Kmart, and guess what it is. It's an anteater. Anh ee er. Man o man....that's a funny qtooc.

Joe just gave me *so* much shit. Kt and I both came out of our rooms at the same time to get some food. Joe was in the kitchen while we were looking at the fridge and he says "dont eat any of the healthy food, cos that's mine" LOL! Then he said - "I know...eat some ice cream and chips, and then have a donut. Make sure you take a couple of colas too. Then you can have some of that cookie dough in there...god what were they, 5 for a dollar or something?" Finally I said.. "I'm gonna have some Cheetos" he says "Perfect!!"

We had a really bad storm yesterday...it just came completely out of nowhere. We're used to it raining every afternoon lately...you plan for it..everyday. But this was so weird. It got windy, and then the rain was suddenly so fierce and intense that it made you go to the window and go "whooaa...." It was raining so hard and so fast that the air was thick like fog. The streets were completely flooded in just a few minutes. Some major roads were impassable for hours...even until this morning. Hailed a lot too, small but accumulated a lot. Made the storm even more intriguing 'cause it was noisy . Cool, but very scary. I love when it's a major blizzard in the wintertime and the news won't leave it alone, I'm all over it. The best snow days to me are the ones where they call off work and you spend the day in front of channel nine..watching the storm. We interrupt this program to bring you a special report...

and my car..oh my god..

I had the windows down. I mean *all* the way down. and the sunroof was open. My car had standing water in every footwell. I had to bail it out for a good long while, and it's still soaked inside. Every cup holder, coin holder, crack and crevice is full of water. I had to sit on 3 layers of trunk clothes to stay dry. I've got to clean out my car.

One more thing..working at the library is the coolest thing since sliced
bread.

ok, just posted and lost it. God I hate netscrape so much.

Am at home in my new job, and loving it. The schedule is flexible, I dont have to be here at 8, and dont have to leave at 5. And I am completely *not* chained to my desk. Man, that is nice. I cant wait to see my new paycheck..that will be the best part.

Have decided to not do Americas..Im just too busy and I really think I can get by on the money I get from DPL. Some aspects of it would have been nice, but I just dont want to right now.

Am seeing CPD finally this weekend, I think we're gonna pull it together. It'll be a miracle if it really happens. Everything looks like a "go" tho..so that is cool. Also, Kt and I are finalizing plans to go to NC in late August, early September. Need to arrange the time off and all that, and wait for my PERA to fund the trip. Everything should be great. Also gonna pay Mark off what I owe him with that money..I will be so glad to get that off my back. So many monetary things I have let slip by the wayside that I need to get
caught up on now. Big time budgeting time. Maybe I can finally scrape by a living, ya think?

Got a nasty note from BN..what a damn weirdo. Cant/wont see me. wtf? Still is holding my stuff hostage. Some woman came by the apt the other day when I wasnt home with a box..kids didnt know who it was, but not the mailman. They said I wasnt there, and she said she'd come back. Was that it? What a weasle. No wonder he has no friends left in his life from past acquaintances, he discards everyone as soon as he is through with them. More power to him. Glad I got out while the getting was good.

Looks like we are going bowling tonight and then yard-saleing again tomorrow. Always a good time. Beer and throwing balls..fun times.

Gonne close for now and get some actual work done. Fridays are very laid back..the two people I work most closely with arent in on Fridays. Hence, the blog.

More soon -

Time to blog? I dont know. We'll see how it goes.

Im sitting here with a nice cold Fat Tire wishing I was inebriated. Wondering how long it will be before Joe gets into the brew himself. Had to go to the store for food for tomorrow night, the ColesCamp will be over. Didn't find anything that inspired me at all, so I bought a bunch of crap.

I have to figure out how I am going to get to work. I need to look at bus routes, but I am completely uninspired. The bus is going to be almost as much as parking so fuck it for now. I need to get a pass. Or something.

Oh man..critical moments. Dontcha hate em? pins and needles, pins and needles. I cant stand it.

Looks like I am meeting RPD this week. That will be weird, we've been online buds for son long. Fun tho, it'll be good. No pressure.

Im blogging one liners. I have nothing to say. No motivation, no inspiration. Just critical moments. man...

Ok, well...days later - here I am. It was one of those weekends. Bad news, Im shibless. There is probably more bad news I could convey..but either can't or wont.

Started my new job today. Very cool. I think I'm gonna like it a lot. I can pretty much come in when I want to, and leave accordingly. Got most of everything squared away today..email, vmail etc. The girl that is leaving and training me is great. She got a lot of things organized and stocked up for me. I think it's gonna be good. And hey. The money...stellar, simply stellar.

Had a yard sale hopping weekend with Master Coles. That was fun. Got some great VHS that I can half.com for w-a-y over what I paid. Coolness. Otherwise we sat around a lot and did pretty much nothing, except swelter in the heat. Had a nice dinner on his dime at Jacksons..that was nice. I didnt go to Pueblo, electing instead to hang around his house and clean it up before they got there. Am regretful of that, but cant say why. Sorry....Im stifled right now. It's important.

Lets see what else...I thought of some funny things I wanted to write down, but Im too sober.

Katie is still camping, which is probably a good thing, considering Mark has had her pc for almost a week. Should be done by Wednesday at the latest, he says. Let's hope, or there'll be hell to pay. Hell hath no fury like Kt without her IM's.

More later, if the mood strikes. Shib....where is shib.